it takes courage to enjoy it..
Im stayin up waitin to hear from my boo..oh well. I think I need to journalize more..Im watching way too much bjork on youtube. She is beautiful/erotic/weird/cute/amazing... I just love her. her voice is so great. It makes me feel so good. I dont know why I dont just go to sleep. Sleep is good. I remember when I use to get a lot of it. Now my mind wont let me rest. So many things to do/explore/create.. I just want so much at the same time. I may actually be moving out soon.. if my friends can find a 3 bedroom in portland, cuz Im not movin outta p-town. I love it here. I tried to talk Patrick into the idea of us living together but I think he is just gettin settled in and doesn't wanna move. I even tried to be "the man" and asked him to move in with me. He didnt say no..but he just doesnt show the same enthusiasm. What do I gotta do to get some passion out of this boy? We are still young and the last thing I wanna do is make him feel pressured. but..I do feel like we have been together long enough, been through enough, to move in and take it to the next level. But everything will happen when and how it is suppose to. I just wish that I could get exactly what I want..not what other people want for me..but Im just trying to go with the flow cuz life is moving and changing so fast I cant barely keep up. I just wanna enjoy every minute before it runs up. ok Im gonna go try and lay down with my eyes closed for a while until Im dreamin.