Its no longer JULY 5th ill try to make sense, a lot of run ons
Me and my friend were talking in the hot tub about life and stuff like that and this is what i got(this entry will be in no way close to explaining what i just learned bc im still processing):
I lost my father when i was 14 years old and he was basically to me, my best friend and the biggest person in my life. Bc i lost him and dont have someone anymore to be that part of me anymore im searching for it. The reason ive wanted to fall in love at such a young age and all that happilly ever after stuff is because i want to fill that void. I allow myself to go for things that arent there even if i know that bc im looking for that replacement. Which isnt fair to anyone at all that I might be dating whenever. Love isnt a thing you force onto someone its a connection, a feeling that is either there or isnt there. The reason love is so special and so hard to find is because its hard to be honest to the other person of who you are. Which is a feeling from both parties in a relationship. Also sometimes people just arent ready for that step in the relationship bc they havent grown up or learned enough yet to be.I read something about what justin said about love and being young which really makes since to me, in how you grow up by the mistakes you make and its hard to make these mistakes and be in a relationship.
My friend also was telling me about how he regrets this relationship he had with this girl bc she was his best friend and they decided to go out. Well shortly after they broke up and havent talked since, at all. He misses her and how they used to be able to just be really good friends. Which was coincidental because that kind of happened this year with me and adrienne except for the no talking part. Actually we talk more now. But he made me think because he was saying he learned that you have to ask yourself is a friendship worth a break up. Is the reward worth the risk kind of thing. Bc no matter what after a break something changes in your relationship whether good or bad, things are never the same.
I dunno maybe all this is pointless and dumb to a lot of people but to me it is making me feel better. IM happy i talked to my friend for so long, its good to have someone like that. Exceptially for my dad because he had known my dad since he was little also. I cant wait till I reach the point he is maturity wise because it seems like he has started to figure out the important things in life.
Hmm but yeah anyways life isnt bad
I lost my father when i was 14 years old and he was basically to me, my best friend and the biggest person in my life. Bc i lost him and dont have someone anymore to be that part of me anymore im searching for it. The reason ive wanted to fall in love at such a young age and all that happilly ever after stuff is because i want to fill that void. I allow myself to go for things that arent there even if i know that bc im looking for that replacement. Which isnt fair to anyone at all that I might be dating whenever. Love isnt a thing you force onto someone its a connection, a feeling that is either there or isnt there. The reason love is so special and so hard to find is because its hard to be honest to the other person of who you are. Which is a feeling from both parties in a relationship. Also sometimes people just arent ready for that step in the relationship bc they havent grown up or learned enough yet to be.I read something about what justin said about love and being young which really makes since to me, in how you grow up by the mistakes you make and its hard to make these mistakes and be in a relationship.
My friend also was telling me about how he regrets this relationship he had with this girl bc she was his best friend and they decided to go out. Well shortly after they broke up and havent talked since, at all. He misses her and how they used to be able to just be really good friends. Which was coincidental because that kind of happened this year with me and adrienne except for the no talking part. Actually we talk more now. But he made me think because he was saying he learned that you have to ask yourself is a friendship worth a break up. Is the reward worth the risk kind of thing. Bc no matter what after a break something changes in your relationship whether good or bad, things are never the same.
I dunno maybe all this is pointless and dumb to a lot of people but to me it is making me feel better. IM happy i talked to my friend for so long, its good to have someone like that. Exceptially for my dad because he had known my dad since he was little also. I cant wait till I reach the point he is maturity wise because it seems like he has started to figure out the important things in life.
Hmm but yeah anyways life isnt bad