screaming for something, knowing nothing is better then knowing at all, on my own
i was thinking today about relationships (i was at a wedding so yeah) this is what i was thought
it seems like everyone i know who has someone in their life that they like a lot or feel they love seem to be happy. maybe not happy every single moment which no one can be but generally happy. i dunno it just makes me want something like that. not even for what most people would want which is sex but for moments that you can just look at that person and your just like wow. they like take your breath away kinda. its hard for me to explain what i exactly mean i just know i hope someday soon i just find someone that has a mutual feeling that actually likes me for who i am and its the same for me to them. not saying the person i spend the rest of my life with, just someone who i will always rememember as special to me. it just seems like that never will happen and i depress myself over it. ill listen to music that will say things like dont waste your time on me anymore and stuff like that. maybe i just make things harder then they are.
anyways i went to a wedding. its funny how different wedding are when they actually mean something to you. like amandas wedding that i went today meant a lot to me seeing her finally completely grow up. ive known her since the minute i was born basically. she was there when i was born and was a big part of my life as i was growing up.(its kind of sad how i really dont see her as much anymore) she was always the person who take me out on the jet skis or play games with me and i love her for that. its also cool bc her husband brandon is definetly going to be a good husband. you can tell just by talking to them how much they love eachother and that is awesome. im happy for them.
ill apologize for this shitty entry my life is boring and kind of sucks
it seems like everyone i know who has someone in their life that they like a lot or feel they love seem to be happy. maybe not happy every single moment which no one can be but generally happy. i dunno it just makes me want something like that. not even for what most people would want which is sex but for moments that you can just look at that person and your just like wow. they like take your breath away kinda. its hard for me to explain what i exactly mean i just know i hope someday soon i just find someone that has a mutual feeling that actually likes me for who i am and its the same for me to them. not saying the person i spend the rest of my life with, just someone who i will always rememember as special to me. it just seems like that never will happen and i depress myself over it. ill listen to music that will say things like dont waste your time on me anymore and stuff like that. maybe i just make things harder then they are.
anyways i went to a wedding. its funny how different wedding are when they actually mean something to you. like amandas wedding that i went today meant a lot to me seeing her finally completely grow up. ive known her since the minute i was born basically. she was there when i was born and was a big part of my life as i was growing up.(its kind of sad how i really dont see her as much anymore) she was always the person who take me out on the jet skis or play games with me and i love her for that. its also cool bc her husband brandon is definetly going to be a good husband. you can tell just by talking to them how much they love eachother and that is awesome. im happy for them.
ill apologize for this shitty entry my life is boring and kind of sucks