(no subject)

[honeybunk]

There's a strange lack of sensation in my life lately. Like every day is earning money for nothing higher than getting more things that I'll eventually get rid of to avoid making clutter. I sleep, shower, work and avoid feeling negative about anything in case it effects my performance. These days I actually seek out and enjoy the gut rot I feel from drinking on an empty stomach. I want to shatter my fist against someone's face while they pull my hair out of my scalp, then sleep for two days. All of this would be easier if I were the old, black blues singer I've always wanted to be.
It might be time for another attempt at fasting.