Sorryhad to write it down, just a rant on nothing....
I hate staying up late, specially when I am here in brandon, for there is nothing to do cept sit here in my bed and think, when I start thinking that gets me goin and there is just no stopping that.
So I was with the neighbots/col-de-sac group which was like 5 or 6 pairs of adults tonight. I seem to have become assimilated into the adults group over the past two years so I end up talking to them as adults and share in their stories (some quite interesting) and everyonce in a while one will take me aside and ask how everything is.
Well that happened twice tonight, the first time was about classes. Kelsey's mother was making me feel pretty guilty about my grades and my study habits. And I realize, how I have many times before, that it is definatly time for change. I need to buckle down so bad it is rediculous. It is time. I know this is two weeks before the end of my first year but I hope that I can do this and keep it up. I need to get better grade becuase I should be getting them and all it would take would be minimal work. I know the reason I am the way I am though. Which brings me to the next conversation I had.
Mrs. Farmer and I talked about life and what I am looking forward too and I realized, once again, as many times before, that I have no idea what is in store for me. She tried to make me feel better by saying that she doesnt even know what she wants to do, which I believe since I know a few older ppl who are still wandering, but I just dont know and it gets to ya. Most ppl know I am one that needs to know, I hate being out of the loop, so considering that this is only something I can figure out makes it all the worse.
For the most part I love who I am, I love that I am a great friend to the friends I have, or at least I hope I am. There are a few things I would change and the only thing is is that these things are kinda big, but I am not worried for I have faiththat they will all work out in the end. I just wish I knew where this was all going. Wish I knew what to do educationally or career wise. I guess the face of my future is masked for the time being but hey I can dream cant I?
So I was with the neighbots/col-de-sac group which was like 5 or 6 pairs of adults tonight. I seem to have become assimilated into the adults group over the past two years so I end up talking to them as adults and share in their stories (some quite interesting) and everyonce in a while one will take me aside and ask how everything is.
Well that happened twice tonight, the first time was about classes. Kelsey's mother was making me feel pretty guilty about my grades and my study habits. And I realize, how I have many times before, that it is definatly time for change. I need to buckle down so bad it is rediculous. It is time. I know this is two weeks before the end of my first year but I hope that I can do this and keep it up. I need to get better grade becuase I should be getting them and all it would take would be minimal work. I know the reason I am the way I am though. Which brings me to the next conversation I had.
Mrs. Farmer and I talked about life and what I am looking forward too and I realized, once again, as many times before, that I have no idea what is in store for me. She tried to make me feel better by saying that she doesnt even know what she wants to do, which I believe since I know a few older ppl who are still wandering, but I just dont know and it gets to ya. Most ppl know I am one that needs to know, I hate being out of the loop, so considering that this is only something I can figure out makes it all the worse.
For the most part I love who I am, I love that I am a great friend to the friends I have, or at least I hope I am. There are a few things I would change and the only thing is is that these things are kinda big, but I am not worried for I have faiththat they will all work out in the end. I just wish I knew where this was all going. Wish I knew what to do educationally or career wise. I guess the face of my future is masked for the time being but hey I can dream cant I?