theres nothing left..

[hopebegins2sink]

this is all i can do.

friday i had a pretty bad day..
which included a doctor visit and alot of tests being done.
all weekend included me doing pretty much nothing.
today was my grandma's birthday.
it was hell.
i felt bad for her.
all the boys decided to go and get lost in fucking jamestown.
worried everyone..x712647347.
made my stomach go all crazy.
now im fighting with someone i really care about.
wont get into that though.

and on top of everything..
having no life..
and being sick has caused me to think alot lately.
no one EVER calls me anymore.
it makes me feel like shit.
im never invited anywhere with my friends.
its like suddenly im not good enough..
or invisible or something.
i dont know what to do about it anymore.
no one ever tells me anything..
everyones always so secretive around me.
i feel left out.

all weekend all ive been doing is crying.
i think so much i make myself worse.
and it seems like no one even cares.

i have to move out of my dads this week.
and tomorrow i have to go get blood tests done..
see if theres anything else wrong with me..
im scared. i dont want there to be.