and so it is
In the past two weeks my heart has been shattered in a million pieces. I gave up on romance and no longer believe if fate. All that i though was meant to be can now be seen as mare coinsedence. Who was I thinking, that someone was actually intersted. As a result i chose to emerse myself in work, school, and other casualities of every day life. I am sure that in ten years i will remember this even and realize how foolish the idea is. But for now i will cry inside like i have never cried. Nevertheless, i will cover it all up simply because there is no reason to let others in on your problems, since they themselves have millions of problems.
I am glad school started it gives me the opportunity to forget about everything that is going on. THis insident forced me to wake up and smell the reality of life. And unfortunatly it ain't pretty ladies in gents. Sure many might see this as a vast overexageration, but at this point, i no longer believe in the concept of hopless romantics. THere is a reason why they are hopeless because sure the dreams a beutifull, but reality will always provail, and it is not pretty, it never was and it will never be pretty.
People always say, "You broke my heart" but i don't think i ever knew the true meaning of that phrase untill i experienced. It was in the evening and i was quietly working, when the news came and i hurd the cracks in my heart and for a second it stopped. I remember i just wanted to go home and cry in a corner. And a few hours later i did, sadly enough i cried more then i have ever cried, with exception of when i found out we had to move. I couldn't understand why these news have such an effect on me... but they did. I was never the same after that, the world looks different now, it has no emotions it has no romance, there is just no more hope. SOunds cheezy yet still feels like it.
Am I going to just give up and refuse to live? Ofcourse not, i will continue as i have before just with one difference no hope, just determination to suceed in school and then in the work force, nothing more. NO other opportunities for getting hurt emotionally, it hurts too much. I know that it will be allright, and i just need to wait patiently when the pain stop.... or so i have been telling myself for the last ten days.
I am glad school started it gives me the opportunity to forget about everything that is going on. THis insident forced me to wake up and smell the reality of life. And unfortunatly it ain't pretty ladies in gents. Sure many might see this as a vast overexageration, but at this point, i no longer believe in the concept of hopless romantics. THere is a reason why they are hopeless because sure the dreams a beutifull, but reality will always provail, and it is not pretty, it never was and it will never be pretty.
People always say, "You broke my heart" but i don't think i ever knew the true meaning of that phrase untill i experienced. It was in the evening and i was quietly working, when the news came and i hurd the cracks in my heart and for a second it stopped. I remember i just wanted to go home and cry in a corner. And a few hours later i did, sadly enough i cried more then i have ever cried, with exception of when i found out we had to move. I couldn't understand why these news have such an effect on me... but they did. I was never the same after that, the world looks different now, it has no emotions it has no romance, there is just no more hope. SOunds cheezy yet still feels like it.
Am I going to just give up and refuse to live? Ofcourse not, i will continue as i have before just with one difference no hope, just determination to suceed in school and then in the work force, nothing more. NO other opportunities for getting hurt emotionally, it hurts too much. I know that it will be allright, and i just need to wait patiently when the pain stop.... or so i have been telling myself for the last ten days.