How am I supposed to carry on? I find myself singing the same old song
FI
NA
LLY
Day 10 - A photo of you taken over ten years ago
This was at our old house...er, apartment. I think I was 2 or 3. I don't know what I was doing or where we were going that day, so I'm glad this photo was saved. I didn't want to use my scanner so I just took a pic of it, so that's why it's a little wonky. xDD Actually, it's pretty wonky already. You can't see it 'cause I only took a picture of the middle part, but there are some stains on the sides of the photo. I think you can see one on my forehead.
Day 11 - A photo of you taken recently
...that one with me with my curls is the most recent one. :D;
Day 12 - Whatever tickles your fancy
I hate that I was a few days behind so I have to stuff so many days worth of posts into one. Sorry!
Day 13 - A fictional book
A fictional book as in a book that is within a fictional story? Or...just a fictional book? ...I'll assume the latter, yeaaaah.
I just spent a few minutes looking through my bookshelf. I guess I'll talk about...
Here's a summary from amazon:
The folks on Hackett Island, near Philadelphia, are not too friendly to newcomers. Anyone the slightest bit different is eyed with suspicion, as Claire found out when she missed a year of junior high due to leukemia. Now she works hard at fitting in, following treacherous but popular Macy's lead, hiding her passion for the guitar, and never talking about her fear that her illness will return. Or her nightmares. Or her eating disorder. The boys of Hackett Island's "in" crowd are members of the "fish frat"--hunky sons of the local fishermen--and their horseplay even among themselves is brutal and edge-of-danger.
And then Lani Garver shows up at school, a tall, thin, strangely androgynous person. "No. Not a girl. Sorry," he says pleasantly when Macy questions him about his gender with vicious curiosity. But Claire, much to Macy's disgust, is drawn to Lani, and his wisdom and kindness begins to heal her. He takes her to Philadelphia to meet his artistic friends, talks sense to her about her eating disorder and her blind devotion to Macy, finds her a therapist. Who is this Lani Garver? He resists "boxes" like "gay." Even his age is a mystery to Claire. Strangest of all, could he be a "floating angel," as his friends at the hospital seem to believe? Meanwhile, the fish frat are closing in for the kill, and when their harassment turns lethal, Lani shows a terrible side of himself Claire has never seen.
This is a pretty damn good book. I read it in high school but I'm gonna give it another go sometime soon. It's different, unique, and awesome, much like Lani. I remember I had a hard time putting it down, and even almost let out a "FUCK YEAH" in the middle of silent reading when I reached this certain part of the novel.
Seriously guys, I highly recommend this.
Day 14 - A non-fictional book
But...all I got are like...textbooks. D8
I don't wanna talk about textbooks. D8
How about I just tell you what they are?
English:
The Presence of Others by Andrea Lunsford
Philippine History:
Philippines: A Unique Nation by Sonia M. Zaide
A History of the Philippines by Renato Constantino
Political Science:
Struggle for Democracy: Greenburg somethingsomething
Asian American History:
Strangers from a Different Shore by Ronald Tataki
See? Nothing exciting except for some essays in Presence of Others.
Day 15 - A fanfic
I don't read fanfiction as often as I used to anymore. Er, rather, I don't actively seek out any. I used to browse ff.net often to read something.
Nowadays, I just join general fandom communities and look at fics of whatever people posted if they interest me.
I like the Well-Woven Net series by jenovan over at levalier_house. It's a Dragon Age fanfic series that follows her male City Elf named Alessar and his warden adventures. It centers on his relationship with Zevran and I like reading it a lot. :3
There's also Soul Shadow by Halo Bender, who you might have seen at deviantart. I love that Zelda fic so much. He hasn't updated it in a while, but it still pretty good. I hope he starts on it again. Check out his site at bent-halo.net. Bender writes fics for other series too, including Good Omens. x3
There are others, I think. But those are the most recent.
Day 16 - A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Uh...none that are like...automatic tear shedding or anything. But I do know some pretty sad songs. Let's see...
Depeche Mode - Somebody
I want somebody to share
share the rest of my life
share my innermost thoughts
know my intimate details
someone who'll stand by my side
and give me support
and in return
she'll get my support
she will listen to me
when I want to speak
about the world we live in
and life in general
though my views may be wrong
they may even be perverted
she'll hear me out
and won't easily be converted
to my way of thinking
in fact she'll often disagree
but at the end of it all
she will understand me
I want somebody who cares
for me passionately
with every thought
and with every breath
someone who'll help me see things
in a different light
all the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
to anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to stay clear
of those things
and when I'm asleep
I want somebody
who will put their arms around me
and kiss me tenderly
though things like this make me sick
in a case like this
I'll get away with it
This arrangement sounds different from the original though. o_O But it's the only one I can find that isn't live or a cover.
Guns n' Roses - Patience
(1..2...1,2,3,4)
Shed a tear 'cause I'm missing you
I'm still alright to smile
Girl, I think about you every day now
Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt you're in my heart now
Said woman take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said sugar make it slow
And we'll come together fine
All we need is just a little patience
(inhale) Patience...
Ooh, oh, yeah
Sit here on the stairs
'Cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now, I'll wait dear
Sometimes, I get so tense
But I can't speed up the time
But you know, love, there's one more thing to consider
Said woman take it slow
Things will be just fine
You and I'll just use a little patience
Said sugar take the time
'Cause the lights are shining bright
You and I've got what it takes to make it
We won't fake it, Oh never break it
'Cause I can't take it
...little patience, mm yeah, ooh yeah,
Need a little patience, yeah
Just a little patience, yeah
Some more pati... (ence, yeah)
I've been walking these streets at night
Just trying to get it right (Need some patience, yeah)
It's hard to see with so many around
You know I don't like being stuck in a crowd (Could use some patience, yeah)
And the streets don't change but maybe the name
I ain't got time for the game
'Cause I need you (Patience, yeah)
Yeah, yeah well I need you
Oh, I need you (Take some patience)
Whoa, I need you (Just a little patience is all we need)
Ooh, this ti- me...
Hurray, a song from childhood! This isn't something my brother would blare out of his music player though, since it's not a fun head banging song or anything. I guess this song isn't so much as grieving sad, but just missing someone.
When most people think of GnR, they think of Welcome to the Jungle. I think of this. And November Rain.
I love how chill Slash looks. Then again, he always looks chill.
Se7en - Come Back to Me (English version)
So hard not to think about it
It's every step I take
And heaven knows I'm trying
But it gets awfully hard
When your heart is this broken
Visions of your lovely face
As I awake, I have this feeling
That you're here and beside me
How silly of me, I know
all the pain will go away
so I say it, here I am again
I gotta face another day
I'm so tired, I need u once again oh baby
How am I suppose to carry on,
I find myself singing the same old song
If you hear me, have it in ur heart
but please come back to me (oh baby)
I'll be right here if you need someone
If you hold another I'll be moving on
As easy as said
Just hope that I can see the road
Oh how it's been so long
It seems a lifetime passed
These memories that linger,
soon as I think they have gone
they only gotten stronger
And so I'm getting through a day
but every move was made was always you and I together
It's hard to believe im lonely
Is there gonna be a day
I can see the word to make me better
I know there has to be a way
So if you listen and hear me out girl, baby
How am I suppose to carry on,
I find myself singing the same old song
If you hear me, have it in your heart
but please come back to me (oh baby)
I'll be right here if you need someone
if u hold another one i'll be moving on
as easy as said
just hope that i can see the road
you're one in a million,
dunno how we got so wrong
I thought it was so simple then
now I know, now I know, how it goes
to let it go
Can there be a chance for you and I?
Before I really make up my mind
oh how I miss you
I never would kiss you
I'm speaking it from my heart
How am I suppose to carry on,
I find myself singing the same old song
If you hear me, have it in you heart
I'll be right here if you need someone
if you hold another I'll be moving on
just hope that I can see the road
come back to me baby
Granted that 90% of his songs are break up songs, Se7en's one of the few Asian singers I can think of who can sing in English well. And his English version of this song is pretty awesome. The part at 3:05 is pretty sad.
Okay, love and break ups aside, let's find a song that actually involves the self-esteem (or lack of) of an individual.
Darren Hayes - Unlovable
Are my lips unkissable?
Are my eyes unlookable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Am I unlovable?
Cynical, jaded, faithless, disappointed, disillusioned, used
If I could take back all my sweat, my tears, my sex, my joy I would
My time, my love, my effort, passion, dedication
In case of mistaken identity I gave these things to you
If I sound angry, bitter, sad, infatuated, it's the truth
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, just a few
Stages of acceptance that it's really over
It's just so complicated and I'm stupid for believing in you
You make me feel like my father never loved me
You make me feel like the act of love is empty
Am I so unlovable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you don't like?
I had your back, I held you up, I told you you were good enough
It was not reciprocated, you kept affection and yourself apart
You fed your love to me like crumbs to pigeons in the park
Sometimes I think you're satisfied to see me begging like a dog
I wasn't armoured, you were king, I gave my everything
Because sometimes you showed me just a hint of you and then
For just a moment I romanticised the notion
I can take away the torment, I can love you like they never did
You make me feel like my father never loved me (you never loved me)
You make me feel like the act of love is empty (I felt so empty)
Am I so unlovable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you don't like?
You make me feel like my mother, she abandoned me (you abandoned me)
You make me feel like the act of love is empty (I felt so empty)
Am I so unlovable?
Is my heart unbreakable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you despise?
Are my lips unkissable?
Are my eyes unlookable?
Is my sex undoable?
Am I unlovable?
Are my words unlistenable?
Are my hands untouchable?
Am I undesirable?
Am I unlovable?
You make me feel like my father never loved me
You make me feel like the act of love is empty
Am I so unlovable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you don't like?
You make me feel like my father never loved me (you never loved me)
You make me feel like the act of love is empty (I felt so empty)
Am I so unlovable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you don't like?
You make me feel like my mother, she abandoned me (you abandoned me)
You make me feel like the act of love is empty (I felt so empty)
Am I so unlovable?
Is my heart unbreakable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you despise?
You make me feel like my father never loved me (you never loved me)
You make me feel like my mother, she abandoned me (you abandoned me)
You make me feel like my father never loved me (you never loved me)
You make me feel like my mother, she abandoned me (you abandoned me)
I think he's talking about an ex or something. I usually think of people who went from being a friend to a cold hearted mean person thing. Or my spirit-crushing brother and mother. People such as that.
FUCK THAT WAS LONG.
NA
LLY
Day 10 - A photo of you taken over ten years ago
This was at our old house...er, apartment. I think I was 2 or 3. I don't know what I was doing or where we were going that day, so I'm glad this photo was saved. I didn't want to use my scanner so I just took a pic of it, so that's why it's a little wonky. xDD Actually, it's pretty wonky already. You can't see it 'cause I only took a picture of the middle part, but there are some stains on the sides of the photo. I think you can see one on my forehead.
Day 11 - A photo of you taken recently
...that one with me with my curls is the most recent one. :D;
Day 12 - Whatever tickles your fancy
I hate that I was a few days behind so I have to stuff so many days worth of posts into one. Sorry!
Day 13 - A fictional book
A fictional book as in a book that is within a fictional story? Or...just a fictional book? ...I'll assume the latter, yeaaaah.
I just spent a few minutes looking through my bookshelf. I guess I'll talk about...
Here's a summary from amazon:
The folks on Hackett Island, near Philadelphia, are not too friendly to newcomers. Anyone the slightest bit different is eyed with suspicion, as Claire found out when she missed a year of junior high due to leukemia. Now she works hard at fitting in, following treacherous but popular Macy's lead, hiding her passion for the guitar, and never talking about her fear that her illness will return. Or her nightmares. Or her eating disorder. The boys of Hackett Island's "in" crowd are members of the "fish frat"--hunky sons of the local fishermen--and their horseplay even among themselves is brutal and edge-of-danger.
And then Lani Garver shows up at school, a tall, thin, strangely androgynous person. "No. Not a girl. Sorry," he says pleasantly when Macy questions him about his gender with vicious curiosity. But Claire, much to Macy's disgust, is drawn to Lani, and his wisdom and kindness begins to heal her. He takes her to Philadelphia to meet his artistic friends, talks sense to her about her eating disorder and her blind devotion to Macy, finds her a therapist. Who is this Lani Garver? He resists "boxes" like "gay." Even his age is a mystery to Claire. Strangest of all, could he be a "floating angel," as his friends at the hospital seem to believe? Meanwhile, the fish frat are closing in for the kill, and when their harassment turns lethal, Lani shows a terrible side of himself Claire has never seen.
This is a pretty damn good book. I read it in high school but I'm gonna give it another go sometime soon. It's different, unique, and awesome, much like Lani. I remember I had a hard time putting it down, and even almost let out a "FUCK YEAH" in the middle of silent reading when I reached this certain part of the novel.
Seriously guys, I highly recommend this.
Day 14 - A non-fictional book
But...all I got are like...textbooks. D8
I don't wanna talk about textbooks. D8
How about I just tell you what they are?
English:
The Presence of Others by Andrea Lunsford
Philippine History:
Philippines: A Unique Nation by Sonia M. Zaide
A History of the Philippines by Renato Constantino
Political Science:
Struggle for Democracy: Greenburg somethingsomething
Asian American History:
Strangers from a Different Shore by Ronald Tataki
See? Nothing exciting except for some essays in Presence of Others.
Day 15 - A fanfic
I don't read fanfiction as often as I used to anymore. Er, rather, I don't actively seek out any. I used to browse ff.net often to read something.
Nowadays, I just join general fandom communities and look at fics of whatever people posted if they interest me.
I like the Well-Woven Net series by jenovan over at levalier_house. It's a Dragon Age fanfic series that follows her male City Elf named Alessar and his warden adventures. It centers on his relationship with Zevran and I like reading it a lot. :3
There's also Soul Shadow by Halo Bender, who you might have seen at deviantart. I love that Zelda fic so much. He hasn't updated it in a while, but it still pretty good. I hope he starts on it again. Check out his site at bent-halo.net. Bender writes fics for other series too, including Good Omens. x3
There are others, I think. But those are the most recent.
Day 16 - A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Uh...none that are like...automatic tear shedding or anything. But I do know some pretty sad songs. Let's see...
Click to viewDepeche Mode - Somebody
I want somebody to share
share the rest of my life
share my innermost thoughts
know my intimate details
someone who'll stand by my side
and give me support
and in return
she'll get my support
she will listen to me
when I want to speak
about the world we live in
and life in general
though my views may be wrong
they may even be perverted
she'll hear me out
and won't easily be converted
to my way of thinking
in fact she'll often disagree
but at the end of it all
she will understand me
I want somebody who cares
for me passionately
with every thought
and with every breath
someone who'll help me see things
in a different light
all the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
to anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to stay clear
of those things
and when I'm asleep
I want somebody
who will put their arms around me
and kiss me tenderly
though things like this make me sick
in a case like this
I'll get away with it
This arrangement sounds different from the original though. o_O But it's the only one I can find that isn't live or a cover.
Guns n' Roses - Patience
(1..2...1,2,3,4)
Shed a tear 'cause I'm missing you
I'm still alright to smile
Girl, I think about you every day now
Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt you're in my heart now
Said woman take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said sugar make it slow
And we'll come together fine
All we need is just a little patience
(inhale) Patience...
Ooh, oh, yeah
Sit here on the stairs
'Cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now, I'll wait dear
Sometimes, I get so tense
But I can't speed up the time
But you know, love, there's one more thing to consider
Said woman take it slow
Things will be just fine
You and I'll just use a little patience
Said sugar take the time
'Cause the lights are shining bright
You and I've got what it takes to make it
We won't fake it, Oh never break it
'Cause I can't take it
...little patience, mm yeah, ooh yeah,
Need a little patience, yeah
Just a little patience, yeah
Some more pati... (ence, yeah)
I've been walking these streets at night
Just trying to get it right (Need some patience, yeah)
It's hard to see with so many around
You know I don't like being stuck in a crowd (Could use some patience, yeah)
And the streets don't change but maybe the name
I ain't got time for the game
'Cause I need you (Patience, yeah)
Yeah, yeah well I need you
Oh, I need you (Take some patience)
Whoa, I need you (Just a little patience is all we need)
Ooh, this ti- me...
Hurray, a song from childhood! This isn't something my brother would blare out of his music player though, since it's not a fun head banging song or anything. I guess this song isn't so much as grieving sad, but just missing someone.
When most people think of GnR, they think of Welcome to the Jungle. I think of this. And November Rain.
I love how chill Slash looks. Then again, he always looks chill.
Se7en - Come Back to Me (English version)
So hard not to think about it
It's every step I take
And heaven knows I'm trying
But it gets awfully hard
When your heart is this broken
Visions of your lovely face
As I awake, I have this feeling
That you're here and beside me
How silly of me, I know
all the pain will go away
so I say it, here I am again
I gotta face another day
I'm so tired, I need u once again oh baby
How am I suppose to carry on,
I find myself singing the same old song
If you hear me, have it in ur heart
but please come back to me (oh baby)
I'll be right here if you need someone
If you hold another I'll be moving on
As easy as said
Just hope that I can see the road
Oh how it's been so long
It seems a lifetime passed
These memories that linger,
soon as I think they have gone
they only gotten stronger
And so I'm getting through a day
but every move was made was always you and I together
It's hard to believe im lonely
Is there gonna be a day
I can see the word to make me better
I know there has to be a way
So if you listen and hear me out girl, baby
How am I suppose to carry on,
I find myself singing the same old song
If you hear me, have it in your heart
but please come back to me (oh baby)
I'll be right here if you need someone
if u hold another one i'll be moving on
as easy as said
just hope that i can see the road
you're one in a million,
dunno how we got so wrong
I thought it was so simple then
now I know, now I know, how it goes
to let it go
Can there be a chance for you and I?
Before I really make up my mind
oh how I miss you
I never would kiss you
I'm speaking it from my heart
How am I suppose to carry on,
I find myself singing the same old song
If you hear me, have it in you heart
I'll be right here if you need someone
if you hold another I'll be moving on
just hope that I can see the road
come back to me baby
Granted that 90% of his songs are break up songs, Se7en's one of the few Asian singers I can think of who can sing in English well. And his English version of this song is pretty awesome. The part at 3:05 is pretty sad.
Okay, love and break ups aside, let's find a song that actually involves the self-esteem (or lack of) of an individual.
Darren Hayes - Unlovable
Are my lips unkissable?
Are my eyes unlookable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Am I unlovable?
Cynical, jaded, faithless, disappointed, disillusioned, used
If I could take back all my sweat, my tears, my sex, my joy I would
My time, my love, my effort, passion, dedication
In case of mistaken identity I gave these things to you
If I sound angry, bitter, sad, infatuated, it's the truth
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, just a few
Stages of acceptance that it's really over
It's just so complicated and I'm stupid for believing in you
You make me feel like my father never loved me
You make me feel like the act of love is empty
Am I so unlovable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you don't like?
I had your back, I held you up, I told you you were good enough
It was not reciprocated, you kept affection and yourself apart
You fed your love to me like crumbs to pigeons in the park
Sometimes I think you're satisfied to see me begging like a dog
I wasn't armoured, you were king, I gave my everything
Because sometimes you showed me just a hint of you and then
For just a moment I romanticised the notion
I can take away the torment, I can love you like they never did
You make me feel like my father never loved me (you never loved me)
You make me feel like the act of love is empty (I felt so empty)
Am I so unlovable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you don't like?
You make me feel like my mother, she abandoned me (you abandoned me)
You make me feel like the act of love is empty (I felt so empty)
Am I so unlovable?
Is my heart unbreakable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you despise?
Are my lips unkissable?
Are my eyes unlookable?
Is my sex undoable?
Am I unlovable?
Are my words unlistenable?
Are my hands untouchable?
Am I undesirable?
Am I unlovable?
You make me feel like my father never loved me
You make me feel like the act of love is empty
Am I so unlovable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you don't like?
You make me feel like my father never loved me (you never loved me)
You make me feel like the act of love is empty (I felt so empty)
Am I so unlovable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you don't like?
You make me feel like my mother, she abandoned me (you abandoned me)
You make me feel like the act of love is empty (I felt so empty)
Am I so unlovable?
Is my heart unbreakable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you despise?
You make me feel like my father never loved me (you never loved me)
You make me feel like my mother, she abandoned me (you abandoned me)
You make me feel like my father never loved me (you never loved me)
You make me feel like my mother, she abandoned me (you abandoned me)
I think he's talking about an ex or something. I usually think of people who went from being a friend to a cold hearted mean person thing. Or my spirit-crushing brother and mother. People such as that.
FUCK THAT WAS LONG.