Wherein Hope has her first panic attack:
So lots of job nonsense going on. It got to the point where I started exhibiting a lot of concerning somatic anxiety issues, such as loss of appetite, heart palpitations, early wakening (waking up an a hour early than you normally do with chest pain and anxiety, a major sign of depression), crying uncontrollably, sleep problems and I had my first panic attack. I woke up in the middle of the night with chest pain and heart palpitations babbling about work and totally freaked out.
The job hunt has been going pretty well actually, I’ve had interviews for the last 4 days in a row, with two more coming up, and I have two unofficial job offers at the table that I’m waiting to clear through to black hole that is HR (they’ve both been sitting there for a couple weeks with little progress, blech). So I think I’m going to give official notice tomorrow. I have a meeting scheduled with the head doctor, they know I’m looking, they already hired my replacement and I have enough money to float for about 8 weeks before I have to get really worried.
Tuan wants me to wait till I get an official signed offer in hand but I think mentally I really need to start a count down. I went to a therapist on Monday night to try and see if we could work on my anxiety level, because in general its been really high for the past year or so, and between school, work and wedding stuff I’m going to have not shortage of things to freak out about…. and I really don’t want that. I’m 25 engaged to a lovely man with great friends, a good academic record and marketable job skills. I need to enjoy my life.
I’m also considering getting a tattoo. I’ve always wanted something on my back and I think I’ve hit upon and idea that I could live with. When I was super stressed about work I threw the Ching and got this: http://deoxy.org/iching/3
So I’m considering getting a small version of that symbol with a little blade of grass on top. Small, simple, meaningful and I will add more ching symbols as time goes on.
The job hunt has been going pretty well actually, I’ve had interviews for the last 4 days in a row, with two more coming up, and I have two unofficial job offers at the table that I’m waiting to clear through to black hole that is HR (they’ve both been sitting there for a couple weeks with little progress, blech). So I think I’m going to give official notice tomorrow. I have a meeting scheduled with the head doctor, they know I’m looking, they already hired my replacement and I have enough money to float for about 8 weeks before I have to get really worried.
Tuan wants me to wait till I get an official signed offer in hand but I think mentally I really need to start a count down. I went to a therapist on Monday night to try and see if we could work on my anxiety level, because in general its been really high for the past year or so, and between school, work and wedding stuff I’m going to have not shortage of things to freak out about…. and I really don’t want that. I’m 25 engaged to a lovely man with great friends, a good academic record and marketable job skills. I need to enjoy my life.
I’m also considering getting a tattoo. I’ve always wanted something on my back and I think I’ve hit upon and idea that I could live with. When I was super stressed about work I threw the Ching and got this: http://deoxy.org/iching/3
So I’m considering getting a small version of that symbol with a little blade of grass on top. Small, simple, meaningful and I will add more ching symbols as time goes on.