My kingdom really feels like its in shambles
There's something I shouldnt be thinking about right now. But I'm thinking about it...a lot. Its doing me no good to be thinking about it; its just making me more stressed out and sad, but its such a big thing to me that I cant stop. I'm feeling all fatalist and negative about it when I want so badly to be positive. This quarter is an awful AWFUL time for me right now...I haven't bitten my nails like this since high school. Next quarter is when decisions will really be made and maybe that is a time when I should be thinking about things...but really...I have no say in any of it so why should I preoccupy myself with something I can't change. I could be really negative about it and try to distance myself starting now so that when it happens it wont be such a blow or I could be positive about it and think that it'll work out just fine with me being extra strong. I just really want things to go right...whatever "right" even means. I need some comfort and some sensitivity; this situation is a really touchy one with me right now and I really just want someone to cuddle me and tell me that its going to be ok.