The Sound of Silence
Things around here are going as they may, and having no internet at my new apartment means I lost track of posting. I did, however, manage to find a wordpress app for blackberry this weekend, so that may change.
Speaking of change...
The furry fam and I have gone through many ups and downs in the past few weeks. Burbear was having a hard time with life and I was at the end of my rope with him. Having a dog with impulse control aggression coupled with separation anxiety is absolutely exhausting, and similar to having a special needs child. I cannot leave him home alone while I work due to the possibility of him having a freak out and barking for hours upon hours, but I cannot hire someone to "just take him out" due to him wanting to eat other dogs. I hit rock bottom with it all and in a desperate attempt at normalcy made the decision to up his medication.
Hindsight being 20/20, it was a decision made out of desperation and in the week following I saw what kind of dog I could REALLY have. It made current Burbear look pretty awesome, and I take back some of the nasty things I may have said! The medication is back to its normal dosage and we are working with a trainer, one who has had an impulse control dog in her past, so we are on the same page and I am doing my best with what I have.
That aside, I am still trying to find my city legs. Everything is still foreign and I am mostly just shuttling back & forth to work and getting my apartment in shape. One box at a time....
My one box at a time philosophy made me realize one of the reasons I don't finish tasks: once the task is done, what now then?
After I came down from the excitement of finding a job & an apartment, I felt this incredible void. It made me think a lot about how I approach life, is it one goal after another after another, or am I taking the time to appreciate the accomplishment? Instead of facing that reality, I just don't finish it, that way I don't have to worry about what comes next. Ironically this all came together after I finished season 5 of House on my laptop and didn't have any new TV shows to watch and I panicked. That's when I realized I never wanted things to end so I wouldn't have to start something new.
I also inquired about a very sweet cat with a Toronto Rescue Agency, one that fit the bill in all respects: special needs, laid back, good with cats & dogs. But alas, he was being adopted. I just felt a kinship to him I guess.
I am gearing up my Christmas music, so excited to bust that out, and found some new albums to add to the mix this year. One of my current favs is A Christmas Duel with Cyndi Lauper & The Hives, which is in the vein of my all time fav Christmas Song Fairy Tale of New York.
I married you last year
Bet you thought I was sober, right?
But I was drunk as a skunk and I made a mistake
This could all have been over
Ah honey please dont excuse your behaviour
Cause I hired a hitman and changed your will
Its now all in my favour
So whatever you say, its all fine by me
Who the f@#k anyway wants a Christmas tree
Cause the snow keeps on fallin
Even though we were bad
Itll cover the filth, we should both just be glad
Speaking of change...
The furry fam and I have gone through many ups and downs in the past few weeks. Burbear was having a hard time with life and I was at the end of my rope with him. Having a dog with impulse control aggression coupled with separation anxiety is absolutely exhausting, and similar to having a special needs child. I cannot leave him home alone while I work due to the possibility of him having a freak out and barking for hours upon hours, but I cannot hire someone to "just take him out" due to him wanting to eat other dogs. I hit rock bottom with it all and in a desperate attempt at normalcy made the decision to up his medication.
Hindsight being 20/20, it was a decision made out of desperation and in the week following I saw what kind of dog I could REALLY have. It made current Burbear look pretty awesome, and I take back some of the nasty things I may have said! The medication is back to its normal dosage and we are working with a trainer, one who has had an impulse control dog in her past, so we are on the same page and I am doing my best with what I have.
That aside, I am still trying to find my city legs. Everything is still foreign and I am mostly just shuttling back & forth to work and getting my apartment in shape. One box at a time....
My one box at a time philosophy made me realize one of the reasons I don't finish tasks: once the task is done, what now then?
After I came down from the excitement of finding a job & an apartment, I felt this incredible void. It made me think a lot about how I approach life, is it one goal after another after another, or am I taking the time to appreciate the accomplishment? Instead of facing that reality, I just don't finish it, that way I don't have to worry about what comes next. Ironically this all came together after I finished season 5 of House on my laptop and didn't have any new TV shows to watch and I panicked. That's when I realized I never wanted things to end so I wouldn't have to start something new.
I also inquired about a very sweet cat with a Toronto Rescue Agency, one that fit the bill in all respects: special needs, laid back, good with cats & dogs. But alas, he was being adopted. I just felt a kinship to him I guess.
I am gearing up my Christmas music, so excited to bust that out, and found some new albums to add to the mix this year. One of my current favs is A Christmas Duel with Cyndi Lauper & The Hives, which is in the vein of my all time fav Christmas Song Fairy Tale of New York.
I married you last year
Bet you thought I was sober, right?
But I was drunk as a skunk and I made a mistake
This could all have been over
Ah honey please dont excuse your behaviour
Cause I hired a hitman and changed your will
Its now all in my favour
So whatever you say, its all fine by me
Who the f@#k anyway wants a Christmas tree
Cause the snow keeps on fallin
Even though we were bad
Itll cover the filth, we should both just be glad