recently.....
yeah i barely ever write in here anymore. things have been beyond fucked up and i just want everything to work out finally. I need a car so bad, this whole car situation sucks ass. I got a car in december and now i don't have one anymore. thanks to the dumb bitch driving her fucking piece of shit dodge durrango in the starbucks parking lot, i don't own a car right now. I'm only allowed to have a honda, nissian, toyota and i'm working with $2294 from the insurance company and my dad is borrowing about a thousand for me to be able to get something reliable and will last. It's really hard to look for a car when you don't have one and all your friends work. it's pretty hard. i've called about numerous hondas but i don't have a ride over to that side of town. i need a car, i'm so getting sick of asking people to drive me places nad if i can borrow their car. plus i hate being stuck at the house. I smoke a lot of pot when i'm stuck at home, well that's not true i'd smoke jsut as much being out. scratch that. i started hanging out with this guy again that will remain unnamed, not really sure it's a good idea but i'm jsut going to see what happens, it's not like things are working with Chris. Chris is being an asshole again as usual, completly not talking to me and avoiding everything. plus how can i believe someone telling me they care so much about me and they still haven't come to visit me in jacksonville and i've lived here for almost a year and a half. whatever, i'm not wasting my time waiting around for someone to figure themselves out. I've had so many life changing things happen within the past year and a half. everything from my major to my outlook on life and just who i am. i know that sounds really dumb and strange but unless you know exactly what i've been through the past year and a half is the only way you'll understand. I have been through so much in my entire life but the past year and a half has been so difficult with everything and i've managed to keep my sanity somehow, it reminds me of the quote who i still can't find out who said or wrote it but it goes like this; "Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do but hold it together when everyone would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."
That right there has been keeping me going when i really need it. I know i've almsot lost it quite a few times this past year especially since august. I did however realize during this time that i have some of the greatest people as friends. They have stood by me and never blinked when i needed help. I mean who can say that their bosses are two of their closest friends? They gave me a job when i needed one and now i can say that i get to take part in something that is so amazing and there is nothing like it anywhere in the world. There could never be another boomtown. I'm part of something jacksonville doesn't have much of, a place for people showcasing their talents whether it be acting, painting, photography, singing, writing, poetry and all without censorship. Boomtown is really something i think everyone needs to be exposed to at some point in time in their life. I've seen some of the most talented people in jacksonville perform at boomtown and some of them perform on a regular basis there. I love the fact that i help that place run. i may jsut be the hostess with the mostess (as stephen and john call me), the person they hired to beat people up, but i'm part of one of the most amazing places in town as well as the number one place to get really good food.
i know i'm totally blabbing on abotu shit. i'll stop soon i promise.
I have some truely amazing people in my life. I'm really happy i came to jacksonville instead of going to high point. It would never have lead me to boomtown, it would never have let me meet these amazing people that have become such important figures in my life. i couldn't live without my crew.
Anyway i'll shut up now but first i have one more thing to say. I'm so sad that the exchange students are leaving in less than 2 months. Valentin and Alar have become so normal in my life and them not being there will be so sad. They have really experienced something wonderful during their time here. PLus how many people can say they moved a resturant, a theater and two HUGE packrats things in 8 days and then put the resturant back together within a few months. They would never have had a chance to do the things we did with them with normal host parents/families. They got to hang out and meet lots of interesting people and basically do whatever they wanted. it's strange that they are leaving so soon, it feels like they just got here a few months ago. i don't want new ones, i like hanging out and dancing like crazy fools with them and staying out to all hours of the nite. They really are so much fun to hang out with, hopefulyl they will come back to visit. but there is one thing i know, i will always have a place to stay if i'm ever in Romania or Estonia. i'll stop blabbing on about stupid shit now, i doubt anyone reads this shit anymore anyway. i'm going to smoke a cigarette. till my next random late nite post. toodles!
That right there has been keeping me going when i really need it. I know i've almsot lost it quite a few times this past year especially since august. I did however realize during this time that i have some of the greatest people as friends. They have stood by me and never blinked when i needed help. I mean who can say that their bosses are two of their closest friends? They gave me a job when i needed one and now i can say that i get to take part in something that is so amazing and there is nothing like it anywhere in the world. There could never be another boomtown. I'm part of something jacksonville doesn't have much of, a place for people showcasing their talents whether it be acting, painting, photography, singing, writing, poetry and all without censorship. Boomtown is really something i think everyone needs to be exposed to at some point in time in their life. I've seen some of the most talented people in jacksonville perform at boomtown and some of them perform on a regular basis there. I love the fact that i help that place run. i may jsut be the hostess with the mostess (as stephen and john call me), the person they hired to beat people up, but i'm part of one of the most amazing places in town as well as the number one place to get really good food.
i know i'm totally blabbing on abotu shit. i'll stop soon i promise.
I have some truely amazing people in my life. I'm really happy i came to jacksonville instead of going to high point. It would never have lead me to boomtown, it would never have let me meet these amazing people that have become such important figures in my life. i couldn't live without my crew.
Anyway i'll shut up now but first i have one more thing to say. I'm so sad that the exchange students are leaving in less than 2 months. Valentin and Alar have become so normal in my life and them not being there will be so sad. They have really experienced something wonderful during their time here. PLus how many people can say they moved a resturant, a theater and two HUGE packrats things in 8 days and then put the resturant back together within a few months. They would never have had a chance to do the things we did with them with normal host parents/families. They got to hang out and meet lots of interesting people and basically do whatever they wanted. it's strange that they are leaving so soon, it feels like they just got here a few months ago. i don't want new ones, i like hanging out and dancing like crazy fools with them and staying out to all hours of the nite. They really are so much fun to hang out with, hopefulyl they will come back to visit. but there is one thing i know, i will always have a place to stay if i'm ever in Romania or Estonia. i'll stop blabbing on about stupid shit now, i doubt anyone reads this shit anymore anyway. i'm going to smoke a cigarette. till my next random late nite post. toodles!