recs for fics featuring mental illness/mentally ill!Dean (gen & Dean/Sam, some Dean/OMCs)
This is a difficult subject to write about, but one I’m really interested in!
If you have any similarly themed recs, (or self-recs), please leave them in the comments to this post so that others can check them out.
And if you like this rec post, you may also want to check out my season 4 PTSD!Dean rec post. ;)
Letting go and holding on by astatine_burn
Author’s notes/summary: Dean struggles with reality when death and deadlines become too hard to ignore. (set before the end of season three). Inspired by that well known Buffy episode, Normal Again. 10,236 words. R. Warning: character death. Dean, Sam, with mentions of Ruby, Bobby, Ellen and Jess. Gen.
Reccer's notes: This is a haunting read, aching and twisty and turny and it stuck with me for a long time after I read it.
Tags: counseling/therapy, Dean's deal, hospitalization (psychiatric), mental illness
Moths on the Mirror by fleshflutter
Author’s notes/summary: There's something wrong in Red Haven Hospital for the Criminally Insane, but no one's going to listen to a psychopath like Dean Winchester. Dean/OMC and Dean/Sam, 18978 words, NC-17, extremely dubious consent but not between Sam and Dean.
Reccer's notes: This is such a cool casefile, with this what-if scenario where Dean loses himself in a mental institution for the criminally insane, and… oh, I don’t want to give too much away!
I found this fic to be disturbing and dark, but captivating too. The author has written some timestamps for this fic as well. This second one is especially hurt-comfort-y!
Tags: counseling/therapy, drugs (psychiatric), hospitalization (psychiatric), mental illness, sexual abuse
The Bright Lights of Disturbia by leonidaslion @ leonidasden [WIP]
Author’s notes/summary: Not all of our scars are worn on the outside. Drama, h/c. Warnings: intense, disturbing sexual situations, further warnings at the link. Spoilers up through In My Time of Dying. NC-17. Characters: Sam, Dean, John, Jess, Bobby, Sarah / Pairings: Sam/Dean, Dean/OCs, Sam/Jess, Sam/Sarah.
Reccer's notes: In which Dean is traumatized as is suffering from depersonalization, (a type of dissociative disorder) leading to sexual dysfunction, and probably PTSD.
This is a massive WIP, at 44 out of 52 chapters and updated regularly at weekly intervals. I don’t know that I’ve read a fic that stays so consistent and so consistently good through this many chapters, like, ever.
I will say that my personal version of Sam’s character and the author’s did not connect, especially at the beginning of the story, but I feel very connected to him as the story goes on. An incredibly engaging (and long, obvs.) read, so make sure you have some time set aside if you decide to read it. ;)
Tags: dissociation/dissociative disorder, mental illness, psychological trauma/damage, PTSD, repressed memories, sexual abuse, sexual dysfunction, suicidal ideation/attempt
Blue Skies From Rain by lovesrain44
Author's notes/summary: The morning after Sam rescues Dean from the djinn, Sam and Dean go back to the warehouse to take care of the bodies of both the victims and of the djinn. But instead of what should be a simple clean-up job, Sam and Dean are sucked into a nightmare world brought about by the djinn’s last dying act of revenge. (Takes place directly after What Is and What Should Never Be.) What do you do when you wake up in a mental institution and you think your brother is dead? Warnings: Slash/wincest, dark, angst, amnesia, mental institution, unsubstantiated group and art therapy techniques, laundry, oatmeal, and true love with schmoop mixed in. 178,000 words. NC-17, Sam/Dean.
Reccer's notes: This is another all-too-rare BEAUTIFULLY done longfic. It’s such a great idea to start off with. I already loved "What Is and What Should never Be," but now I love it even more that this fic came out of it! And the writer writes Dean and Sam’s relationship with such emotion and tenderness.
There’s h/c for both Dean and Sam to be found here, btw.
Tags: amnesia, counseling/therapy, ep: "WIAWSNB", drugs (psychiatric), hospitalization (psychiatric), mental illness
The Storyteller (part 2 can be found here) by toldthestars
Author’s notes/summary: AU; I keep referring to this as my "Crazy Dean" story. PG, ya know, more er less. Pre-series. Dean/Sam.
Reccer's notes: This is a deathfic, but somehow not entirely hopeless. Dean is genuinely suffering from mental illness in this fic, but what the fic is really about is Dean and Sam, and how Dean-and-Sam they are through everything and anything. Beautiful.
Tags: hospitalization (psychiatric), mental illness
Clangs by Vehemently @ vee_fic
Author’s notes/summary: It was just a stupid accident. It doesn't have to be any more complicated than that. R for language, scariness, and adult themes. Gen AU.
Reccer's notes: Oh, wow. This features the boys raised without the knowledge of the supernatural, which is usually too AU for me when it comes to reading fic for this show, but this is superb. The characters are so completely THEM, and it’s the perfect AU as far as I’m concerned.
John fooled himself into what he saw 22 years ago. Dean thinks he knows what happened; Sam thinks he’s crazy. Psychological suspense at it’s finest.
Tags: mental illness, psychological trauma, war/post-war issues
BONUS: nwhepcat has been posting a fantastic casefile to this comm which I think may be heading in this direction, although it hasn’t gotten there yet:
The Apotheosis of Wile E. Coyote by nwhepcat [WIP]
Author's notes/summary: Even with the clock ticking toward death and hell, Dean insists on taking on a routine job. It's anything but routine when he finds something he's not meant to discover, and things get a great deal more complicated. Set shortly after S3 "Mystery Spot," but spoilery for S4 "Heaven and Hell" Warnings: Language, h/c, pyschosis. R, gen.
Tags: Dean's deal, undiagnosed/mysterious illness
got recs?
browse the recs @ the comm
browse the recs @ our delicious rec account, for advanced searching
If you have any similarly themed recs, (or self-recs), please leave them in the comments to this post so that others can check them out.
And if you like this rec post, you may also want to check out my season 4 PTSD!Dean rec post. ;)
Letting go and holding on by astatine_burn
Author’s notes/summary: Dean struggles with reality when death and deadlines become too hard to ignore. (set before the end of season three). Inspired by that well known Buffy episode, Normal Again. 10,236 words. R. Warning: character death. Dean, Sam, with mentions of Ruby, Bobby, Ellen and Jess. Gen.
Reccer's notes: This is a haunting read, aching and twisty and turny and it stuck with me for a long time after I read it.
Tags: counseling/therapy, Dean's deal, hospitalization (psychiatric), mental illness
Moths on the Mirror by fleshflutter
Author’s notes/summary: There's something wrong in Red Haven Hospital for the Criminally Insane, but no one's going to listen to a psychopath like Dean Winchester. Dean/OMC and Dean/Sam, 18978 words, NC-17, extremely dubious consent but not between Sam and Dean.
Reccer's notes: This is such a cool casefile, with this what-if scenario where Dean loses himself in a mental institution for the criminally insane, and… oh, I don’t want to give too much away!
I found this fic to be disturbing and dark, but captivating too. The author has written some timestamps for this fic as well. This second one is especially hurt-comfort-y!
Tags: counseling/therapy, drugs (psychiatric), hospitalization (psychiatric), mental illness, sexual abuse
The Bright Lights of Disturbia by leonidaslion @ leonidasden [WIP]
Author’s notes/summary: Not all of our scars are worn on the outside. Drama, h/c. Warnings: intense, disturbing sexual situations, further warnings at the link. Spoilers up through In My Time of Dying. NC-17. Characters: Sam, Dean, John, Jess, Bobby, Sarah / Pairings: Sam/Dean, Dean/OCs, Sam/Jess, Sam/Sarah.
Reccer's notes: In which Dean is traumatized as is suffering from depersonalization, (a type of dissociative disorder) leading to sexual dysfunction, and probably PTSD.
This is a massive WIP, at 44 out of 52 chapters and updated regularly at weekly intervals. I don’t know that I’ve read a fic that stays so consistent and so consistently good through this many chapters, like, ever.
I will say that my personal version of Sam’s character and the author’s did not connect, especially at the beginning of the story, but I feel very connected to him as the story goes on. An incredibly engaging (and long, obvs.) read, so make sure you have some time set aside if you decide to read it. ;)
Tags: dissociation/dissociative disorder, mental illness, psychological trauma/damage, PTSD, repressed memories, sexual abuse, sexual dysfunction, suicidal ideation/attempt
Blue Skies From Rain by lovesrain44
Author's notes/summary: The morning after Sam rescues Dean from the djinn, Sam and Dean go back to the warehouse to take care of the bodies of both the victims and of the djinn. But instead of what should be a simple clean-up job, Sam and Dean are sucked into a nightmare world brought about by the djinn’s last dying act of revenge. (Takes place directly after What Is and What Should Never Be.) What do you do when you wake up in a mental institution and you think your brother is dead? Warnings: Slash/wincest, dark, angst, amnesia, mental institution, unsubstantiated group and art therapy techniques, laundry, oatmeal, and true love with schmoop mixed in. 178,000 words. NC-17, Sam/Dean.
Reccer's notes: This is another all-too-rare BEAUTIFULLY done longfic. It’s such a great idea to start off with. I already loved "What Is and What Should never Be," but now I love it even more that this fic came out of it! And the writer writes Dean and Sam’s relationship with such emotion and tenderness.
There’s h/c for both Dean and Sam to be found here, btw.
Tags: amnesia, counseling/therapy, ep: "WIAWSNB", drugs (psychiatric), hospitalization (psychiatric), mental illness
The Storyteller (part 2 can be found here) by toldthestars
Author’s notes/summary: AU; I keep referring to this as my "Crazy Dean" story. PG, ya know, more er less. Pre-series. Dean/Sam.
Reccer's notes: This is a deathfic, but somehow not entirely hopeless. Dean is genuinely suffering from mental illness in this fic, but what the fic is really about is Dean and Sam, and how Dean-and-Sam they are through everything and anything. Beautiful.
Tags: hospitalization (psychiatric), mental illness
Clangs by Vehemently @ vee_fic
Author’s notes/summary: It was just a stupid accident. It doesn't have to be any more complicated than that. R for language, scariness, and adult themes. Gen AU.
Reccer's notes: Oh, wow. This features the boys raised without the knowledge of the supernatural, which is usually too AU for me when it comes to reading fic for this show, but this is superb. The characters are so completely THEM, and it’s the perfect AU as far as I’m concerned.
John fooled himself into what he saw 22 years ago. Dean thinks he knows what happened; Sam thinks he’s crazy. Psychological suspense at it’s finest.
Tags: mental illness, psychological trauma, war/post-war issues
BONUS: nwhepcat has been posting a fantastic casefile to this comm which I think may be heading in this direction, although it hasn’t gotten there yet:
The Apotheosis of Wile E. Coyote by nwhepcat [WIP]
Author's notes/summary: Even with the clock ticking toward death and hell, Dean insists on taking on a routine job. It's anything but routine when he finds something he's not meant to discover, and things get a great deal more complicated. Set shortly after S3 "Mystery Spot," but spoilery for S4 "Heaven and Hell" Warnings: Language, h/c, pyschosis. R, gen.
Tags: Dean's deal, undiagnosed/mysterious illness
got recs?
browse the recs @ the comm
browse the recs @ our delicious rec account, for advanced searching