i hate my life.

[hope_tattoo]

i've been crying for an hour.
i've been on edge and bitchy all day..

i want to be settled here... i want to feel like this is home again.
i don't want to feel like this is a step backwards... or a failure. but i do.
i want life to be easy. i want to love myself.
i want someone to love me, and i want a boyfriend. a real one.
i don't want to keep disrespecting myself. i don't want to have to go get tested because i was drunk and let him fuck me with out a condom. i want to believe him when he says he's clean.
i want to be respected. i want to respect myself.
i want this emo to go away.