Fill part four, last partsparrow_latelyAugust 30 2012, 05:16:58 UTC
Sam huffs and backs away, lies back down on the bed, still with his feet by the pillows and his head at the foot. “Maybe hang your head down to the floor,” he says, and suddenly Dean wants to scream. Go to sleep, he thinks, go to sleep and stop worrying about me and just let me be.
“Sam,” he says instead, “that’ll just send all the blood to my head.”
“Hold your breath until you pass out and then sleep.”
“No, Sam.”
Sam makes an annoyed noise in the dark, and then he’s so quiet Dean thinks he might have dropped off to sleep. “Count sheep?” he suggests, very softly, and Dean doesn’t bother responding to that. There’s another long silence, wherein Dean’s mind is overtaken with the memory of his father’s stony silence as they drove back to the motel, the sheer weight of his disappointment suffocating the car, and then with the image of his father’s face streaked with blood as the little demon bitch smashed his head against the wall. He shudders.
“Maybe you could make a blindfold?” says Sammy, even more quietly. “Or-or-or-”
“Sam, let me worry about it. You go to sleep,” says Dean, and then suddenly Sam is all the way on top of him, his hot skin pressed to Dean’s, and he’s squeezing his fingers-which suddenly seem startlingly unlike the little baby fingers that used to wrap around Dean’s own-over Dean’s eyelids. What the hell.
“Go to sleep!” Sam says, loud, frustrated, and he takes his hands from Dean’s eyes and presses them to the sides of his head. “I’ll pull the nightmares out,” he says, and Dean thinks he might have said the same thing to Sam, a very, very long time ago, and then Sam goes kind of boneless and flops on top of his brother. His socked feet scrub against Dean’s shins and their bare chests stick together miserably in the late-night heat. Sam lets out a little sigh against Dean’s neck, and his voice comes up right beside Dean’s ear.
“Can’t sleep if you don’t,” he mumbles, embarrassed, and Dean’s hand comes up automatically and settles on Sam’s shoulder. Sam is too heavy and way too big, shrimp that he is, to lie right on top of him like this, but the weight is actually relaxing him in increments, sending him a little deeper into the hard mattress. He closes his eyes, and by the time Sam snuffles a little and tucks himself into Dean’s shoulder and presses his nose into Dean’s neck, the movement is enough to jerk Dean from something deeper, like he was hovering right on the edge of sleep. He curls his body a little around Sam, on pure instinct, letting himself remember a time when Sam was smaller and clingy, never embarrassed or ashamed by his brother, or his need for his brother. He ducks his head, presses his nose to Sam’s dirty hair, remembers when he and Sam went from place to place holding hands, before their Dad began to wince and roll his eyes when they did it.
Dad would probably not think very highly of this, of Sam treating Dean like a pillow and Dean treating Sam like a teddy bear, and it’s too hot for this sort of thing anyway, and Dean’s eyes pop open again as a wave of heat and shame crash over him, but then it’s easy for Dean to match his breaths to Sam’s deep, even ones, and easier still to close his eyes and drift away.
Re: Fill part four, last partkallielAugust 30 2012, 21:14:30 UTC
You again! :DDD And un-anon! And ohhhhhh, I just adore this. Sam's various strategies make me feel like he's channeling Luna Lovegood before her time, ahahaha. XD Just adorable. But I especially love the way Dean thinks about Sam, here, and those rifts between young and younger, no longer a child, still very much a child--both in relation to Sam and himself, actually. Excellent, excellent work. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR FILLING THIS!!!!!!!! Epic Thursday made epic!
Re: Fill part four, last partsparrow_latelyAugust 30 2012, 21:41:45 UTC
*blushes* Well I'm so glad you liked it! I'm really attached to the idea that Sam was a weird, weird kid in his own quiet way, and also omg is that a Luna Lovegood comparison I see? *squee*
Re: Fill part four, last partsailoreyes67September 2 2012, 01:26:07 UTC
YES. YES. Oh my God, sweetest thing ever is right. :D
I love Sam so much here. SO---SO---ADORABLE! <3 And this:
He’s not sure how long he lies there, hot and miserable, old thoughts and fears-thoughts of fire, of his dad never returning, of CPS when they were younger, and of teachers whose eyes lingered too long on his bruises and the bags under his eyes, of being too stupid and useless to matter to Sam or Dad anymore, of letting Sam down so badly he leaves forever-clawing up to the surface of his thoughts. God, he was so hot.
“Sam,” he says instead, “that’ll just send all the blood to my head.”
“Hold your breath until you pass out and then sleep.”
“No, Sam.”
Sam makes an annoyed noise in the dark, and then he’s so quiet Dean thinks he might have dropped off to sleep. “Count sheep?” he suggests, very softly, and Dean doesn’t bother responding to that. There’s another long silence, wherein Dean’s mind is overtaken with the memory of his father’s stony silence as they drove back to the motel, the sheer weight of his disappointment suffocating the car, and then with the image of his father’s face streaked with blood as the little demon bitch smashed his head against the wall. He shudders.
“Maybe you could make a blindfold?” says Sammy, even more quietly. “Or-or-or-”
“Sam, let me worry about it. You go to sleep,” says Dean, and then suddenly Sam is all the way on top of him, his hot skin pressed to Dean’s, and he’s squeezing his fingers-which suddenly seem startlingly unlike the little baby fingers that used to wrap around Dean’s own-over Dean’s eyelids. What the hell.
“Go to sleep!” Sam says, loud, frustrated, and he takes his hands from Dean’s eyes and presses them to the sides of his head. “I’ll pull the nightmares out,” he says, and Dean thinks he might have said the same thing to Sam, a very, very long time ago, and then Sam goes kind of boneless and flops on top of his brother. His socked feet scrub against Dean’s shins and their bare chests stick together miserably in the late-night heat. Sam lets out a little sigh against Dean’s neck, and his voice comes up right beside Dean’s ear.
“Can’t sleep if you don’t,” he mumbles, embarrassed, and Dean’s hand comes up automatically and settles on Sam’s shoulder. Sam is too heavy and way too big, shrimp that he is, to lie right on top of him like this, but the weight is actually relaxing him in increments, sending him a little deeper into the hard mattress. He closes his eyes, and by the time Sam snuffles a little and tucks himself into Dean’s shoulder and presses his nose into Dean’s neck, the movement is enough to jerk Dean from something deeper, like he was hovering right on the edge of sleep. He curls his body a little around Sam, on pure instinct, letting himself remember a time when Sam was smaller and clingy, never embarrassed or ashamed by his brother, or his need for his brother. He ducks his head, presses his nose to Sam’s dirty hair, remembers when he and Sam went from place to place holding hands, before their Dad began to wince and roll his eyes when they did it.
Dad would probably not think very highly of this, of Sam treating Dean like a pillow and Dean treating Sam like a teddy bear, and it’s too hot for this sort of thing anyway, and Dean’s eyes pop open again as a wave of heat and shame crash over him, but then it’s easy for Dean to match his breaths to Sam’s deep, even ones, and easier still to close his eyes and drift away.
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Thank YOU so much for all your kind feedback!
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Your Sam is the most amazing thing everrr. I love him, and the way you've written Dean's anxiety. Wonderful fill!
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Thank you so much! Strange!wee!Sam is more fun than I anticipated. :)
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I love Sam so much here. SO---SO---ADORABLE! <3 And this:
He’s not sure how long he lies there, hot and miserable, old thoughts and fears-thoughts of fire, of his dad never returning, of CPS when they were younger, and of teachers whose eyes lingered too long on his bruises and the bags under his eyes, of being too stupid and useless to matter to Sam or Dad anymore, of letting Sam down so badly he leaves forever-clawing up to the surface of his thoughts. God, he was so hot.
♥ ♥
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I've discovered I like weird!wee!Sam, who wants to repay Dean for everything he does but is also still pretty much dependent on him.
Thanks for commenting, I'm so glad you liked it!
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