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[honeybee87]

i feel as though it is impossible for anything to just ever be simple..i wish that when someone changes they could realize when they change..i hate it when they are hurting someone else in a way that is not necessary at all. i pray to God that one day my life will get easier..sometimes i feel as though i cant handle it..the feeling i have is that

Comments

[ces4everyeah]

Hey hun... kind of weird I've had a feeling that I need to find your journal the past few days I have been looking for it.. and in all honesty I still am not sure if im at the right one of the persons I was looking for but anyways..
in response to what you said... I know exactly how you feel... Ive been there more times than I can remember... that feeling is the worst and I know you feel as if God is giving you more than you can handle but first and most importantly... God doesnt ever wish anything like that upon you... he may allow things to come into contact with you to teach us and grow us... such as maybe he wants you to depend a lot more on him and the joy and actions of HIM instead of other people... and I know that is SO hard to ignore what others are doing around us or even TO us... but surender it to God... let him know that youre going to depend on him to take care of it and of you.. and when all your faith rests upon him youll begin to see things clear... because as bad as it looks when we look at people and the things they do... its really hard but you have to just step back and be like okay they are human.. they will make retarded actions and mistakes for the rest of their lives.. and so will I... our God is the only perfect thing in our life.. which is why we can find most comfort in relying on him... in the tough times... but also importantly in the good times... I find it that when things start to get better and seem great we shift our focus from God maybe not all of it but maybe even just an inch of it as to when things were bad he had all of it so he has to let things by and affect you for you to come back to him totally... so all I can suggest is practice focusing allll on God and at all times.. and you will be rewarded greatly... whether its sooner or later... he gives strength to the weak..so no matter where you are God will strengthen you and help you to overcome any and every situation if you depend solely upon him... youre in my prayers. :) I know youll be fine!

[honeybee87]

hey thanks for the comment..i try and try to surrender my all to him and its like im so angry that i cant..its weird..but i really do try all the time..i try everything and nothing seems to work with me anymore..but i can say that a lot of what you said was very very comforting and thank you so much
this is melissa if you werent sure..is this cesley

[ces4everyeah]

yeah I was sure that you were trying... but that seems to be it right there that you have anger or bitterness... but before God can come in and heal those wounded areas and fill them up you have to release them and ask them to be removed from you so that he has room...and again lol im sure you have asked.... but it takes repetitive prayer and patience... just dont give up... seek harder than you have before... walls arent the easiest things to knock down sometimes..and in life we build them up with so many things...I find myself praying a lot for God to change my heart, make mine beat in sync with his.. to be altered from its current shape..because think about how much better and easier life would be if we had the heart of Christ.. which obviously were carnal and won't reach that but it seems to me just searching for it and going after it is one step closer.. and it has made a difference.. im far from perfect but God is teaching me more everyday how to have a heart a little more like his own.. and its hard I know how you feel and have had a taste of what youre going through but the things we endure only make us that much stronger and that much more equipped to do his work... which is a reward in itself to serve the one who died for us..and watch your obediance pay off... its excellent.. just keep fighting and praying.. I like to think about if people really knew and understood how powerful prayer is they would never stop praying ever.. yes this is Ceslie... I thought this was your journal just wasn't sure.. anyways!! ill t2yl! :)

[honeybee87]

aww yeah thanks again..i saw you tonight and i didnt think that you knew who i was..so i didnt say anything..ha