(no subject)
trying to please everyone at the same time does not work.
trying to be a good friend to everyone backfires.
somehow i end up becoming the one who disrupts everything,
the one that never belonged in the first place but tried oh, so hard to.
i can't make myself happy, i can't make others happy.
NOBODY IS REAL. i'm not real.
it will always be highschool, so GET THE FUCK OVER IT.
it doesn't matter how old we get, we'll always be fucking shit up.
and god knows i have been doing just that left and right lately.
i'm tired of getting my own hopes up, about life, about people, about myself,
and how i believe these things should be but never will be.
i'm falling back into old habits. or maybe it's just been the same habit this whole time.
the habit of sacrificing more and more of myself until finally, nothing is left.
i wish i could just STOP. it should be that easy.
trying to be a good friend to everyone backfires.
somehow i end up becoming the one who disrupts everything,
the one that never belonged in the first place but tried oh, so hard to.
i can't make myself happy, i can't make others happy.
NOBODY IS REAL. i'm not real.
it will always be highschool, so GET THE FUCK OVER IT.
it doesn't matter how old we get, we'll always be fucking shit up.
and god knows i have been doing just that left and right lately.
i'm tired of getting my own hopes up, about life, about people, about myself,
and how i believe these things should be but never will be.
i'm falling back into old habits. or maybe it's just been the same habit this whole time.
the habit of sacrificing more and more of myself until finally, nothing is left.
i wish i could just STOP. it should be that easy.