meh
been a while eh? somebody sent me a message and asked me to update the other day... but yeah... i have no idea who. I'm exhausted. Wednesdays are my busiest day of the week. Like... I have my 7 am class... then I practice for an hour and a half... then I have another 75 minute class... then I have my hour lesson... then I have another hour class... then I have 2 hours of orchestra. And then I come home. Yeah... I'm on campus for 8 hours. ew! I love it here though. Like... I can't stand the town... but I love my friends and meeting new people and having people to hang out with and guys to flirt with. There was one guy Brandon who I kind of liked... but quickly realized that he was way way way to femme/metro sexual for me and that I really didn't like him at all. That was a big dramatic saga for a few days. And then there is Ryan. He is the cutest boy in the world! So nice and fun and cute and just an awesome guy. He's never had a girlfriend and has only kissed one girl. He is just such a sweet guy... but yeah... totally not into me. sad huh?! Like... I'm pretty up front and forward when I like a guy and he's just so shy when it comes to girls... so I don't think the two of us will be meshing. But he's fun to hang out with. It's fun to have a crush on a guy again. It's always exciting when he calls and texts and when I run into him at the gym. BTW... he's hot and buff! ;) This is the summer of no boyfriends. Whenever a new semester starts I always screw myself into the ground because I date a guy right at the beginning and end up falling way harder than necessary... and I spend the rest of my semester trying to move on. Too much is happening this summer.
The Nate update. Things with Nate are on the most unsolid ground possible. I have absolutely NO idea what is going to happen with him. Jacey and I were talking about him the other day and in like mid conversation she just started laughing at me and was like... "You light up when you talk about him!" It's true. I get so so happy when I think and talk about Nate. It just worked at the time. We were perfect for eachother... even if just for those few months. And if that's what I remember of him for the rest of my life, then that's ok. I have no bad memories of Nate. He's an incredible guy and an amazing missionary, who never once hurt my feelings or upset me. He was genuine and caring and only ever made me happy. I have no memories of a heart breaking split with him and only think the best. He comes home in 2 months. Pretty much exactly. Maybe less, depending on transfer day. I'm still trying to figure out my game plan for that part of the summer. I'll for sure be in Rexburg. BUT... I think I might fly home for a weekend in early august. oh gosh... I don't know. I don't know if I want to see him right when he gets home. I think we need more than like... 2 days together. But that's never gonna happen with me in Idaho and him in MN and Utah. Do I even want to see if there is anything there? Maybe it would just be better for me to avoid the whole thing all together and just have fond memories of him. booo. I get so confused over it all.
I'm confused over a lot of things right now. holy cow... what else is new right?!?! I'm always confused about something. Last summer it was a mission. The mission question is still festering inside me... although I think I'm leaning more towards no. As gay as it sounds... I wanna get married in the next two years and start my family... I don't wanna wait like 5 more years. That would make me so sad. Anyway... I'm just confused period. Lately my biggest stupor of thought (and I haven't prayed about it much yet, so that is why it is still a stupor of thought) is where I'm gonna live 2nd block and in the fall. Some girls in my ward who I really like a lot and have a lot of fun with want me to move in with them. It's very tempting... and I'm still working on my decision. I think it would be really fun to start fresh with all new roommates that I've never lived with before... and these are really great girls. WHO KNOWS?!?!?! I'll decide sometime soon. I have to decide sometime soon.
I'm going to Provo this weekend. I'm excited for that. I'm excited to spend time with Lindsey and Audrey and especially my family!!! My adorable nieces and nephews and my sisters and brothers. I love my family... and right now... I'm just in major need of family time!
goodnight ya'll!
The Nate update. Things with Nate are on the most unsolid ground possible. I have absolutely NO idea what is going to happen with him. Jacey and I were talking about him the other day and in like mid conversation she just started laughing at me and was like... "You light up when you talk about him!" It's true. I get so so happy when I think and talk about Nate. It just worked at the time. We were perfect for eachother... even if just for those few months. And if that's what I remember of him for the rest of my life, then that's ok. I have no bad memories of Nate. He's an incredible guy and an amazing missionary, who never once hurt my feelings or upset me. He was genuine and caring and only ever made me happy. I have no memories of a heart breaking split with him and only think the best. He comes home in 2 months. Pretty much exactly. Maybe less, depending on transfer day. I'm still trying to figure out my game plan for that part of the summer. I'll for sure be in Rexburg. BUT... I think I might fly home for a weekend in early august. oh gosh... I don't know. I don't know if I want to see him right when he gets home. I think we need more than like... 2 days together. But that's never gonna happen with me in Idaho and him in MN and Utah. Do I even want to see if there is anything there? Maybe it would just be better for me to avoid the whole thing all together and just have fond memories of him. booo. I get so confused over it all.
I'm confused over a lot of things right now. holy cow... what else is new right?!?! I'm always confused about something. Last summer it was a mission. The mission question is still festering inside me... although I think I'm leaning more towards no. As gay as it sounds... I wanna get married in the next two years and start my family... I don't wanna wait like 5 more years. That would make me so sad. Anyway... I'm just confused period. Lately my biggest stupor of thought (and I haven't prayed about it much yet, so that is why it is still a stupor of thought) is where I'm gonna live 2nd block and in the fall. Some girls in my ward who I really like a lot and have a lot of fun with want me to move in with them. It's very tempting... and I'm still working on my decision. I think it would be really fun to start fresh with all new roommates that I've never lived with before... and these are really great girls. WHO KNOWS?!?!?! I'll decide sometime soon. I have to decide sometime soon.
I'm going to Provo this weekend. I'm excited for that. I'm excited to spend time with Lindsey and Audrey and especially my family!!! My adorable nieces and nephews and my sisters and brothers. I love my family... and right now... I'm just in major need of family time!
goodnight ya'll!