rough week
Wow I can't believe its only Tuesday...its been such a horrble week so far. I decided to start taking my medications again for alittle while. I've been pretty moody and down the last two weeks at times and certainly now. Hopefully soon this will all be past and me all smiles like last week. I will always have suicial thoughts...I remember the dr. in the hospital saying that so clearly. I'll always have them and it is how you handle them that counts. Sometimes when I get so caught up in these thoughts I just try and seperate myself from whatever is bothering me. But theres usually someone here or even me, i know that i cant let my head tell me what to do. Well last night it turned into being woken up into the night 3 times to make a call and sit in the lobby with RAs...sigh. I wish he was here. From some reason I feel like I'd be stronger knowing he was hanging in there too. Everyone in thes world messes up. I have my share of regrets, I bet we all do. But the other thing we can do is accept them, change, and move on. The past is the past. What stays in the past needs to stay in the past. People from your past are there for a reason. See I can say all this but do I do it? Somedays..it depends on your heart. What I thought I wanted and needed probaly isnt gonna happen. I was wiling to try but I don't think I'm gonna get that chance. Sometimes I think I'm never gonna have any chances in life. Grrrr.....what am I saying. Im just trying to keep myself busying but he's pictures here as I stay at the phone....Wow Lifetime movie or what