(no subject)
So much to say but I think we will keep it short. Feeling really run down right now. Tired, stressed, just plain down. Dealing with so much crap, lawsuit, medicaid, and shit i didnt ask to be involved in. I am not the mom i want to be, I am not the wife I want to be, I am not the friend, sister or daughter I want to be I am not the person I want to be. There are so many things I want to change about myself and sometimes I get there but then it seems to always go back downhill again. I haven't taken any of my pills for weeks which probably doesn;t help the situation at all, went and got those tonight maybe it will help me to think straight and to stop the millions of thoughts flowing through my head. I just always want to make people happy, i give them the benefit of the doubt, and I believe in forgiveness is that a bad thing? Sometimes I just don't understand why I feel like the world is dumping on me. Hopefully someday I will make it through this mess and be happy. I was happy very happy for a few short months but I felt guilty being so happy because others around me were having rough times. That's the kind of person I am. But for right now I just want to take a break, and be happy and enjoy being happy, and try my damn hardest to make my life go as good as it can. Life is to short to waste so much time on stupid little things. Yeah life sucks but some things make us stronger and sometimes you just gotta look past the bad and get over it and move on. dwelling on the things that have happened never make anything better.