somehow - here is gone
it's been so long since ive written in here. i just feel like everything in my life has totally changed since my last entry - which was in reference to alex, after he told me he wanted to break up for the summer. which, somehow, coincidentally, happened. i'm not even sure how anymore.
so people have left, people are leaving, I'M LEAVING. its all too soon, too fast, im not ready for what's waiting for me.
to some extent, we are defined by the people we surround ourselves with. what exactly happens when all the people you've been defining yourself by for so many years are just gone? i think thats the hardest part - not even the obvious fact that you're away from the people that know you best, but you're suddenly stripped of everyone and everything that has defined you for the majority of your life. once in a new place, you're completely alone and you are just yourself - everything that made you who you are is gone. i think it's a vulnerable place to be in - bewildering almost at first. i think this may be the hardest part.
if only i could tell you how many hours in the past few days that i have spent listening to sad music and the rain, and writing or reading or thinking. ive got to say, this weather is very appropriate for everything going on, at least, for me.
so people have left, people are leaving, I'M LEAVING. its all too soon, too fast, im not ready for what's waiting for me.
to some extent, we are defined by the people we surround ourselves with. what exactly happens when all the people you've been defining yourself by for so many years are just gone? i think thats the hardest part - not even the obvious fact that you're away from the people that know you best, but you're suddenly stripped of everyone and everything that has defined you for the majority of your life. once in a new place, you're completely alone and you are just yourself - everything that made you who you are is gone. i think it's a vulnerable place to be in - bewildering almost at first. i think this may be the hardest part.
if only i could tell you how many hours in the past few days that i have spent listening to sad music and the rain, and writing or reading or thinking. ive got to say, this weather is very appropriate for everything going on, at least, for me.