(no subject)

[hope_is_dying]

for a split second, i forgot my dad sprayed cleaner in the shower. i knew the whole time i was undressing, going potty. i knew. but just that split second that i put my first foot in, i forgot. falling was a complete blur. i have no idea what i hit my leg on. there is a giant rock hard bump on my shin. my head. my head slammed into the slanted part of the tub, hard. VERY HARD. i was out for a few seconds. the first couple of seconds after waking up, i wish i hadn't. i wish i'd just laid there. then i heard my dad yelling at me. making sure i was ok, which i kept saying yes, but bawling my eyes out. it hurt so bad. but he was like yelling at me. like pissed off at me for falling. for not remembering is would be slick. i wish my mom was home. she'd probably take me to the doctor. i probably need to go to the doctor. my insides hurt. the back of my throat has a giant lump in it. i want to vomit. my shin really hurts. i wish i'd just laid there. not woken up. i don't feel good right now. my hands are shaking. i am so mad.

now i know why you were ignoring me last night. now i know why your phone "died". i hope she makes you happy, and then tears you apart. i hope she treats you like shit, like how you deserve to be treated. for your fucking sake, i wish i wouldn't have gotten up this morning.