FILLED: Stasis, Dean and Sam, PG, 2/2quadrant_of_skyJune 26 2014, 15:52:22 UTC
His time at Sonny's had changed him. He had made a decision to grow up, to make a sacrifice, to say goodbye to any chance at a normal life. It was something he couldn't communicate to Sam and it was something his father would never fully understand, because to him, there had only been one answer.
He always chose family over everything else when there was no real choice to make. At Sonny's, the decision had finally been set against an alternative, had been placed in his hands as his. Dean had been caught in the middle, and when he emerged from the decision not triumphant but changed, he had found it difficult to slide back into what little of his childhood had existed - those fragmented hopes for anything normal were once and for all dismissed as impossible.
"You thought it was a job." It isn't a question, though Sam doesn't know for sure. It's an educated guess, and a good one. Why the hell else would Dean have spent so much time there? Why would he have wanted to go back?
"It wasn't." Dean doesn't look at Sam. He squints down at the laptop.
"You gonna tell me what it was?" Sam's tired of half-truths and fill-in-the-blank problems. Dean knows.
"Just an abandoned house."
Empty - a life left behind with no one to live it.
"That's it?" Sam asks, looking doubtful.
Time stood still in the house. Even while Dean walked from room to room, trailed his fingertips over shelves caked with neglect and opened doors that had been shut for too long, the house was silent. Unmoving. Alone.
He wanted to feel that again. In this position with Sam and his plus one, years after his last visit to the home, molded as he is into a hardened adult, Dean had wanted, if only for a moment, to remember that subtle sense of kinship he felt with the house.
But even the house has moved on. The barstools have been removed, the wood paneling has been torn down, and the pieces have been pulled away.
Re: FILLED: Stasis, Dean and Sam, PG, 2/2kallielJune 27 2014, 02:13:00 UTC
You know, I actually clicked on the fill before I knew what prompt it was for, and by the time I got to the second part I was thinking, oh man, this is so perfect, it's like it was written for me. And then I got all the way to the end and I thought, OH MAN THIS IS SO PERFECT IT'S LIKE IT WAS WRITTEN FOR ME. And then I clicked on the "parent" link so I could masterlist this properly and I looked at the prompt and realized
OH MY GOD IT ACTUALLY WAS WRITTEN FOR ME!!! So know that this is 100% absolutely perfect perfect, even without knowing what prompt it was for or anything like that.
And then I wanted to draw attention to this paragraph in particular:
"What are you looking for?" Sam asks, coming up behind him, rubbing the back of his neck and wearing that pinched, concerned expression that is becoming too familiar to Dean by now - the one that tells Dean that his lies are getting closer and closer to unraveling, that he's in over his head and he can't keep Sam placated long enough for the angel to finish his job and get the hell out. That all of this is culminating to a bad end.
Because it's such a strong, clear beefy little scene, and the way it wends into Dean's thoughts about middle school Sam a little later is really glorious.
And then the whooooole second part to this. I actually read this twice, one immediately after the other, and I don't think I can adequately express to you how amazing the ending is, in terms of emotion and writing and Dean and also writing and emotion and--well, it's perfect, truly.
The house no longer exists, but Dean still does.
And Dean is still waiting for it to get easier.
"That's it," Dean replies.
Ohhhhhh my god. I know this is not a remotely articulate response, but I love youuuuu and I love this. <33 And you should totally post it to the comm proper! I want to make sure nobody misses out on having the chance to read this. ♥
Re: FILLED: Stasis, Dean and Sam, PG, 2/2quadrant_of_skyJune 27 2014, 20:56:23 UTC
Oh man, I can't tell you how happy I am that you enjoyed it so much!! I almost didn't post it at first because it isn't exactly hurt in the traditional sense. So it totally makes my day that you liked it so much. Thank you for your feedback!!
He always chose family over everything else when there was no real choice to make. At Sonny's, the decision had finally been set against an alternative, had been placed in his hands as his. Dean had been caught in the middle, and when he emerged from the decision not triumphant but changed, he had found it difficult to slide back into what little of his childhood had existed - those fragmented hopes for anything normal were once and for all dismissed as impossible.
"You thought it was a job." It isn't a question, though Sam doesn't know for sure. It's an educated guess, and a good one. Why the hell else would Dean have spent so much time there? Why would he have wanted to go back?
"It wasn't." Dean doesn't look at Sam. He squints down at the laptop.
"You gonna tell me what it was?" Sam's tired of half-truths and fill-in-the-blank problems. Dean knows.
"Just an abandoned house."
Empty - a life left behind with no one to live it.
"That's it?" Sam asks, looking doubtful.
Time stood still in the house. Even while Dean walked from room to room, trailed his fingertips over shelves caked with neglect and opened doors that had been shut for too long, the house was silent. Unmoving. Alone.
He wanted to feel that again. In this position with Sam and his plus one, years after his last visit to the home, molded as he is into a hardened adult, Dean had wanted, if only for a moment, to remember that subtle sense of kinship he felt with the house.
But even the house has moved on. The barstools have been removed, the wood paneling has been torn down, and the pieces have been pulled away.
The house no longer exists, but Dean still does.
And Dean is still waiting for it to get easier.
"That's it," Dean replies.
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OH MY GOD IT ACTUALLY WAS WRITTEN FOR ME!!! So know that this is 100% absolutely perfect perfect, even without knowing what prompt it was for or anything like that.
And then I wanted to draw attention to this paragraph in particular:
"What are you looking for?" Sam asks, coming up behind him, rubbing the back of his neck and wearing that pinched, concerned expression that is becoming too familiar to Dean by now - the one that tells Dean that his lies are getting closer and closer to unraveling, that he's in over his head and he can't keep Sam placated long enough for the angel to finish his job and get the hell out. That all of this is culminating to a bad end.
Because it's such a strong, clear beefy little scene, and the way it wends into Dean's thoughts about middle school Sam a little later is really glorious.
And then the whooooole second part to this. I actually read this twice, one immediately after the other, and I don't think I can adequately express to you how amazing the ending is, in terms of emotion and writing and Dean and also writing and emotion and--well, it's perfect, truly.
The house no longer exists, but Dean still does.
And Dean is still waiting for it to get easier.
"That's it," Dean replies.
Ohhhhhh my god. I know this is not a remotely articulate response, but I love youuuuu and I love this. <33 And you should totally post it to the comm proper! I want to make sure nobody misses out on having the chance to read this. ♥
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