Twenty 09
Its 2009. Where has the time gone? I have NO idea. But I do know that I have grown up a lot. I am starting to really feel like an adult now who can handle responsibilities. I have grown a lot this past year. The first half was pretty boring but around my 23rd birthday things changed. I left Walgreen’s and went to US BANK only to get fired and have to start all over. The last couple months of summer consisted of me working for my aunt part time, looking for a job, and walking around my neighborhood contemplating everything. I did a lot of assessment and self discovery. I felt free... I enjoyed not being tied down to a dead end job for any corporation with jerk managers and crazy customers.
After leaving Walgreen’s I felt about a million times better. I got more confidence, a better attitude, and a big weight was lifted off of me. I was really glad to get away from that depressing job. In September I got hired at the gap for seasonal. I like the job a lot but I don’t get a lot of hours. The economy is bad right now and a lot of my hours get cut. Plus a snowstorm hit Portland and the mall was closed a few days last month. I have been worried about not getting hours and financial surprises don’t help. i.e.: wisdom tooth removal, tuition, books, and cell phone bills. My mom gave me enough money last week to get me through this tough time. I feel very relieved right now and I am not worried about it anymore.
My manager Scott sat down with me and laid everything on the table. I think he wants me to stick around past seasonal and be a permanent employee. He gave me some feedback and now I know what I need to work on. They are things I will need to be good at for any job. Moving faster, more urgent, and assertive. Even thought the hours suck (I got 5 for this whole week) I am going to stay. Finding a job is really hard right now and I just want to wait for the right job to come along with the best fit for me. And I think it is going to happen when it happens. I think once I am done with school it will be a lot easier since my availability will be open. So, I am just going to stick with the gap and concentrate on school.
School is my main concern right now. I am very close to getting my BA in Business Management. I should have my degree by August. It is really amazing to me how close to being done I am. I am so proud of myself for sticking with it. It is going to be weird to graduate and not have class and homework. I am trying to enjoy it while it lasts and get everything out of it I can. I have started up Bootcamp again at PCC. My instructor is awesome and is really motivating. Physical fitness is something that has been put on the backburner for a while and I feel SO good being active again. This year is all about balance and taking the time to do things for ME.
So, I have decided to stop putting so much of my attention, time, and energy on Patrick. I love him but I have to put more energy into myself. It is not easy for me to back off but I think he needs more space. I think it’s always been too easy for me to be wrapped up in him and now I feel like it is necessary for me to focus on me and invest in myself. I wanted us to move to the next level and I was really focused on the future of us. But now I want to take away all the pressure and take it a couple steps back and see where it goes from there. I just need to be more independent and be able to rely on and take care of myself first.
The most important thing I am going to do is take care of me. And stop worrying. Take care of the important stuff so I don’t have to worry about it later, and the things I can’t control I need to let go of. Stop harping on the things I don’t have or things I think should be different in my life and just work towards what I want and don’t let anything stop me. It is all up to me anyways. No sense in worrying or over analyzing every little detail. I am going to just focus on the good things, relax and enjoy life. I can figure everything out later...
After leaving Walgreen’s I felt about a million times better. I got more confidence, a better attitude, and a big weight was lifted off of me. I was really glad to get away from that depressing job. In September I got hired at the gap for seasonal. I like the job a lot but I don’t get a lot of hours. The economy is bad right now and a lot of my hours get cut. Plus a snowstorm hit Portland and the mall was closed a few days last month. I have been worried about not getting hours and financial surprises don’t help. i.e.: wisdom tooth removal, tuition, books, and cell phone bills. My mom gave me enough money last week to get me through this tough time. I feel very relieved right now and I am not worried about it anymore.
My manager Scott sat down with me and laid everything on the table. I think he wants me to stick around past seasonal and be a permanent employee. He gave me some feedback and now I know what I need to work on. They are things I will need to be good at for any job. Moving faster, more urgent, and assertive. Even thought the hours suck (I got 5 for this whole week) I am going to stay. Finding a job is really hard right now and I just want to wait for the right job to come along with the best fit for me. And I think it is going to happen when it happens. I think once I am done with school it will be a lot easier since my availability will be open. So, I am just going to stick with the gap and concentrate on school.
School is my main concern right now. I am very close to getting my BA in Business Management. I should have my degree by August. It is really amazing to me how close to being done I am. I am so proud of myself for sticking with it. It is going to be weird to graduate and not have class and homework. I am trying to enjoy it while it lasts and get everything out of it I can. I have started up Bootcamp again at PCC. My instructor is awesome and is really motivating. Physical fitness is something that has been put on the backburner for a while and I feel SO good being active again. This year is all about balance and taking the time to do things for ME.
So, I have decided to stop putting so much of my attention, time, and energy on Patrick. I love him but I have to put more energy into myself. It is not easy for me to back off but I think he needs more space. I think it’s always been too easy for me to be wrapped up in him and now I feel like it is necessary for me to focus on me and invest in myself. I wanted us to move to the next level and I was really focused on the future of us. But now I want to take away all the pressure and take it a couple steps back and see where it goes from there. I just need to be more independent and be able to rely on and take care of myself first.
The most important thing I am going to do is take care of me. And stop worrying. Take care of the important stuff so I don’t have to worry about it later, and the things I can’t control I need to let go of. Stop harping on the things I don’t have or things I think should be different in my life and just work towards what I want and don’t let anything stop me. It is all up to me anyways. No sense in worrying or over analyzing every little detail. I am going to just focus on the good things, relax and enjoy life. I can figure everything out later...