downer, man.
- i've been feeling rather down and listless lately. it's been grey, drizzly, and muggy on and off for a couple weeks now. i am having difficulty readjusting to staying home after working nearly FT for a good portion of the summer and it's also strange not to have classes in the fall for the first time in 3 years. in the mornings i walk sprout to pre-k, come back, clean up a bit, go to the gym for an hour, pick sprout up, then spend the rest of the day moping around, snapping at my family, and wishing i could nap.
- i've also been feeling unsettled and angry and i do not know why. those feelings alternate with soul crushing sadness (which i undersand). today i drove into the city to wash huxley. i was standing at a red light on houston looking at a school yard full of children running around, looking at the people passing by... and i cried.
-------“She had a perpetual sense, as she watched the taxi cabs, of being out, out, far out to sea and alone; she always had the feeling that it was very, very dangerous to live even one day.”
- huxley is falling apart. his back legs give out all the time and we now have to carry him down the stairs in order to get him outside for his walks. if one of us doesn't carry him down, he stands on top of the staircase looking at it like it's mount everest. he is mostly deaf. i think his night vision is going to hell because he walks into trees and fire-hydrants when we go out after dark. his coat usually makes his size a mystery but when i was washing him today i could see that he lost some weight. on the bright side, he is healthy and i don't think he is in pain. he seems pretty content to sleep, snuggle, and take long (slow) walks. sometimes he still wants to play. i'm trying to enjoy whatever time we have left together instead of being depressed about what hasn't happened yet, but watching him go from a neurotic high-energy dog to an old dog in a span of 6 months is difficult.
- money. i had to pass on session 2 of the derby league. my driver's license is expired. i'm selling stuff on ebay to hold me over until i can begin sub teaching but a lot of the money i made was immediately used for buying sprout clothing that fits. she's enormous! 44 inches and 44 lbs. she grew two inches and a shoe size and gained two pounds since the spring.
+/-
the turn out seems promising!
- the idiot over at barstool insist that feminists are all "fat pigs"..."except for this chick [there's a picture]. i’d fuck the shit out of this hippie feminist slut. i mean look at that outfit. practically begging for it." it's hard to remain hopeful when you just want to break out the gasoline and set some assholes on fire.
FUCK THIS FUNK!!!
- i've also been feeling unsettled and angry and i do not know why. those feelings alternate with soul crushing sadness (which i undersand). today i drove into the city to wash huxley. i was standing at a red light on houston looking at a school yard full of children running around, looking at the people passing by... and i cried.
-------“She had a perpetual sense, as she watched the taxi cabs, of being out, out, far out to sea and alone; she always had the feeling that it was very, very dangerous to live even one day.”
- huxley is falling apart. his back legs give out all the time and we now have to carry him down the stairs in order to get him outside for his walks. if one of us doesn't carry him down, he stands on top of the staircase looking at it like it's mount everest. he is mostly deaf. i think his night vision is going to hell because he walks into trees and fire-hydrants when we go out after dark. his coat usually makes his size a mystery but when i was washing him today i could see that he lost some weight. on the bright side, he is healthy and i don't think he is in pain. he seems pretty content to sleep, snuggle, and take long (slow) walks. sometimes he still wants to play. i'm trying to enjoy whatever time we have left together instead of being depressed about what hasn't happened yet, but watching him go from a neurotic high-energy dog to an old dog in a span of 6 months is difficult.
- money. i had to pass on session 2 of the derby league. my driver's license is expired. i'm selling stuff on ebay to hold me over until i can begin sub teaching but a lot of the money i made was immediately used for buying sprout clothing that fits. she's enormous! 44 inches and 44 lbs. she grew two inches and a shoe size and gained two pounds since the spring.
+/-
the turn out seems promising!
- the idiot over at barstool insist that feminists are all "fat pigs"..."except for this chick [there's a picture]. i’d fuck the shit out of this hippie feminist slut. i mean look at that outfit. practically begging for it." it's hard to remain hopeful when you just want to break out the gasoline and set some assholes on fire.
FUCK THIS FUNK!!!