Where do we go from here?
This Friday will mark 3 weeks since I set foot back in Ontario to start a new life from the ground up. It has been a surreal journey as time feels like it has just paused. I receive bills in the mail and I think, "Oh, really? Already?" Every morning I wake up seems much like the day before, as I sit there experiencing what it feels like to have one's head on sideways.
I have said many times that I believe in risks, that I never shy away from something just because I'm afraid. I live in a perpetual state of fear of the unknown, if I actually let it paralyze me I would never move forward. Instead I embrace my fear and try to use it as a motivating tool. But here I sit at a point in my life where I have stalled. I am unsure of how to move forward and with so many large choices, I am paralyzed by indecision and emotions.
To make a mountain of your life is just a choice
But I never learned enough to listen to the voice that told me
Always love, hate will get you every time.
Always love, don't wait till the finish line.
I think I have finally pinpointed a few key matters that I'm addressing and trying to move forward, baby steps, as a friend tells me. I've been trying to see more people who inspire me, keep my days fuller while looking for jobs and visualizing where things should go from here, along with keeping the "lines of discussion" open with the universe.
I've been held back by something
You said to me quietly on the stairs
I am preparing for an epic reunion with my good friend Andy Cole, and have been going through old photos, music and all things Andy. He inspired me to do many things, his music and the music he introduced me to have gotten me through many hard times, and the memory of my last night in town with him has not only lasted 8 years, but will last me (and inspire me through) many more.
Self-directed lives
I want to know what it'd be like to
Aim so high above
Any card that you get dealt you
Every day there are amazing reminders of why I made this choice, why it will eventually serve me and the world around me. But I will honestly confess that I didn't see what a slow, painful process it is to get there. Being an adult sucks, it's scary and overwhelming, while at the same time I can say I have never been prouder and more content with such a difficult choice.
Plus, everyone keeps telling me that it's at the last minute, when you're desperate, that everything manages to come together.
Ahem.
Waiting.
Originally published at katiehood.com.
I have said many times that I believe in risks, that I never shy away from something just because I'm afraid. I live in a perpetual state of fear of the unknown, if I actually let it paralyze me I would never move forward. Instead I embrace my fear and try to use it as a motivating tool. But here I sit at a point in my life where I have stalled. I am unsure of how to move forward and with so many large choices, I am paralyzed by indecision and emotions.
To make a mountain of your life is just a choice
But I never learned enough to listen to the voice that told me
Always love, hate will get you every time.
Always love, don't wait till the finish line.
I think I have finally pinpointed a few key matters that I'm addressing and trying to move forward, baby steps, as a friend tells me. I've been trying to see more people who inspire me, keep my days fuller while looking for jobs and visualizing where things should go from here, along with keeping the "lines of discussion" open with the universe.
I've been held back by something
You said to me quietly on the stairs
I am preparing for an epic reunion with my good friend Andy Cole, and have been going through old photos, music and all things Andy. He inspired me to do many things, his music and the music he introduced me to have gotten me through many hard times, and the memory of my last night in town with him has not only lasted 8 years, but will last me (and inspire me through) many more.
Self-directed lives
I want to know what it'd be like to
Aim so high above
Any card that you get dealt you
Every day there are amazing reminders of why I made this choice, why it will eventually serve me and the world around me. But I will honestly confess that I didn't see what a slow, painful process it is to get there. Being an adult sucks, it's scary and overwhelming, while at the same time I can say I have never been prouder and more content with such a difficult choice.
Plus, everyone keeps telling me that it's at the last minute, when you're desperate, that everything manages to come together.
Ahem.
Waiting.
Originally published at katiehood.com.