(no subject)

[hopeforvam666]

have you ever wished that you had someone to pour your heart out to? Someone who will sit, listen and give their honest opinion, who will let you tell your whole life story if necessary. I do. I don't know where to start telling my fucked up life. most days I've wondered what it would be like if I was never born or what life after my extistence would be. Those thoughts seem almost constant now and it's beginning to scare me. I have no goals in my life. The collages I'm intrested in won't accept me because my grades are too low. I am caught in an endless battle with myself and I have nowhere to go. My mom has been on my case for no reason for three weeks now. She monitors everything I do, constantly interogating me. I feel like a prisoner in my own house. My room has become a brightly colored cell. The only time I can truely think is when she leaves me alone long enough for me to start painting or writing. Then she comes back and grabs my stories,last night it was a Vam fic, reads them and walks out, telling me I need to get over "those idiots" or something to that effect and I'm left back at square one. Whole page's been shredded. I'm slowly losing my fucking mind and I don't know what else to do. She hates my clothes, my music, my art, my writings, and most of all my friends. Personally, I don't know about you, but I love my music, and sometimes my art, witings, and friends. What I hate is her. I'm in a word of pity and hatred, and stuck in reverse in reality.

Coda
Razors pain you
Rivers are damp
Acids stain you and drugs cause cramp
Guns aren't law
Nooses give
Gas smells awful
You might as well live
-Dorothy Parker