Left Unsaid
Title: Left Unsaid
Author: honkydory01
Character/Pairing: Ten/Rose
Rating: G
Summary: The Doctor thinks after Donna leaves. Set after The Runaway Bride. Sort of angsty.
Disclaimer: I tried to convince them that I was RTD in disguise, but it didn't work. Until then, Doctor Who belongs to the BBC.
Author's Notes: Long time lurker, first time poster, so comments are appreciated. Hope you like!
x-posted to time_and_chips.
Left Unsaid
“I love you.”
I can’t stop reliving that cold beach in Norway (well, I couldn’t feel the cold because fortunately I didn’t get the local climate upgrade on the hologram transmitter in the TARDIS). The hardest moment of my life mixed with the happiest. And I had been so close, only a couple more seconds and I would have uttered those three little words that I could never get out, and not because they didn’t fit the teeth. Oh, no. They fit these teeth very well indeed, in fact I could have sworn they were almost designed specifically for those words, the position of the premolars, see.
Rassilon, I’m babbling in my mind.
Because you did that to me, Rose Tyler. You made me happy and bright and wonderful whilst making me want to run and hide. I was so scared of everything I felt - the way you made me want to remove your tear ducts just so you wouldn’t cry (a painless procedure, really), the way I’d carry on about stuff, not always to display my brilliance but to impress you, the way I just wanted wrap my arms around you whenever I could just to feel you near me. Love was so (excuse the pun) alien to me. After years of teaching myself not to feel, you came in and gave me a crash course in Emotions 101. It’s a shame I never got to hand in my homework.
But now I’m here, in the middle of the console room, rummaging through my mind. It’s not like I had the chance after you left - Donna was a bit of a handful, and to have a bride ambush you in the heart of your ship seconds after crying over a lost love is not a desirable situation. But, she was a distraction. There’s probably some ounce of my subconscious that thanks her for it.
But she’s gone, now. And so are you, our time together come and gone before it even started.
There was so much more to show you so much more, Rose! I wanted to soar across the Time Vortex holding your hand and seeing you smile. Not just that, but I wanted - I needed - to tell you. Everything and anything.
I wanted to tell you what a great kisser you were, possessed or not. Actually, that’s not an entirely true statement, because both times I kissed you, another entity was affecting your mind, so I have nothing to compare the experience to. Unfortunately.
I wanted to cry into your shoulder and tell you everything, about Reinette, about Gallifrey. I wanted you to understand why I kept moving away from everything I cared about, and why it kept away from me. I also wanted to tell you how I was desperate for you to stick around.
I wanted to tell you how much you meant to me when I was in that pit - literally falling in love with you. I hugged you so hard I thought we would merge into one person when I saw you on the TARDIS again - really, all I wanted to do was kiss you senseless and tell you everything I felt. I wish I wasn’t such a coward, because the bravery I normally received from you disappeared in situations like that.
I wanted to tell you why I held your hand. I was scared if I let go that I’d fall off.
I wanted to tell you why you shouldn’t stay with me, why you should go to the furthest corner of the universe to escape my influence. I wanted to scream at you to make you understand why we had to be apart, but all I could do was convince myself that there would be another time to do that.
I wanted to tell you I loved you, on that assumedly cold beach in Norway. I wanted you to know that you had dragged me out of my own personal hell, how you were my goddess, that you rebuilt me so that I could breathe again. I wanted you to know that you had given me a family, hope, life.
I wanted to tell you that you were my universe, and I couldn’t care less if it collapsed, as long as I saw you again.
But here I am, babbling in my mind in the middle of the console room, the TARDIS tactfully ignoring my thoughts.
I whisper those words, and they seem to caress my premolars. Ha. Told you.
“I love you.”
Author: honkydory01
Character/Pairing: Ten/Rose
Rating: G
Summary: The Doctor thinks after Donna leaves. Set after The Runaway Bride. Sort of angsty.
Disclaimer: I tried to convince them that I was RTD in disguise, but it didn't work. Until then, Doctor Who belongs to the BBC.
Author's Notes: Long time lurker, first time poster, so comments are appreciated. Hope you like!
x-posted to time_and_chips.
Left Unsaid
“I love you.”
I can’t stop reliving that cold beach in Norway (well, I couldn’t feel the cold because fortunately I didn’t get the local climate upgrade on the hologram transmitter in the TARDIS). The hardest moment of my life mixed with the happiest. And I had been so close, only a couple more seconds and I would have uttered those three little words that I could never get out, and not because they didn’t fit the teeth. Oh, no. They fit these teeth very well indeed, in fact I could have sworn they were almost designed specifically for those words, the position of the premolars, see.
Rassilon, I’m babbling in my mind.
Because you did that to me, Rose Tyler. You made me happy and bright and wonderful whilst making me want to run and hide. I was so scared of everything I felt - the way you made me want to remove your tear ducts just so you wouldn’t cry (a painless procedure, really), the way I’d carry on about stuff, not always to display my brilliance but to impress you, the way I just wanted wrap my arms around you whenever I could just to feel you near me. Love was so (excuse the pun) alien to me. After years of teaching myself not to feel, you came in and gave me a crash course in Emotions 101. It’s a shame I never got to hand in my homework.
But now I’m here, in the middle of the console room, rummaging through my mind. It’s not like I had the chance after you left - Donna was a bit of a handful, and to have a bride ambush you in the heart of your ship seconds after crying over a lost love is not a desirable situation. But, she was a distraction. There’s probably some ounce of my subconscious that thanks her for it.
But she’s gone, now. And so are you, our time together come and gone before it even started.
There was so much more to show you so much more, Rose! I wanted to soar across the Time Vortex holding your hand and seeing you smile. Not just that, but I wanted - I needed - to tell you. Everything and anything.
I wanted to tell you what a great kisser you were, possessed or not. Actually, that’s not an entirely true statement, because both times I kissed you, another entity was affecting your mind, so I have nothing to compare the experience to. Unfortunately.
I wanted to cry into your shoulder and tell you everything, about Reinette, about Gallifrey. I wanted you to understand why I kept moving away from everything I cared about, and why it kept away from me. I also wanted to tell you how I was desperate for you to stick around.
I wanted to tell you how much you meant to me when I was in that pit - literally falling in love with you. I hugged you so hard I thought we would merge into one person when I saw you on the TARDIS again - really, all I wanted to do was kiss you senseless and tell you everything I felt. I wish I wasn’t such a coward, because the bravery I normally received from you disappeared in situations like that.
I wanted to tell you why I held your hand. I was scared if I let go that I’d fall off.
I wanted to tell you why you shouldn’t stay with me, why you should go to the furthest corner of the universe to escape my influence. I wanted to scream at you to make you understand why we had to be apart, but all I could do was convince myself that there would be another time to do that.
I wanted to tell you I loved you, on that assumedly cold beach in Norway. I wanted you to know that you had dragged me out of my own personal hell, how you were my goddess, that you rebuilt me so that I could breathe again. I wanted you to know that you had given me a family, hope, life.
I wanted to tell you that you were my universe, and I couldn’t care less if it collapsed, as long as I saw you again.
But here I am, babbling in my mind in the middle of the console room, the TARDIS tactfully ignoring my thoughts.
I whisper those words, and they seem to caress my premolars. Ha. Told you.
“I love you.”