Honorificus (The Disturbingly Delicious One) speaks!
You may hold your applause. I have indeed returned to grace you all with my insights into literary symbolism, demon society, and fashion. This time around, we must consider the episodes "Lineage" and "Destiny." Spoilers, for those of you with the mental capacity of the average human, will abound. First, "Lineage":
Fashion Statements
The Good
Wesley was a picture. Did you see those colors and what they did for his eyes? I could have just eaten him up. In a good way, of course.
Gunn continues to look good in suits. He's choosing nummy ties. Still, it's a tad safe. Some brighter colors are needed--at his age and with his looks, he can handle them.
The Bad
Wyndam-Pryce Sr. The Watcher Academy must have an entire course on dressing like a fossil.
Fred's frankly wimpy outfit with its frankly wimpy colors. Pastels make me gag.
The ninja-bots. That's what a well-dressed cyborg is wearing nowadays? I think not. I, for one, know plenty of well-dressed cyborgs. Those ones looked like Goth Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Knox's jacket. Eugh. Who told him that thing would make him look cool?
The Iffy
Angel. *Yawn!* Speaking of someone who needs color in his life . . .
Plot in a Nutshell
Wesley's "father" drops by with a bunch of cyborgs in an attempt to make Angel even more boring than usual. This leads to all kinds of interesting developments, including an attempted patricide. Good times!
Demonic Quibbles & Comments
Not much except that Roger Wyndam-Pryce rather reminds me of my secondary sire. It was *fun* killing and devouring the old windbag, I'm telling you.
Body Count
Lots of cyborgs.
Possibly a few W&H extras.
Wesley's ego.
One ersatz Wyndam-Pryce.
HoYay! Factor
4.5 for Angel chewing out Wesley and Spike attempting to make friendly conversation with him. Frankly, not much, which is unfortunate.
Highlights
Wesley with guns. That just never gets old.
Fred getting shot.
Lorne entertaining Roger Wyndam-Spyte. Of course, now I'm having strange mental images about Judi Dench. Hm.
Spike not caring about Eve in the elevator.
Wesley and dear ol' Dad tearing into each other. That's quality family television, I'm telling you.
Attempted patricide! Wesley emptied his gun into what he thought was his father. I can't tell you how hot I found that. Yummy!
Angel and Spike trying to make Wesley feel better. Aren't they just adorable?
Lowlights
The idiot weapons dealer at the beginning. That man just has no clue how to be intimidating.
Fred surviving. Bleh.
Wyndam-Pryce Sr. I just don't like him. He's an arrogant, emasculating, spiteful old bastard, and yet something about him still puts me off. Perhaps I'm just too fond of Wesley to appreciate the old man. It's a weakness of mine.
No real patricide. Boo. That would've been far more interesting than the cheat, IMHO.
Knox and his horrible leather jacket taking Fred home. Come on--she can't find him more attractive than Wesley, can she?
Burning Questions
Did anybody--anybody at all--think of contacting one Captain Riley Finn over this little incident?
Just how hard does Spike have to concentrate to affect things?
Why does Angel have to have that tiresome chivalrous streak? Couldn't Darla have beaten it out of him?
The Immoral of the Story
Never ask a vampire for advice on how to deal with your family unless you want far too much information.
Overall Rating
An interesting one. It featured Wesley more than Angel, which was definitely a plus, but they chickened out of real patricide. I guess that would leave it at one-fifteenth of a blue carrot with a sconce on the Non Sequitur Scale.
On to "Destiny," my beloved fiends!
Fashion Statements
The Good
Fred's hair was a picture. Someone's been listening to me urge a bit more body for the Thin Woman.
Gunn without the ever-present jacket. The man's looking good, I tell you. Can't they lose the shirt occasionally?
Eve's red dress. Looked nicely expensive and flattered her, and as I always say, you just can't get enough red on a girl.
Spike surrounding himself with a red Viper. That's class.
Angelus, especially mid-coitus. That man knew how to dress, I'm telling you. Must've been Darla's influence.
Drusilla in her Victorian undies. She looked so sweet!
Angel and Spike, bloody and battered. That look never goes out of style on a man.
Lindsey in tattoos and nothing else. *Sigh!*
The Bad
Harmony in that blue horror. Someone desperately needs to take her aside and teach her how the well-heeled vampiress should present herself.
Angel and Spike's looks have officially crossed the line from "tired" to "bad." Would someone please give their wardrobes a kick in the unvaryingly-black trousers?
Angelus' wig. Again I ask: is there a bad wig that hasn't attacked David Boreanaz's head?
Young William's sartorial choices. Did the CoW circa 1880 dress him?
Plot in a Nutshell
Spike goes corporeal in a mysterious flash of light, which then causes the universe to go wonky. As if that's not enough, Angel and Spike buy a line of hooey about a "Cup of Sorrows" and go off to beat each other up while revisiting old grievances over a cup of Mountain Dew. It all ends with a rather pleasant surprise.
Demonic Quibbles and Comments
To me, the symbols painted all over Eve's apartment and the man ensconced within it looked like protection runes. That would make sense if our lovebirds are trying to run under the Senior Partners' radar.
Body Count
Assorted Victorians.
William's ego.
HoYay! Factor
Off the charts. Angelus and William meet and immediately start steaming things up. Then Angel and Spike beat each other to bloody pulp. Nothing but fun there!
Highlights
Angel and Spike beating the stuffing out of each other.
The revelation that Angel and Spike are driving the universe nuts.
Angel and Spike beating the crap out of each other.
Angelus and Spike meeting for the first time. Angelus' "deviant" comment. Yummy!
Angel and Spike beating the hell out of each other.
Gunn throttling Eve.
Angel and Spike beating the bejeezus out of each other.
Angelus teaching William the facts of unlife in his inimitable way.
Angel and Spike beating the unlife out of each other while ripping into each other about . . . well, just about everything.
Lindsey's surprise appearance. That's how you end an episode!
Lowlights
Harmony's outfit. Could they have gotten any wimpier? Yes, as a matter of fact--her hair.
No Wesley! No fair!
Nope. Can't get over the dearth of Wesley.
Burning Questions
Precisely what do Spike's Oedipal issues explain to Harmony?
Was it just me, or was Angelus seriously coming on to young William?
Was that a threesome he was trying to provoke at the end?
What are Eve and Lindsey up to?
Why did Spike have to shag Harmony first thing?
WHY NO WESLEY?!?!?
The Immoral of the Story
If you want to Shanshu, do the Dew.
Overall Rating
I liked so much about this one, but NO WESLEY! Therefore, the highest rating I can give it is a shiny tulip bulb divided by purple on the Non Sequitur Scale.
Read. Enjoy. Toady.
Fashion Statements
The Good
Wesley was a picture. Did you see those colors and what they did for his eyes? I could have just eaten him up. In a good way, of course.
Gunn continues to look good in suits. He's choosing nummy ties. Still, it's a tad safe. Some brighter colors are needed--at his age and with his looks, he can handle them.
The Bad
Wyndam-Pryce Sr. The Watcher Academy must have an entire course on dressing like a fossil.
Fred's frankly wimpy outfit with its frankly wimpy colors. Pastels make me gag.
The ninja-bots. That's what a well-dressed cyborg is wearing nowadays? I think not. I, for one, know plenty of well-dressed cyborgs. Those ones looked like Goth Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Knox's jacket. Eugh. Who told him that thing would make him look cool?
The Iffy
Angel. *Yawn!* Speaking of someone who needs color in his life . . .
Plot in a Nutshell
Wesley's "father" drops by with a bunch of cyborgs in an attempt to make Angel even more boring than usual. This leads to all kinds of interesting developments, including an attempted patricide. Good times!
Demonic Quibbles & Comments
Not much except that Roger Wyndam-Pryce rather reminds me of my secondary sire. It was *fun* killing and devouring the old windbag, I'm telling you.
Body Count
Lots of cyborgs.
Possibly a few W&H extras.
Wesley's ego.
One ersatz Wyndam-Pryce.
HoYay! Factor
4.5 for Angel chewing out Wesley and Spike attempting to make friendly conversation with him. Frankly, not much, which is unfortunate.
Highlights
Wesley with guns. That just never gets old.
Fred getting shot.
Lorne entertaining Roger Wyndam-Spyte. Of course, now I'm having strange mental images about Judi Dench. Hm.
Spike not caring about Eve in the elevator.
Wesley and dear ol' Dad tearing into each other. That's quality family television, I'm telling you.
Attempted patricide! Wesley emptied his gun into what he thought was his father. I can't tell you how hot I found that. Yummy!
Angel and Spike trying to make Wesley feel better. Aren't they just adorable?
Lowlights
The idiot weapons dealer at the beginning. That man just has no clue how to be intimidating.
Fred surviving. Bleh.
Wyndam-Pryce Sr. I just don't like him. He's an arrogant, emasculating, spiteful old bastard, and yet something about him still puts me off. Perhaps I'm just too fond of Wesley to appreciate the old man. It's a weakness of mine.
No real patricide. Boo. That would've been far more interesting than the cheat, IMHO.
Knox and his horrible leather jacket taking Fred home. Come on--she can't find him more attractive than Wesley, can she?
Burning Questions
Did anybody--anybody at all--think of contacting one Captain Riley Finn over this little incident?
Just how hard does Spike have to concentrate to affect things?
Why does Angel have to have that tiresome chivalrous streak? Couldn't Darla have beaten it out of him?
The Immoral of the Story
Never ask a vampire for advice on how to deal with your family unless you want far too much information.
Overall Rating
An interesting one. It featured Wesley more than Angel, which was definitely a plus, but they chickened out of real patricide. I guess that would leave it at one-fifteenth of a blue carrot with a sconce on the Non Sequitur Scale.
On to "Destiny," my beloved fiends!
Fashion Statements
The Good
Fred's hair was a picture. Someone's been listening to me urge a bit more body for the Thin Woman.
Gunn without the ever-present jacket. The man's looking good, I tell you. Can't they lose the shirt occasionally?
Eve's red dress. Looked nicely expensive and flattered her, and as I always say, you just can't get enough red on a girl.
Spike surrounding himself with a red Viper. That's class.
Angelus, especially mid-coitus. That man knew how to dress, I'm telling you. Must've been Darla's influence.
Drusilla in her Victorian undies. She looked so sweet!
Angel and Spike, bloody and battered. That look never goes out of style on a man.
Lindsey in tattoos and nothing else. *Sigh!*
The Bad
Harmony in that blue horror. Someone desperately needs to take her aside and teach her how the well-heeled vampiress should present herself.
Angel and Spike's looks have officially crossed the line from "tired" to "bad." Would someone please give their wardrobes a kick in the unvaryingly-black trousers?
Angelus' wig. Again I ask: is there a bad wig that hasn't attacked David Boreanaz's head?
Young William's sartorial choices. Did the CoW circa 1880 dress him?
Plot in a Nutshell
Spike goes corporeal in a mysterious flash of light, which then causes the universe to go wonky. As if that's not enough, Angel and Spike buy a line of hooey about a "Cup of Sorrows" and go off to beat each other up while revisiting old grievances over a cup of Mountain Dew. It all ends with a rather pleasant surprise.
Demonic Quibbles and Comments
To me, the symbols painted all over Eve's apartment and the man ensconced within it looked like protection runes. That would make sense if our lovebirds are trying to run under the Senior Partners' radar.
Body Count
Assorted Victorians.
William's ego.
HoYay! Factor
Off the charts. Angelus and William meet and immediately start steaming things up. Then Angel and Spike beat each other to bloody pulp. Nothing but fun there!
Highlights
Angel and Spike beating the stuffing out of each other.
The revelation that Angel and Spike are driving the universe nuts.
Angel and Spike beating the crap out of each other.
Angelus and Spike meeting for the first time. Angelus' "deviant" comment. Yummy!
Angel and Spike beating the hell out of each other.
Gunn throttling Eve.
Angel and Spike beating the bejeezus out of each other.
Angelus teaching William the facts of unlife in his inimitable way.
Angel and Spike beating the unlife out of each other while ripping into each other about . . . well, just about everything.
Lindsey's surprise appearance. That's how you end an episode!
Lowlights
Harmony's outfit. Could they have gotten any wimpier? Yes, as a matter of fact--her hair.
No Wesley! No fair!
Nope. Can't get over the dearth of Wesley.
Burning Questions
Precisely what do Spike's Oedipal issues explain to Harmony?
Was it just me, or was Angelus seriously coming on to young William?
Was that a threesome he was trying to provoke at the end?
What are Eve and Lindsey up to?
Why did Spike have to shag Harmony first thing?
WHY NO WESLEY?!?!?
The Immoral of the Story
If you want to Shanshu, do the Dew.
Overall Rating
I liked so much about this one, but NO WESLEY! Therefore, the highest rating I can give it is a shiny tulip bulb divided by purple on the Non Sequitur Scale.
Read. Enjoy. Toady.