damn it all to hell.
I give up! I', getting really tired of always trying to please everybody. I havent slept well in days. I almost felt like colapsing the other day. I felt very faint. I'm too stressed out. My mom is at it again with the liquer. I have to work Christmas. The safe is short 800 dollars because of me, so if they dont find it I may be fired. Im madly in love with someone three thousand miles away from me. I dont get to have a christmas this year. I didn't have a thanksgiving. I never talk to Sandi anymore.... which really bugs me. I know she's moving up in the world, and I'm still at the bottom, but damn. I would like to think I still matter. Yeah.... I'm really pissed at my mom. I almost don't want to see her anymore. I'm having those feelings again that I had when I was 11. I hate that. She's starting all over again. Fuck me. It's never going to end. It's like a constant circle. I'm sure now my dad's gonna tell me what a fuck up I am for thinking that my mom had actully changed. That the choices I'm making arent right. And that if I cared about the family, that I had better start making some important decisions. I'll make one that everyone will not be able to argue with- .