How should i spend my Christmas vacation?
Hmmmm... grounded perhaps! Yea you guessed it. i managed to get grounded for yet another vacation. Ask nicole, this always happens to me. i cant remember the last Christmas vacation i actually got to go somehwere and see people! I have been sitting in this house for 3 days straight and i am starting to go crazy. I have been cooking alot as a result of my bordom. Surprizingly i have gotten pretty good at it. I have a whole 2 more weeks to go, chances are i wont make it, i cant see how i could. its been 3 days and i am seriously starting to act weird and do things i thought i would never do. I am going to get my permit tomorrow, then i get a car as soon as i get a job. which sux cause now i have to get out and find a job. My mom trimmed my hair yesterday, God knows it a completely different hair style now, but it doesnt really matter since i will be seeing no one. By the time i get ungrounded it should be grown out enough so that you cant tell it was butchered. i have to go to church tonight... right now i should be out with my friends having a great time, since i made a shit load of plans with all of them. I had so much fun stuff to do over this break. I was supposed to go to Flagstaff tomorrow to play in the snow with my friends...but no i am going to be sitting at home by myself doing nothing. I swear i am going to drown in self pitty. I have never felt more sorry for myself. i didnt even do anything... i missunderstood something so she takes away my whole Christmas vacation, and then says that God is pleased with what she is doing to me! What the hell!? Every now and then i get into a fight with ym mom and nearly kill myself because i cant get on the phone to talk to a friend about it, and i cant go for a walk or anything. I am so trapped! I think the most horrible thing that you cannot escape is your mind. And that is what i am going to be trapped in for the next 2 weeks! There is nothing to take my mind off of the things that have been tormenting me for the past few weeks. I find myself just waiting for it to get dark so i can take sleeping pills and wake up having it be another day. I just want the days to be over!
I wish i had cabel or good movies to watch, but of course i dont! At least while my mom is at work during the week, i will get to talk on the phone... I hate the holidays, every time something bad happens and the past 4 years have proved it. I am no longer going to look forward to them or be excited about them. My mom has offically killed all my holiday spirit, or whatever i had before... MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!!!
I wish i had cabel or good movies to watch, but of course i dont! At least while my mom is at work during the week, i will get to talk on the phone... I hate the holidays, every time something bad happens and the past 4 years have proved it. I am no longer going to look forward to them or be excited about them. My mom has offically killed all my holiday spirit, or whatever i had before... MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!!!