Setting a goal, and saying it out loud
My second post in LiveJournal, ever. I am working on a blog entry for work and realized it was fairly personal but still relevant to my colleagues. So, I decided to post here. This is pretty much top of my head, so any feedback would certainly be appreciated so I can improve it before posting at work. Thanks!!
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Setting a goal, and saying it out loud
Two years ago, I set a goal, in January, as so many people do. I was afraid to tell people b/c if I failed I didn’t want everyone to know I had failed. Past experience had told me it’s better to work on something, reach success, then go tell everyone about how you achieved your goal. Then, for times that it didn’t work out, you wouldn’t have told anyone, so no one would know that you failed. That’s what it seemed like people around me were doing all the time.
Then, I noticed that many of the internal, private goals I had set for myself over the years hadn’t really come to fruition. That trip to Spain, a chance to study abroad for a Spanish major-never happened. Visiting all 50 states at least once in my life? Well, sorry to say the number of states I’ve visited hasn’t really changed in the last 15 years. Raising my kids in a bilingual family? Nope. Integrating community service activities as a part of my “everyday life”? Not that one either. Hmmm…what was the difference?
I’m not sure how this epiphany happened, but it suddenly dawned on me, in late 2008, that one part of my goal-setting was significantly missing. I hadn’t told anyone about my goals. They were my little secrets. No one knew I had failed b/c no one knew what I had wanted to do in the first place. And, let’s face it, other people’s opinions matter to all of us, at least to some degree. So, I wasn’t a failure in other people’s eyes, only in my own.
With my new goal, starting in January 2009, I was going to try something different. I was going to tell people; anyone and everyone who would listen, and see what happened. I firmly believe this made all the difference. Sure, I did all the work and made all the decisions to help myself along the way, to get where I wanted to be. However, I don’t think I could have done it without that sense of accountability to others. The desire to be proud of myself in front of them; to update them on my progress; to get their suggestions on how to make it work. Opening myself up to their ideas was an incredibly unexpected and wonderful surprise. I had people in my corner, rooting for me, giving me suggestions, how to make my goal a reality. How could I fail with so much positive energy pushing me forward? Well, I couldn’t.
In January 2009, I set a goal to lose some weight. I wanted to lose 20 pounds by the end of the year, and I did it. I made my private goal, drawing attention to something somewhat embarrassing, public knowledge. I joined a “Biggest Loser” competition in my local community. I joined Weight Watchers at work. I told my colleagues, my husband, my kids, my extended family. I put mini-updates on Facebook. I listened to those in my social and business circles offer tips on what worked for them, healthy snacks, and easy recipes. Encouragement and praise were offered frequently, and greatly appreciated. There’s nothing like someone telling you how great you’re looking to get you motivated to work out in the wee hours of the morning before anyone else in the house is awake. Each success propelled me to the next milestone. I had so much momentum from everyone sending their “positive energy” in my direction, there was literally no way I could fail. And I didn’t.
Two years later, I’m still at my goal weight and contemplating setting that next tier. Could I do 10 more pounds by the end of this year? If I decide to go for it, I know it will be another group effort.
This is the philosophy my husband and I have started to follow in another area of our life. We decided over a year ago about some major goals for our family. We made a list of them and posted them on our bathroom wall. Even the kids can read the goals and have certainly started spreading the news to their friends. We’ve shared most of them with our family and have already accomplished a few of them. One of them is really big, however, and will most certainly take the support of everyone around us. It may also impact my husband’s career. I’ve suggested to him that he take some time to figure out what his career goals really are. What’s important to him? What is he passionate about? What will wake him up each morning excited to go to work? What will he be proud to accomplish at work? Once he has those answers, I want to share them with everyone we know. If those around us know what we are looking for, then we have just multiplied the number of people looking for the right opportunity for him. How much more powerful is a career/job search when you have 25 people looking out for you instead of just yourself whenever you find 30 minutes in your day? How many more people are in your network when you have 25 people listening for the opportunities around them with the people they know?
So, once you set your goals, whether they are personal or professional, do not keep them secret. Tell your partner, tell your kids, tell your manager, tell your colleagues. When was the last time someone shared a goal with you that you did not immediately go out and try to find a solution for that person? Harness that power and point it in the direction you want to go. You’ll find yourself smiling and saying thanks a lot sooner than if you kept it a secret. I promise you.