Today
I took this from my MySpace Blog
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The Four Kings of my Love Life
HE wants me for who I use to be.
HE wants me for who he thinks I am.
HE wants me for the small part of me he actually knows.
HE wants me for who I am now.
But what about me?
I want HIM for how we use to be.
I want HIM for how I am when I'm with him.
I want HIM for the small part I actually know about HIM.
I want HIM because I can't have him.
But really, I know not what I want, and I am incapable of coming to a decision. I'm not even sure if a decision is even necessary in my situation.
"I guess I should just walk away. Would I disappoint my future if I stay?" -Sade
I don't want anyone right now. I'm working on strengthening my independence. But how in the hell does everything fall into place the way it does? And THATS the reason I haven't completely converted to atheism: the oddity of the universe. I always look around at how things fall into place. I step out of a hurtful relationship, and just then someone steps into my life who I enjoy being around...but we can't be together. We're good friends, end of story. Then someone who I've had on the back burner decides he doesn't wanna be there anymore. He wants more... yet when I was looking for more a year ago, he flat out told me no. And now, the ex wants back in. He says he'll change for me, he wants to be with me, he didnt realize what he had until it was gone, and he's sorry.
"The bee is coming back for the honey...you don't miss what you have, until you can't have it, caress or grab it. I know you reminisce with a sadness. But anyways, nowadays I'm amazed at all the attention he pays." ~Sabelle
So like I said before, I'm a huge fan of the order, or disorder depending on which side of the lens you're looking through, of the universe. I just have to take this all as slowly as possible, sip on some lean, listen to screw...hah! I'm just playin. Lots to think about. I said it yesterday, and I will repeat now: I need to write a little and talk alot. Here's to the beginning of a little writing:
I'll grab and take hold of all I once knew.
I'll pretend to understand what is and not true.
I'll play the love game and lose as we all do.
And then I'll hit reset and start over new. ~Nat
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The Four Kings of my Love Life
HE wants me for who I use to be.
HE wants me for who he thinks I am.
HE wants me for the small part of me he actually knows.
HE wants me for who I am now.
But what about me?
I want HIM for how we use to be.
I want HIM for how I am when I'm with him.
I want HIM for the small part I actually know about HIM.
I want HIM because I can't have him.
But really, I know not what I want, and I am incapable of coming to a decision. I'm not even sure if a decision is even necessary in my situation.
"I guess I should just walk away. Would I disappoint my future if I stay?" -Sade
I don't want anyone right now. I'm working on strengthening my independence. But how in the hell does everything fall into place the way it does? And THATS the reason I haven't completely converted to atheism: the oddity of the universe. I always look around at how things fall into place. I step out of a hurtful relationship, and just then someone steps into my life who I enjoy being around...but we can't be together. We're good friends, end of story. Then someone who I've had on the back burner decides he doesn't wanna be there anymore. He wants more... yet when I was looking for more a year ago, he flat out told me no. And now, the ex wants back in. He says he'll change for me, he wants to be with me, he didnt realize what he had until it was gone, and he's sorry.
"The bee is coming back for the honey...you don't miss what you have, until you can't have it, caress or grab it. I know you reminisce with a sadness. But anyways, nowadays I'm amazed at all the attention he pays." ~Sabelle
So like I said before, I'm a huge fan of the order, or disorder depending on which side of the lens you're looking through, of the universe. I just have to take this all as slowly as possible, sip on some lean, listen to screw...hah! I'm just playin. Lots to think about. I said it yesterday, and I will repeat now: I need to write a little and talk alot. Here's to the beginning of a little writing:
I'll grab and take hold of all I once knew.
I'll pretend to understand what is and not true.
I'll play the love game and lose as we all do.
And then I'll hit reset and start over new. ~Nat
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