More cliches!
First, for lizbet0, the ever-popular sex pollen, starring Amy, Rory and Eleven:
Title: Sex Pollen and the Ponds
Rating: Teen-ish for innuendo and married people making out
Characters/Pairing: Amy/Rory, Eleven
Summary: What it says on the tin.
Patiently, though not without a few choice words, the Doctor herded his young companions back to the TARDIS. They were too busy giggling and groping each other (and, on occasion, him) to pay much attention to anything else.
"It's really a very ingenious bit of evolutionary adaptation," he said, more to keep himself sane than to try and educate. "The plezak plant - hands, Pond - doses any mammal that comes into contact with it with the pollen, and then - hands, Rory - the plezak beast has an easy kill. It's immune to the pollen, of course, but its comings and goings through the groves help to pollinate the plants, not to mention the fertilizer it provides them with. For some reason, you primates - into the TARDIS, there's a good girl - are especially particularly susceptible. Oh, for the Other's sake, not on the floor, you two!"
"What?" mumbled Rory around a mouthful of his wife's flesh.
Amy burst into giggles again. "Tell me, are Time Lords susceptible to-" Her voice dropped an octave. "-sex pollen?"
"Not in the least," said the Doctor, attempting to usher them into the hallway that led to their bedroom.
That made Amy laugh even harder, for some reason. "Really? Would River agree with that?"
He sighed. His TARDIS was laughing at him, he just knew it. "If River has found a type of 'sex pollen', as you so crudely put it, that works on Time Lords, she has thus far not mentioned it to me, and, as it seems the sort of thing she'd love to twit me about, I think I can safely say that such a thing does not exist." He gave them a light shove. "Go on, you two. It will work its way out of your systems in a few hours. You may have a lingering headache, drymouth and oddly-colored urine."
Amy and Rory stumbled through their door, which closed behind them. There was a muffled thump and a delighted Pondish shriek from inside, and the Doctor quickly walked away.
Humans. How they managed to find these things was beyond him, but he'd hardly had a companion who hadn't. One of these days, he'd have to look into it.
***
And more sex pollen, this time Ten/Jack, for lt_kitty:
Title: Amateur Mistake
Rating: Teen
Characters/Pairing: Ten/Jack
Summary: Only the direst of emergencies could bring the Doctor to Jack's door. He managed to find one.
Very late one night, Jack was pulled from bed by the sound of the TARDIS materializing in the Hub. That was worrisome. He couldn't imagine the Doctor coming to him except in the most dire of emergencies, and probably not even then. Fortunately, Ianto had gone home, and Jack was alone. He pulled on some clothes and went up to find out what could be the matter.
The Doctor came bursting out of the TARDIS, disheveled and clearly agitated and talking a mile a minute.
"Jack! I'm glad to see you, because I really don't know what else to do in this case. Donna and I were enjoying a nice, sunny day on Mandacor - well, when I say 'enjoying' I possibly mean 'starting a revolution', though it was hardly my fault it happened, even if I was the catalyst, but I digress. The point is, one of the old guard of the perfectly useless Hegemon played dirty. Really, is there no class anymore? I didn't think it would affect me, but it did, and even after I explained to Donna what had happened, she flatly refused and told me I needed better chat-up lines. So I went to Martha. She laughed in my face! And told me she was engaged! And then shut the door on me! Rude! So I thought to myself, 'Well, Jack is bound to have experience in these matters, more than a little, if I know him, and it's entirely possible he fancies me, so why not try?' And here I am."
Jack patiently pieced together a few facts from the Doctor's semi-coherent ramble, and a grin spread across his face. "Doctor, did you get dosed with Mandacorian sex pollen?"
The Doctor rubbed the back of his neck and mumbled something that sounded affirmative.
Jack couldn't help laughing, and laughed harder at the Doctor's wounded look. "Oh, Doctor, that is an amateur mistake! Sort of a rite of passage for Time Agents, though. You just can't avoid sex pollen in some sectors of the galaxy."
"Lovely." The Doctor's expression said he did not see the humor in the situation. "And did the great Time Agency have an antagonist for the dreadful stuff?"
"Nope!" said Jack almost cheerfully. "It's a great distraction, but hardly deadly. Basically, if you got hit with it, you worked it off with a friend and bought a round of drinks to keep everyone else from making fun of you for life."
The Doctor slumped a bit. "Erm, well, would you consider, ah . . ."
"Helping a fellow out?" Jack sauntered over to the Doctor. "Don't I have to buy you a drink first?"
"We'll put that condition into abeyance for now," said the Doctor, eyes darkening perceptibly.
"In that case--" Jack kissed the Time Lord deeply and found the kiss returned with interest. "Step into my parlor."
Title: Sex Pollen and the Ponds
Rating: Teen-ish for innuendo and married people making out
Characters/Pairing: Amy/Rory, Eleven
Summary: What it says on the tin.
Patiently, though not without a few choice words, the Doctor herded his young companions back to the TARDIS. They were too busy giggling and groping each other (and, on occasion, him) to pay much attention to anything else.
"It's really a very ingenious bit of evolutionary adaptation," he said, more to keep himself sane than to try and educate. "The plezak plant - hands, Pond - doses any mammal that comes into contact with it with the pollen, and then - hands, Rory - the plezak beast has an easy kill. It's immune to the pollen, of course, but its comings and goings through the groves help to pollinate the plants, not to mention the fertilizer it provides them with. For some reason, you primates - into the TARDIS, there's a good girl - are especially particularly susceptible. Oh, for the Other's sake, not on the floor, you two!"
"What?" mumbled Rory around a mouthful of his wife's flesh.
Amy burst into giggles again. "Tell me, are Time Lords susceptible to-" Her voice dropped an octave. "-sex pollen?"
"Not in the least," said the Doctor, attempting to usher them into the hallway that led to their bedroom.
That made Amy laugh even harder, for some reason. "Really? Would River agree with that?"
He sighed. His TARDIS was laughing at him, he just knew it. "If River has found a type of 'sex pollen', as you so crudely put it, that works on Time Lords, she has thus far not mentioned it to me, and, as it seems the sort of thing she'd love to twit me about, I think I can safely say that such a thing does not exist." He gave them a light shove. "Go on, you two. It will work its way out of your systems in a few hours. You may have a lingering headache, drymouth and oddly-colored urine."
Amy and Rory stumbled through their door, which closed behind them. There was a muffled thump and a delighted Pondish shriek from inside, and the Doctor quickly walked away.
Humans. How they managed to find these things was beyond him, but he'd hardly had a companion who hadn't. One of these days, he'd have to look into it.
***
And more sex pollen, this time Ten/Jack, for lt_kitty:
Title: Amateur Mistake
Rating: Teen
Characters/Pairing: Ten/Jack
Summary: Only the direst of emergencies could bring the Doctor to Jack's door. He managed to find one.
Very late one night, Jack was pulled from bed by the sound of the TARDIS materializing in the Hub. That was worrisome. He couldn't imagine the Doctor coming to him except in the most dire of emergencies, and probably not even then. Fortunately, Ianto had gone home, and Jack was alone. He pulled on some clothes and went up to find out what could be the matter.
The Doctor came bursting out of the TARDIS, disheveled and clearly agitated and talking a mile a minute.
"Jack! I'm glad to see you, because I really don't know what else to do in this case. Donna and I were enjoying a nice, sunny day on Mandacor - well, when I say 'enjoying' I possibly mean 'starting a revolution', though it was hardly my fault it happened, even if I was the catalyst, but I digress. The point is, one of the old guard of the perfectly useless Hegemon played dirty. Really, is there no class anymore? I didn't think it would affect me, but it did, and even after I explained to Donna what had happened, she flatly refused and told me I needed better chat-up lines. So I went to Martha. She laughed in my face! And told me she was engaged! And then shut the door on me! Rude! So I thought to myself, 'Well, Jack is bound to have experience in these matters, more than a little, if I know him, and it's entirely possible he fancies me, so why not try?' And here I am."
Jack patiently pieced together a few facts from the Doctor's semi-coherent ramble, and a grin spread across his face. "Doctor, did you get dosed with Mandacorian sex pollen?"
The Doctor rubbed the back of his neck and mumbled something that sounded affirmative.
Jack couldn't help laughing, and laughed harder at the Doctor's wounded look. "Oh, Doctor, that is an amateur mistake! Sort of a rite of passage for Time Agents, though. You just can't avoid sex pollen in some sectors of the galaxy."
"Lovely." The Doctor's expression said he did not see the humor in the situation. "And did the great Time Agency have an antagonist for the dreadful stuff?"
"Nope!" said Jack almost cheerfully. "It's a great distraction, but hardly deadly. Basically, if you got hit with it, you worked it off with a friend and bought a round of drinks to keep everyone else from making fun of you for life."
The Doctor slumped a bit. "Erm, well, would you consider, ah . . ."
"Helping a fellow out?" Jack sauntered over to the Doctor. "Don't I have to buy you a drink first?"
"We'll put that condition into abeyance for now," said the Doctor, eyes darkening perceptibly.
"In that case--" Jack kissed the Time Lord deeply and found the kiss returned with interest. "Step into my parlor."