(no subject)
LOVE
I'm beginning to not like that word so much. How can you "love" someone and tell them you want to make their life a living hell? How do you "love" someone and try to take everything they love away from them. It's not possible. So on top off all the other shit I'm having to deal with the concept that maybe after all these years you don't really love me. Just maybe all this time you only loved who I was, and now that I've changed, maybe your love has too. What you don't understand is that I'm to the point where I no longer need you or your fuckin approval. If this makes me an awful person, well then I guess I am.
Thank you dad, you're my everything right now. Never have I seen you cry or even get a little bit misty. Not at a funeral, not ever. Last night on the phone with me I heard you break down. That's when I realized you DO really love me, no matter what kind of bullshit people try to tell me about you. I've never asked anything of you for sixteen years, but I need you now. So please don't back out on me.
I refuse to get weak and let myself cry. I have to be strong. So come on and hit me with your best shot. I've made up my mind.
Come what may...
I'm beginning to not like that word so much. How can you "love" someone and tell them you want to make their life a living hell? How do you "love" someone and try to take everything they love away from them. It's not possible. So on top off all the other shit I'm having to deal with the concept that maybe after all these years you don't really love me. Just maybe all this time you only loved who I was, and now that I've changed, maybe your love has too. What you don't understand is that I'm to the point where I no longer need you or your fuckin approval. If this makes me an awful person, well then I guess I am.
Thank you dad, you're my everything right now. Never have I seen you cry or even get a little bit misty. Not at a funeral, not ever. Last night on the phone with me I heard you break down. That's when I realized you DO really love me, no matter what kind of bullshit people try to tell me about you. I've never asked anything of you for sixteen years, but I need you now. So please don't back out on me.
I refuse to get weak and let myself cry. I have to be strong. So come on and hit me with your best shot. I've made up my mind.
Come what may...