i'm going to lose my mind.....
Anyway, right now Mike's mom Karla is pressure washing the porch and the driveway, not to mention she has moved my and Geli's things in the garage without my permission. But hey i'm not getting into it with her. She also tried to tell Mike and Heather that if i wasn't going to school they needed to kick me out of the house. Heather said to me i was invited to stay, she on the other hand wasn't. I'm just getting slightly annoyed with her. Heather Mike and Delia went to visit family in virginia this weekend and ever since they left Karla has been on a rampage to clean the house and all sort of stuff. I am ready to kill her. But besides that, life has been treating me well somewhat.
My trip to NY:
Well the 60 degree drop in two and a half hours was so not cool but seeing my sister and friends made it more enjoyable. I got to see Chris and spend time with him which was amazing. He should be here in jax at some point soon cuz he promised and well he's a moron for not realizing this weekend was a 3 day weekend cuz then he would have come down. Anyway Christmas was nice, seeing all my girlies from the gym was ncie too. Although some of them weren't really talking to me much when i was there, mainly Shannon and Jess. I miss all those girls to death but i'm moving on with my life and that's what needed to be done. I got to go have chai tea with nicole and that was great because we had gotten pretty close over the time of her being a gymnast and her coahcing with me or at least that's what i percieved. Seeing Laurie was awesome too, my bestest friend besides my sister. We had a blast together. Although my stay was short and sweet it would have been nice to spend more time with people. There was so many people i didn't get to see when i was there but then again i was only in town for like 16 days. Although my mother expected me to spend the entire time i was home in my room packing it up since they are moving into my room since well i'm not there very much and they are getting old so they can't go up and down those stairs anymore, plus it's cold in the attic. So that's my new room or at least half of it is. It's going to interesting when i go home, but i don't think my parents thought about that part much. I get in late and stay up late but whatever. I get a skylight in my room. The set up will just have to be taken care of when i go home next. which will probably be around the time of my sisters wedding in october. I hung out with the old gang (corinne, sarah, zanzia, tina) which was awkward and strange. but it was very nice to see all of them. I still don't really know if i want them part of my life anymore. but people change and i was friends with them from the time i was 7 years old till about 20 years old i was almost 21 actually. That's a long time but i'm in a different place in my life then they all are. Besides that seeing everyone was great. I wish i had been able to see more people then i did. I missed seeing Danna, Kevin, nick, and mike amoung others. I really wanted to see Mike and Nick though. Mike has been around forever nad we never stopped being friends plus i used to go and get fucked up in mike's house all the time plus when my paretns would fight i was always welcome there so i didn't have to hear it. Anyway the short trip home for hte first time in a year was nice, shorter then i wanted but everyone can always come to jax to see me,the weather is so much better and there is more to do here. On the way back to jax, i ran into Kortland at the atlanta airport and we had the same connecting flight back so mike picked us up and i then drove him to boomtown but it was awesome to find him there.
New years: was insane, we had crazy amounts of fireworks and everyone got drunk except me of course. Jim brought over his home made vaporizor which was a plus. Bobbit kept singing one more weed bag for like an hour or more, and was trying to convince everyone that he wasn't actually smoking weed since he didn't light it which is bullshit but let him think what he wants, he still smoked weed. We had a blast but it sucked that chris wasn't here, i wish he had come back with me. I didn't have anyone to kiss at midnite but that's ok, i haven't in the past 5 years so it's ok. I did realize that Chris and i have only spent one new years together since we've been together 00-01. That's pretty sad but i'm sure there will be more new years to come.
As of right now, school will be starting in february since fccj is being a fucker. i'm hoping to go back to UNF in the summer semester which the college of arts and science will not take me in, they say i can finish up my prerequisites in the college of health and then change into the college of arts and sciences majoring in photography. So that should be alright. jsut getting a hold of people at that school is a bitch but it is at any school. I guess at fccj it's pretty easy to do so since my aunt kathy is the dean at the downtown campus. it has it's perks but she doesn't do much for me anyway. My boy situation is fine now, i've realized how much i love chris and that well he's worth the wait ten fold. Just being away from each other is really hard for both of us, even though we aren't officially together but hey we've stayed with each other this long i mean come one 6 years and we were only officially together for 2 of them. But we waited for each other and that's what it came down to. Seeing him when i was home for the first time in a year really made both of us realize what we feel for one another, plus he's said he's got something none of his friends have, me. and i can't tell you how that made me feel, i'm sure you just know if you're a girl. I get lonely and that's when i look at other guys and well they are jsut a waste of my time. Brennan is a sweet guy but he can't commit to anything, he's one of the most amazing musicians i've ever met but i still have some hard feeling towards him for what he did. I'm sure we'll talk at some point but i don't want anything to do with him romantically again. Although i'm sure he'll try. but i can't see why i even though abotu dating a 20 year old, my stupidity in the first place. i gave him the benefit of the doubt and more chances then i should have but he really fucked up and to me if you can't keep plans with someone, don't make them, don't tell someone you will call them back when you won't. I'm sure i'll say all these things to him when i see him. All i know is that he keeps asking abotu me but won't call me. does that make any sense? no. he lost his chance but i'm still willing to be friends with him since well he's always fun to be around. he did ask Geli is i was made at him, and then said if i was her i'd mad at me, and that he did want to call me but he doens't think i'll talk to him. Typical male, especially the immature kind which most of them are. i ahte to say it but they are. Anyway i've got to go smoke a cigarette and enjoy the day before Karla makes me do more stuff around the house. She's fucking crazy! but whatever i'll just get baked and block her out.
My trip to NY:
Well the 60 degree drop in two and a half hours was so not cool but seeing my sister and friends made it more enjoyable. I got to see Chris and spend time with him which was amazing. He should be here in jax at some point soon cuz he promised and well he's a moron for not realizing this weekend was a 3 day weekend cuz then he would have come down. Anyway Christmas was nice, seeing all my girlies from the gym was ncie too. Although some of them weren't really talking to me much when i was there, mainly Shannon and Jess. I miss all those girls to death but i'm moving on with my life and that's what needed to be done. I got to go have chai tea with nicole and that was great because we had gotten pretty close over the time of her being a gymnast and her coahcing with me or at least that's what i percieved. Seeing Laurie was awesome too, my bestest friend besides my sister. We had a blast together. Although my stay was short and sweet it would have been nice to spend more time with people. There was so many people i didn't get to see when i was there but then again i was only in town for like 16 days. Although my mother expected me to spend the entire time i was home in my room packing it up since they are moving into my room since well i'm not there very much and they are getting old so they can't go up and down those stairs anymore, plus it's cold in the attic. So that's my new room or at least half of it is. It's going to interesting when i go home, but i don't think my parents thought about that part much. I get in late and stay up late but whatever. I get a skylight in my room. The set up will just have to be taken care of when i go home next. which will probably be around the time of my sisters wedding in october. I hung out with the old gang (corinne, sarah, zanzia, tina) which was awkward and strange. but it was very nice to see all of them. I still don't really know if i want them part of my life anymore. but people change and i was friends with them from the time i was 7 years old till about 20 years old i was almost 21 actually. That's a long time but i'm in a different place in my life then they all are. Besides that seeing everyone was great. I wish i had been able to see more people then i did. I missed seeing Danna, Kevin, nick, and mike amoung others. I really wanted to see Mike and Nick though. Mike has been around forever nad we never stopped being friends plus i used to go and get fucked up in mike's house all the time plus when my paretns would fight i was always welcome there so i didn't have to hear it. Anyway the short trip home for hte first time in a year was nice, shorter then i wanted but everyone can always come to jax to see me,the weather is so much better and there is more to do here. On the way back to jax, i ran into Kortland at the atlanta airport and we had the same connecting flight back so mike picked us up and i then drove him to boomtown but it was awesome to find him there.
New years: was insane, we had crazy amounts of fireworks and everyone got drunk except me of course. Jim brought over his home made vaporizor which was a plus. Bobbit kept singing one more weed bag for like an hour or more, and was trying to convince everyone that he wasn't actually smoking weed since he didn't light it which is bullshit but let him think what he wants, he still smoked weed. We had a blast but it sucked that chris wasn't here, i wish he had come back with me. I didn't have anyone to kiss at midnite but that's ok, i haven't in the past 5 years so it's ok. I did realize that Chris and i have only spent one new years together since we've been together 00-01. That's pretty sad but i'm sure there will be more new years to come.
As of right now, school will be starting in february since fccj is being a fucker. i'm hoping to go back to UNF in the summer semester which the college of arts and science will not take me in, they say i can finish up my prerequisites in the college of health and then change into the college of arts and sciences majoring in photography. So that should be alright. jsut getting a hold of people at that school is a bitch but it is at any school. I guess at fccj it's pretty easy to do so since my aunt kathy is the dean at the downtown campus. it has it's perks but she doesn't do much for me anyway. My boy situation is fine now, i've realized how much i love chris and that well he's worth the wait ten fold. Just being away from each other is really hard for both of us, even though we aren't officially together but hey we've stayed with each other this long i mean come one 6 years and we were only officially together for 2 of them. But we waited for each other and that's what it came down to. Seeing him when i was home for the first time in a year really made both of us realize what we feel for one another, plus he's said he's got something none of his friends have, me. and i can't tell you how that made me feel, i'm sure you just know if you're a girl. I get lonely and that's when i look at other guys and well they are jsut a waste of my time. Brennan is a sweet guy but he can't commit to anything, he's one of the most amazing musicians i've ever met but i still have some hard feeling towards him for what he did. I'm sure we'll talk at some point but i don't want anything to do with him romantically again. Although i'm sure he'll try. but i can't see why i even though abotu dating a 20 year old, my stupidity in the first place. i gave him the benefit of the doubt and more chances then i should have but he really fucked up and to me if you can't keep plans with someone, don't make them, don't tell someone you will call them back when you won't. I'm sure i'll say all these things to him when i see him. All i know is that he keeps asking abotu me but won't call me. does that make any sense? no. he lost his chance but i'm still willing to be friends with him since well he's always fun to be around. he did ask Geli is i was made at him, and then said if i was her i'd mad at me, and that he did want to call me but he doens't think i'll talk to him. Typical male, especially the immature kind which most of them are. i ahte to say it but they are. Anyway i've got to go smoke a cigarette and enjoy the day before Karla makes me do more stuff around the house. She's fucking crazy! but whatever i'll just get baked and block her out.