Last Entry for a while
Well...i know not many people read this...and i really need an outlet to let all my thoughts out on.
Everyday following my birthday has gone increasingly worse. The days are getting longer, and the nights seem to blend in. I've really been left with blank thoughts all the time. I finally talked to her, told her everything that's running through my mind the past couple of weeks, and why ive been acting so strange. I'm lost, i have no idea what to do now, guess its time for me to finally move on. With any past love interest...i always found it easy to just, go on and think about other stuff, i just hate how its incredibly difficult this time. It's not like i haven't been trying this whole time, but everyday, it gets harder and harder to try.
I'm not gonna forget all the memories i've shared, but there are a lot of things i can't hold on to anymore. And it's those things that make this the hardest thing to do. Everyday i wake up, and i wish all this was a dream, like i could wake up and everything would be back to when i was able to truly feel happy. I'm not going to lie, i dont think i've ever been that happy my whole life. I may stupid for thinking that i won't ever be happy again, but i can't help it. In a weird way, i don't want anyone to understand how i feel. I want to deal with this on my own, and i dont want anyone to worry about me anymore.
I dont understand why i want to be alone, or why i wanna feel alone, i know there are people out there, who i know i can come to and pour out my feelings. But, sometimes i wish people didn't burden themselves by caring about me. I really feel like a lost cause sometimes. Lately i can only hold on to any bit of happiness for a small amount of time...i give in to my other emotions, i appreciate everyone though, who's been trying to help, and its not your fault that i keep giving in to sadness. its just something i have to deal with and im not really sure how to deal with it.
So this will probably be my last entry, because, even this journal, reminds me of things i have to let go.
Goodbye Livejournal
-Jasper
Everyday following my birthday has gone increasingly worse. The days are getting longer, and the nights seem to blend in. I've really been left with blank thoughts all the time. I finally talked to her, told her everything that's running through my mind the past couple of weeks, and why ive been acting so strange. I'm lost, i have no idea what to do now, guess its time for me to finally move on. With any past love interest...i always found it easy to just, go on and think about other stuff, i just hate how its incredibly difficult this time. It's not like i haven't been trying this whole time, but everyday, it gets harder and harder to try.
I'm not gonna forget all the memories i've shared, but there are a lot of things i can't hold on to anymore. And it's those things that make this the hardest thing to do. Everyday i wake up, and i wish all this was a dream, like i could wake up and everything would be back to when i was able to truly feel happy. I'm not going to lie, i dont think i've ever been that happy my whole life. I may stupid for thinking that i won't ever be happy again, but i can't help it. In a weird way, i don't want anyone to understand how i feel. I want to deal with this on my own, and i dont want anyone to worry about me anymore.
I dont understand why i want to be alone, or why i wanna feel alone, i know there are people out there, who i know i can come to and pour out my feelings. But, sometimes i wish people didn't burden themselves by caring about me. I really feel like a lost cause sometimes. Lately i can only hold on to any bit of happiness for a small amount of time...i give in to my other emotions, i appreciate everyone though, who's been trying to help, and its not your fault that i keep giving in to sadness. its just something i have to deal with and im not really sure how to deal with it.
So this will probably be my last entry, because, even this journal, reminds me of things i have to let go.
Goodbye Livejournal
-Jasper