you know you want it
guess who is selling these? it rhymes with "dimwit."
and also . . .
i want the one on the far left. this is like the skipper doll of the pullip world.
also, long overdue thoughts on superman returns and one man star wars.
first, i will say that i have never liked superman. i'm just not a superman kind of girl. i like batman. much like uptown and downtown, designer/thrift store, frank sinatra and stevie wonder, batman/superman is one of those pairs which inspire fervent loyalties and lines drawn in the sand. however, the division between them is deceptive, because at times they work together in wondrous harmony, just as rich uptown and downtown new yorkers occasionally join forces to host a benefit for some vaguely avant garde dance event, or as vogue will sporadically proclaim that it is okay to combine your louis with your perfectly beat up vintage jeans. i won't get into frank sinatra and stevie wonder. okay, so usually it seems like batman is antagonizing or otherwise bothering superman rather than being his buddy, but whatever. the point is, they CAN be a team, but most of the time they are polar opposites. superman=alien with superpowers. batman=a rich dude with only the powers that ninja training can endow. i realize i am overstating the case here, but i want to make my dislike for superman clear. i don't like superman because he is just TOO POWERFUL. sure, there's the kryptonite thing, but honestly superman has been given just about every power you can imagine at some point in his history. batman has to work at it. i appreciate that.
onto the movie! let's start with the banal. i enjoyed myself, though i found it too long and essentially plotless. (also, hankshiny fell asleep.) the kid who played superman was pretty good, though i liked him a lot better as clark kent. dorky men with glasses are hawt. kevin spacey was a great lex luthor. i hated parker posey, but i hate her almost all of the time, so that was no surprise. her appearance in the movie at least explains her hair in the last episode of the first season of project runway. kumar got no screen time, but i guess i should have expected that. boy, i'm bad at explaining movies. this is why i never post in artofvision. if they outlaw the word awesome, then i guess i'm shit out of luck. ANYWAY. here is a list of what i DIDN'T like.
1. kate bosworth. i'm glad that lois didn't leave her bf and go back to superman, because she's supposed to be loyal and honorable, but i hated the bitchiness that bosworth injected into her scenes. she also had the worst line of the movie ("i forgot how warm you are"), which is a worthy runner up to hayden christensen's line in attack of the clones ("I don't like the sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating--not like you. You're soft and smooth.").
2. the fact that lois had a son who turned out to be the spawn of superman, THUS IMPLYING THAT THEY HAD SEX. mmmhhmmph. i don't believe that superman and lois lane ever got it on. their whole relationship is about unconsummated, doomed love. also, superman is an ALIEN. yet he can impregnate a human?
(yes, i realize that there are plenty of other implausible things in the world of superheroes that i could take on, but being a [former] biologist, i am sensitive to genetic issues.)
3. the jesus thing. WE GET IT, BRYAN SINGER. please do not hammer the last fucking nail in the fucking metaphorical cross that superman is being crucified upon.
i would have been fine with some jesus commentary, since it's a pretty obvious angle to use. however, there is such a thing as subtlety.
speaking of jesus, it's nice to know that mel gibson is out of the anti-semite closet. gawker (http://www.gawker.com/news/us-weekly/getting-to-know-the-us-weekly-demographic-190966.php) posts some of the more interesting comments people have made about mr. gibson and those damn jews.
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now, to business. by which i mean STAR WARS! ONE MAN star wars, no less. and no more, as hankshiny and i found out on sunday. it really is just one guy running all around the stage and imitating the actors and making chewie noises. in short, it's a ten-year-old boy's dream, but jonah and i are in constant contact with our inner little boys, so that poses no problem. charles ross is at least gifted with manic levels of energy and the ability to produce fair imitations of alec guinness and mark hamill (although not james earl jones, sadly). basically he quotes the most famous lines and occasionally interjects a comment of his own ("no, it's not like that. luke's my . . . brother." [pause] "then why are you always kissing him?" et al.), and also flops on the floor and dies (to the great delight of the ACTUAL ten-year-old boys in the audience, or the 30-year-olds who came with their mothers). it was FUN, no more and no less.
and, when we came out to the lobby, there was a large woman dressed as a stormtrooper (the kind wearing a cape . . . do any of you know what i'm talking about? probably not. oh well), several more classic stormtroopers, and one of those guys who basically are wearing the darth vader helmet, but without the face mask thing. they have a specific name, but i can't remember it anymore. blast! oh, and darth vader was there. i still don't know if lucasfilm sent them or if they were amateurs. it's hard to tell these days, what with the professional armor those fans make.
caroline's mom is visiting and staying in our apartment, which is weird because usually parents stay in hotels and stuff. we had to give up our pigly ways and clean a little. also, she came to my room to chat with us, and sat on my floor, and i felt really embarrassed because i am a sloth and have not a single chair in my room. the only place to sit is on my futon, but that also seems like a weird seat to offer to a parent. you see, i cling to the desperate belief that i still have "cred" or some such thing, as long as i sleep on the floor. well, and i can't afford a real mattress, either. i'm a yuppie, but i have yet to reap any rewards from it, other than a company that will occasionally pay for my drinks. I SOLD OUT FOR NOTHING.