...
... what is the use of trying to do so many things to get somewhere ... to give up so much just to achieve something ... to leave behind the things that are most comforting to you for something new ... ... ... then get shot in the face with a double barrelled shotgun with some buckshot ... and you're left with no explanation as to why they wouldn't let you go ... fuck ...
... it makes me feel so goddamned useless ... of all the shit i try to do ... and then i'm left with a closed door without answers ... what the fuck have i been working for all this time? ... why should I go on like the way I currently am? ... trying to do the things that're 'right' because I thought it would get me somewhere... that my ideals would take me someplace ...
but, i guess not. ... I guess i'm too fuckin' stupid to go on ... god... such a fuckin' dissapointment ... so much hope and energy and effort was invested in me by my family ... and I've let them all down ... How am I supposed to be a role model for my lil cousins? ... well ... I can't ... someone like me isn't fit to be a role model for anyone or anything ... shit ... a normal, responsible person would've had a goddamned backup for something like this ... I didn't even have enough foresight to see this coming. ... useless ... not even worth the air i breath and the space i take up ...
... and what makes it even worse ... is that I've failed my parents ... ... fuck ...
... it makes me feel so goddamned useless ... of all the shit i try to do ... and then i'm left with a closed door without answers ... what the fuck have i been working for all this time? ... why should I go on like the way I currently am? ... trying to do the things that're 'right' because I thought it would get me somewhere... that my ideals would take me someplace ...
but, i guess not. ... I guess i'm too fuckin' stupid to go on ... god... such a fuckin' dissapointment ... so much hope and energy and effort was invested in me by my family ... and I've let them all down ... How am I supposed to be a role model for my lil cousins? ... well ... I can't ... someone like me isn't fit to be a role model for anyone or anything ... shit ... a normal, responsible person would've had a goddamned backup for something like this ... I didn't even have enough foresight to see this coming. ... useless ... not even worth the air i breath and the space i take up ...
... and what makes it even worse ... is that I've failed my parents ... ... fuck ...