(no subject)
so, after escaping near death last night and being re-routed to I-5 because a RETARDED semi truck decided to get into my lane ... with me in it, my night went fairly smooth. got a little tipsy/DRUNK. it was super. jt was really nice to me. whenever we drink, even before we start, the atmosphere is different. we are just almost genuinly happy being around one another. we always have fun. yeah, jt was really nice to me last night. kissing my back, telling me nice things (and saying i was cute .. oh la la). it was just a super night, i'm really pleased with how it turned out. i was skeptical at first, because of how horrible this week has gone, but it was nice. i want more and more and more nice times. and the best part (maybe). lately, whenever we have sleepovers or hangout times, i leave or wake up sad. like, really sadly depressed, almost like "its a new day and good times aren't guarenteed for another day". but this morning, i woke up, and i wasn't sad. i was almost just hopeful. i was semi-happy. it was really nice not waking up sad. it would be nice being in those arms more often. he's really good at holding me all night. if we unlatch at any point, i always wake up to him scooting (how do you spell that??) me closer, or just touching me in some way. man jt, i really love you. i really want christmas festivities with you. i love you alot. love love love love love. i dont really care anymore about the fights and such. lets just compromise on things we hate and then we can love love love. lovelove. love. la la la love. hmmmmm.
p.s. mom and dad took my bro and i to the mall and dropped the ball that christmas was coming early. they bought me a big lens and filters for my camera, and my bro just got done bidding on a wakeboard on ebay. super duper. bad news, dad woke me up this morning and may have seen the 2 bottles of alcohol on my floor. oops.