goodbye
Dear baby dog,
I remember when Mom brought home Georgie 5 or 6 years ago, he didn't really look like Georgie. He was all stiff and cold, very un-rabbit like, *very* un-Georgie like. I don't think you were ever around to experience George, but believe me, he was a very bouncy, very spry old bunny. You two probably would have gotten along, because you're(youwere) too stupid to realize that he's prey. He probably would have dominated you just like Tomo does(did), poor little kiddo.
So I'm trying not to think of you that way. I'm trying not to picture you in the vet's fridge, just cooling away until my parents let the hospital know what they want to do with you(yourbody). I'm trying not to think about the way you died, because it still makes me want to cry(itreallywasn'tfair). I'm trying to imagine just your body, 21 grams lighter, although in your case I'm sure it's more, because your heart was so goddamn big, and hearts and souls are connected.
It kills me that I couldn't be there, Micky. I'm so sorry you had to suffer all by yourself, even though I know Mom was there for a long time on your last day. I feel like I let you down; I was so scared something like this would happen. When I got the email about you being in the hospital, I thought about flying back home, but I knew, even then, that it was unrealistic. But I still wish I could have been there, baby. I'm your mom, or as close to it as a human can get to a dog. I know my heart is flawed and I'm not always good at loving things, but I was crazy about you. Tomo was crazy about you, too, which is a good indication that you were well worth loving. He knows how to pick his objects of affection. I'm pretty sure you won all our hearts over with your glaring innocence(stupidity) and good will. Even my dad, the man who said he hated dogs, who used to make fun of you for your glaring innocence(stupidity), cried when he talked to me yesterday. We all miss you, Micky. I just really wish I didn't have to miss you from so far away. God, I wish I could have been with you and held you when you went. Maybe then I would have felt those 21 grams float away. I could know for sure you're somewhere else(better).
Love always,
Your mom
I remember when Mom brought home Georgie 5 or 6 years ago, he didn't really look like Georgie. He was all stiff and cold, very un-rabbit like, *very* un-Georgie like. I don't think you were ever around to experience George, but believe me, he was a very bouncy, very spry old bunny. You two probably would have gotten along, because you're(youwere) too stupid to realize that he's prey. He probably would have dominated you just like Tomo does(did), poor little kiddo.
So I'm trying not to think of you that way. I'm trying not to picture you in the vet's fridge, just cooling away until my parents let the hospital know what they want to do with you(yourbody). I'm trying not to think about the way you died, because it still makes me want to cry(itreallywasn'tfair). I'm trying to imagine just your body, 21 grams lighter, although in your case I'm sure it's more, because your heart was so goddamn big, and hearts and souls are connected.
It kills me that I couldn't be there, Micky. I'm so sorry you had to suffer all by yourself, even though I know Mom was there for a long time on your last day. I feel like I let you down; I was so scared something like this would happen. When I got the email about you being in the hospital, I thought about flying back home, but I knew, even then, that it was unrealistic. But I still wish I could have been there, baby. I'm your mom, or as close to it as a human can get to a dog. I know my heart is flawed and I'm not always good at loving things, but I was crazy about you. Tomo was crazy about you, too, which is a good indication that you were well worth loving. He knows how to pick his objects of affection. I'm pretty sure you won all our hearts over with your glaring innocence(stupidity) and good will. Even my dad, the man who said he hated dogs, who used to make fun of you for your glaring innocence(stupidity), cried when he talked to me yesterday. We all miss you, Micky. I just really wish I didn't have to miss you from so far away. God, I wish I could have been with you and held you when you went. Maybe then I would have felt those 21 grams float away. I could know for sure you're somewhere else(better).
Love always,
Your mom