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~*Happy Birthday, mews1945!*~
It's been yet ANOTHER long-long-time since I've dropped by, ashamed to say. But if there IS a day I shouldn't ignore, it's *yours*. :) I hope you've been doing well, have a lot of love chucked at you today--here and home--and CAN forgive me for being such a crap friend!!
To help make up for it, here's a lil' ditty I came up with a week or so ago after talking about your upcoming birthday with aliensouldream. This idea just smacked me in the face full-on, and it was SO you, so I saved it. Love you, sugarpot!!
*HUGS*!
Title: Like Or Like-Like
Pairing: C/Z
Rating: PG-13, light R for language, if ya squint...
Disclaimer: Don't own!
Synopsis: Casey thinks Zeke's hot, right? Right?
“So... you haven't got much shit, right?”
“Hmm?”
Zeke cleared his throat as Casey looked up at him from his spot on the fallen log. Trying his best to look casual, Zeke made a one-shouldered shrug, stuck his foot onto a spot a few feet from Casey and said, “You've been out for a week now.”
“Oh. Hah, duh, yea. And yea. Well, no. No, I haven't got much shit,” Casey replied, his usual geeky, all-over-the-map candor making Zeke grin. Casey sighed, took a sip from his beer bottle and went on, “Probably because you've stuck by me the entire time. You get this... look, every time Gabe's within ten yards of us.”
“Huh?” Zeke said.
“Yeah. I'm surprised he doesn't leave puddles of piss behind him when you glare at him the way you do.”
Zeke chuckled, however forced it felt. His knees were wobbly and his chest felt like it was full of glue. Deciding to sit down before he fell down, Zeke lowered down to the log, still keeping his distance, and lit up. From this spot in the woods, the only sounds reaching them from Stan's party was the tremor of bass from Stan's elaborate stereo set-up, laughter from the pool everyone was enjoying... “I gotta admit... I was a bit jealous,” Zeke said in a distant voice.
“Um-of-what?” Casey asked haltingly.
“I was the only one who knew for, what, two months?” he said. “The only one you'd had the balls to tell.”
“Well-l-l...” Casey drawled, shifted and let out another sigh, longer than the last. “It would've been wrong, if I hadn't.”
This reply furrowed Zeke's brow and made him turn to face him. “Whattaya mean?” he asked.
“We're... best friends. Y'know? I didn't want to keep that kind of secret, being around you all the time, you not knowing...”
He said it! He SAID it, now you won't look like you're bringing it up! Zeke thoughts raced; he sat up in a jolt and he parted his lips-
“...I didn't want you to find out from someone else then think I was checking you out the whole time we were friends, y'know?”
Everything in Zeke deflated... no. A pin meeting an over-filled balloon was more like it. “Oh,” was all he could seem to mutter before hiding his frown with another drag.
“That shit happens all the time; like, just because I'm gay, I wanna fuck every male creature on the planet. That ruins a good friendship,” Casey said. Before Zeke could end it all with a request to go back to the party for more beer, the smile that made him fall in love with Casey every time Zeke saw it come on... came on. “You've really been there for me, y'know.”
You gotta try to be happy with this, Zeke thought-and he was. Only he wasn't. Fuck if he knew. He managed to smile back, even give Casey's shoulder a friendly, totally pal-to-pal clap and say, “Well, you're worth it.”
“I guess. I mean, don't get me fuckin' wrong, I'm STILL terrified I'm gonna get cornered some day soon,” Casey said.
“Eh, not with me around. And we got, what-two weeks left in that hellhole?”
Casey chortled and raised his beer. Zeke saw the invite, chuckled along and clinked the glass with his own. After a hearty slug between them, both boys smacked their lips and sighed in unison, making them chuckle even more. “You gonna miss anything about it? School?” Zeke asked.
“Hah, n... well-l-l...” Casey drawled again, eyes staring at the trail they'd walked in on. “A thing or two, I guess.”
“Why so Mr. Mysterioso?”
“Okay, not a 'thing'.” Casey's face looked darker-a deep blush was setting in. He leaned in closer and said, “The way Mr. Furlong's ass looks in denim.”
Zeke couldn't help from jolting back to stare at Casey with widened eyes, making the boy laugh. “Huh??”
“What? C'mon, he almost NEVER wears jeans, but when he does?”
“You're... a freak,” Zeke replied. This made Casey outright giggle.
“If I wanted news, I'd read the paper,” he said.
Zeke did his best to seem amused, snorting and shaking his head. But they'd again touched on certain subjects, where Zeke wouldn't look awkward or weird if he started asking questions. “Okay, okay-never mind teachers. What about fellow students?”
“As in...?”
“Who would you fuck?”
“Um... no one.” Casey gave Zeke a look; Zeke went still, staring back until Casey let out a guffaw, cocked an eyebrow and said, “Zeke, I'm a total, complete, hopeless bottom.”
That didn't help Zeke at all. He needed to clear his throat; his face felt like it was on fucking fire... “Okay, who would you let fuck you, then?” he asked.
Casey hmm'ed, stretched his legs out and crossed them at the ankles. The way he leaned back with his shoulders hunched up, a cool, thoughtful expression on his face-Zeke needed to bite his lip, hard. “Actually... no one,” Casey said.
Dear god. Zeke focused on his beer, contemplating smashing the neck of the bottle against the nearby rock and shoving glass shards into his wrists. “No one, huh?”
“At school, no. Now, this one guy I met, at the comic shop? Fuck me, yeah.”
“Yeah?”
“Mmm. Blond hair, green eyes, one of THE best GMs I've ever had the pleasure to know...”
Zeke didn't know what a 'GM' was. Gay Man? Great Meat? Green Monster? Zeke fit the bill when it came to the last choice, wondering if Casey could be wooed if he went to the hairdresser and got colored contacts. Zeke tried focusing on what Casey was saying-something about one-hundred-sided dice and how this jerkoff had made their 'D&D game sound so real! but he was too stuck on wondering what it was about himself that hadn't made Casey explore his options, ones closer to home.
He JUST said, friendships getting ruined, not all gay guys wanna fuck their male best friends... Zeke tried thinking, but it was no use. What was it, holding Casey back? Did he not see Zeke as a possibility... was Zeke, oh god fucking hell shitting shit Christ fuck no, friend-zoned? Would Casey ask him out to a gay bar, only to field possible dates his way? Zeke started imagining Casey leaning in close, nose and lips brushing against his ear, cherry-cola scented breath washing over Zeke's cheek as he asked, Hey, the blond, muscle-bound slab o' man by the men's room, whattaya think??
“Earth to Zeke...?”
Zeke snapped out of his reverie, Casey somehow reaching past his inner conflict. “Huh, what?”
“You looked lost,” Casey said.
“No, just-thinkin',” Zeke replied. He tried chuckling again, having them come out sounding more like coughs. “Okay c'mon, there's GOT to be someone at good ol' Herrington High. C'mon.”
“Well, no. Not really.”
“Like, okay...” Just say it. Make it funny. Whatever you do, laugh, be all 'ha ha', metaphorical... “Like, me? Be honest.”
A pause followed, Casey staring at Zeke with intensity for a moment before puffing out a lone, breathy laugh. “As in... would I fuck you?”
“No, would you let me fuck you? Remember?” There. He'd done it. He somehow kept a grin on, even though Casey's was nowhere to be found. He didn't look mad, just-confused. “Just... curious,” Zeke added.
“Hah, why? Is this some weird way of asking me out?”
“No!” Zeke nearly spat. “Just... c'mon, it's one of those things. Kinda like, a girl-any girl-you wanna know if she thinks you're hot, y'know?”
“No?”
“Well, not YOU, specifically. Oh come the hell on, you know what I mean.”
Another pause followed, until finally... thankfully, a small smile twitched the corners of Casey's lips. “Well maybe. But... no,” he said.
“No? Like... you wouldn't fuck me?”
“BE fucked by you, y'mean.”
“Whatever, you--”
“It's a question I will never, ever answer.”
Everything in Zeke, from his brain to his heart and straight to his toes, stopped dead. “Wh... huh?” he muttered.
“Okay, let's say I said, 'no'. That'd hurt your feelings in... some weird, weird way. And if I said yes, it's just be plain old weird,” Casey said. “So whatever my opinion is... I plead the fifth.”
Zeke was so close, TOO close. He needed to know. Now. “No c'mon, you can't do that,” Zeke said.
“Oh, I sure can, boy.”
“Come on. Please?”
Casey let out a musical laugh and he stood. “Why do you wanna even know? And you call me a freak?”
“It's just one of those-things. Okay, okay...” Zeke had to find another way to do this. Perhaps if it wasn't so personal, getting Casey's opinion in a more roundabout, innocent way. “So we walk into a gay club. How many guys do you think would hit on me?”
“Why would you... walk into a gay club?” Casey asked.
Zeke had to groan as he too stood, one hand shoved into his pocket while the other held his dying cigarette close to his lips. “It's by mistake, or hell, I just GO with you to have fun. Whatever. How many guys?”
“I... dunno. Loads, probably.”
Score! Zeke cheered in his mind. Now they were getting somewhere. “The guys who go for the tall, dark handsomes, right?” he replied jocularly, even daring a coy grin.
“Well, sure,” Casey said. His smile was awkward, almost making him look uncomfortable. “You, uh-wanna head back to Stan's and see if they got the cake out ye-”
“I bet you'd be jealous. Even just a little bit,” Zeke said. He was putting as much 'fun and games' in his voice and words as he could muster, but Casey's expression only deepened into confusion and... was that fear?
“Huh?”
“Y'know, like... you're there, with me, and I'm getting all this attention...”
“Wait, wait, wait. Who says you'd be getting all the guys glomming onto you?”
“You did, a second ago. You said, 'loads, probably,'” Zeke replied.
“Even if that DID happen... why would I be jealous?” Casey asked.
This was ridiculous. Zeke suddenly felt hollow, cold. He looked away, took the last drag from his cigarette and threw it down to the ground. Another smoke was lit as he stamped it out with his boot. “Never mind,” he said in a voice way too bitter for Casey to ignore. The boy's expression sobered a little, his eyes blinking fast.
“What's wrong?”
“Nuttin'. Let's head back, see if... they got the cake and... shit,” Zeke said, but he didn't make any moves to head back onto the trail. He let out a long, steady stream of smoke into the air around them as he shook his head. Casey stayed still for a moment as well until he sighed and took two steps back.
“Yeah, okay. They have two kinds, Stokes said; a marble and a vanilla,” he said.
“Cool,” Zeke said.
“Yeah. What kind are you gonna have?”
The question felt so fucking stupid. Zeke made a derisive laugh and rolled his eyes. “I don't give a shit, probably both, why not?”
“What's wrong?” Casey blurted, stopping dead to stare at Zeke with intensity.
“Nothing, why?”
“Cos'. You're acting all weird and stuff.”
Zeke ground his teeth together, took another quick drag and said, “Hey, I just asked a simple question and you can't answer it, so whatever.”
“Which... one?”
“Which one what?”
It was Casey's turn to groan in frustration. “You've only asked me, like, twenty-billion questions since we hit the trail, asking for specifics isn't-”
“Would you date me, THAT one.”
The quiet that came now made Zeke feel like he was standing on a giant anthill. The discomfort he felt in the way Casey gazed at him now was damned-near crippling. “You-you never asked that. You asked if I'd fuck... or whatever, let you fuck me, what... ever,” Casey finally replied.
“Whatever,” Zeke muttered.
“Yeah.”
Zeke gnawed at the inside of his cheek and stared at the wisps of smoke coming from the tip of his cigarette. Before he could get frustrated, say stupid stuff he didn't mean as if Casey deserved any of that, he sighed and asked, “You got a pen?”
“Uh... yeah, why?”
Instead of saying anything, Zeke held his hand out, impatient. Casey frown-smirked, shrugged and reached into his pocket. A pen was drawn out and handed over. Zeke reached into his pocket with his other hand; the receipt from his and Casey's coffee-stop was there (“When the hell are we going to have to prove we paid for two small coffees and a cruller, anyway?” had been Casey's question when Zeke said 'sure' to the drive-thru worker's receipt offer). With a tremulous sigh, Zeke propped a knee up on the log, smoothed the slip over his thigh and wrote:
Do you like me? Check 'yes' or 'no'
Two crude boxes next to each option were made and in a flick of his wrist and eyes averted to the ground again, the note and pen was handed to Casey. The boy took it, read and stood very, very still. It felt like hours had passed before he snorted. “Wow,” he said.
“What?” Zeke murmured. When Casey only continued staring and smiling, Zeke sniffed in a hot breath and let it out in a hiss. “What?”
“Never got one of THESE before.”
“Not even from your... whatever, that comic guy?”
Casey flicked his eyes up over the paper, grinned then turned away. Zeke swallowed what felt like a hot, burning coal as he waited for Casey to turn back and hand over his answer. Even if it wasn't the one Zeke hoped for, it was the answer-Casey's answer. But when Casey finally turned back to face Zeke, the paper was stuck into his back pocket. The shit-eating grin Casey wore was maddening. “As I said, it's top secret,” he said.
“Huh?”
“I'm gonna go with vanilla, I think.” Casey took another few steps back, still grinning, before turning to head back onto the path.
“Hey. Hey,” Zeke said, going to follow in long strides. Before he could get in front of Casey, the boy stopped suddenly and turned. Zeke halted quick to avoid a collision. “You gotta give it back-“
“Who says?”
Zeke blinked furiously, unable to tell whether Casey was being playful and sweet, or stubborn about giving Zeke his 'final answer'. “C'mon, Case... I've...” He stopped to take a deep breath. “I've never DONE that before, and now I feel like an idiot.”
“Why?” Casey asked. He looked at Zeke, incredulous for a moment before scoffing and smiling wider. “Zeke, what you just did is so fucking adorable, I could scream.”
“So fucking seventh-grade, you mean.”
“You're so thick, god.”
“Huh?” Zeke muttered.
Casey made a long, tired sigh, leaned forward and looked at Zeke through the tops of his eyes. “The reason I don't wanna give the note back-is because I wanna bring it home, make a homemade frame out of popsicle sticks, glue and glitter and immortalize the moment. Hang it right on my wall.”
The 'yes' box had been ticked-off, without question. However excited Zeke was growing inside, he felt an odd disappointment. “But... it's my note. I'm supposed to get it back,” he said.
“I can make you a copy on my scanner?” Casey offered.
“Not the same. I want it, so give it.” For the next few seconds, Zeke tried being cocky, smirking and holding his hand out and flicking his fingers Casey's way. But when Casey's expression went soft and sad, the deep blue of his eyes mixing with the reflection of starlight above, Zeke felt a fluttering tremor build up in his stomach.
“Can I keep it... please?” Casey asked in a voice Zeke had never heard from the boy before. He could've asked for the keys to the GTO, or one of Zeke's kidneys; the soft yearning he'd put behind the words was enough for Zeke to sigh shakily and place a hand over Casey's hip. He curled a finger into a belt-loop and pulled Casey in.
“Let me see it, at least,” he said.
“Promise to give it back?”
“Mmhmm.” Zeke licked his lower lip and let his hand travel around Casey to the pocket. He was tempted to start groping the boy's ass right-off, but chose to smile, grab the paper edge sticking out and take a look.
Do you like love me? Zeke read, next looking down at the 'yes' box which held an uncountable amount of check marks.
“Zeke?”
“Mmm?” Zeke hummed, staring at the additions Casey had made.
“Just... one problem.” Casey took a slow, deep breath then let it out, saying, “I can't hide again. Coming-out, it was... it's still fuckin' scary. If we're gonna-”
Zeke shushed Casey by taking his chin to tilt his head and place the first of what would most undoubtedly be followed by many, many kisses upon the boy's lips. If there was ever a time for the cosmos above to explode and rain down on a pair of inconsequential humans, this was it; this kiss was world peace material, in Zeke's view, anyway. Going by Casey's light, barely-audible coos he made against Zeke's mouth, he felt the same way. Zeke broke away, but not entirely. He kept his lips close to Casey's, whispering tiny kisses while asking, “Senior banquet's this coming Friday. You got a date?”
“'Don't think so, I could check,” Casey said, his smile going bright and broad. Zeke matched it, nodding his forehead against his new lover's.
“Before that's the senior day-trip to the lake. Wanna share a blanket?”
“Oh, god... Gabe's face. His fucking face...”
“Will be broken in a dozen places if he steps to that shit.”
Casey shivered in what had to be a good way, going by the pleased-sounding groan he made deep in his throat. “But... we should... come out before that,” he said. It was Zeke's turn to tremble when Casey slid his tongue over Zeke's upper lip, smooth, slow and wonderfully-wet. “Like-make-out in the band hall first thing Monday morning.”
“Or we could just go eat some cake with the twenty-some-odd people back at Stan's,” Zeke next suggested. Casey's eyes flared wide then narrowed in an instant.
“I could get frosting on my chin and you can help with the clean-up.”
However delicious an idea that was, Zeke snorted with amusement and said, “Yeah, that's a stretch. You should've been born with a built-in bib, the way YOU plow blindly through a meal.”
“Well, now that you're my official, on-call napkin... are you gonna complain?” Casey asked before giving Zeke's lower lip a light bite and suck.
“Mmm-nnn-nope,” Zeke said in a throaty drawl. He then pulled away and took his new one-and-only's hand to bring him along, someone who hadn't noticed that Zeke had slipped the 'Yes or No' note into his pocket. He didn't plan on keeping it, as he wanted Casey to swear that he WOULD, indeed, make a special arts and crafts project out of it. But for now, he just wanted to hold it, have the proof on him that he'd finally done something right in his short but crazy life.
It's been yet ANOTHER long-long-time since I've dropped by, ashamed to say. But if there IS a day I shouldn't ignore, it's *yours*. :) I hope you've been doing well, have a lot of love chucked at you today--here and home--and CAN forgive me for being such a crap friend!!
To help make up for it, here's a lil' ditty I came up with a week or so ago after talking about your upcoming birthday with aliensouldream. This idea just smacked me in the face full-on, and it was SO you, so I saved it. Love you, sugarpot!!
*HUGS*!
Title: Like Or Like-Like
Pairing: C/Z
Rating: PG-13, light R for language, if ya squint...
Disclaimer: Don't own!
Synopsis: Casey thinks Zeke's hot, right? Right?
“So... you haven't got much shit, right?”
“Hmm?”
Zeke cleared his throat as Casey looked up at him from his spot on the fallen log. Trying his best to look casual, Zeke made a one-shouldered shrug, stuck his foot onto a spot a few feet from Casey and said, “You've been out for a week now.”
“Oh. Hah, duh, yea. And yea. Well, no. No, I haven't got much shit,” Casey replied, his usual geeky, all-over-the-map candor making Zeke grin. Casey sighed, took a sip from his beer bottle and went on, “Probably because you've stuck by me the entire time. You get this... look, every time Gabe's within ten yards of us.”
“Huh?” Zeke said.
“Yeah. I'm surprised he doesn't leave puddles of piss behind him when you glare at him the way you do.”
Zeke chuckled, however forced it felt. His knees were wobbly and his chest felt like it was full of glue. Deciding to sit down before he fell down, Zeke lowered down to the log, still keeping his distance, and lit up. From this spot in the woods, the only sounds reaching them from Stan's party was the tremor of bass from Stan's elaborate stereo set-up, laughter from the pool everyone was enjoying... “I gotta admit... I was a bit jealous,” Zeke said in a distant voice.
“Um-of-what?” Casey asked haltingly.
“I was the only one who knew for, what, two months?” he said. “The only one you'd had the balls to tell.”
“Well-l-l...” Casey drawled, shifted and let out another sigh, longer than the last. “It would've been wrong, if I hadn't.”
This reply furrowed Zeke's brow and made him turn to face him. “Whattaya mean?” he asked.
“We're... best friends. Y'know? I didn't want to keep that kind of secret, being around you all the time, you not knowing...”
He said it! He SAID it, now you won't look like you're bringing it up! Zeke thoughts raced; he sat up in a jolt and he parted his lips-
“...I didn't want you to find out from someone else then think I was checking you out the whole time we were friends, y'know?”
Everything in Zeke deflated... no. A pin meeting an over-filled balloon was more like it. “Oh,” was all he could seem to mutter before hiding his frown with another drag.
“That shit happens all the time; like, just because I'm gay, I wanna fuck every male creature on the planet. That ruins a good friendship,” Casey said. Before Zeke could end it all with a request to go back to the party for more beer, the smile that made him fall in love with Casey every time Zeke saw it come on... came on. “You've really been there for me, y'know.”
You gotta try to be happy with this, Zeke thought-and he was. Only he wasn't. Fuck if he knew. He managed to smile back, even give Casey's shoulder a friendly, totally pal-to-pal clap and say, “Well, you're worth it.”
“I guess. I mean, don't get me fuckin' wrong, I'm STILL terrified I'm gonna get cornered some day soon,” Casey said.
“Eh, not with me around. And we got, what-two weeks left in that hellhole?”
Casey chortled and raised his beer. Zeke saw the invite, chuckled along and clinked the glass with his own. After a hearty slug between them, both boys smacked their lips and sighed in unison, making them chuckle even more. “You gonna miss anything about it? School?” Zeke asked.
“Hah, n... well-l-l...” Casey drawled again, eyes staring at the trail they'd walked in on. “A thing or two, I guess.”
“Why so Mr. Mysterioso?”
“Okay, not a 'thing'.” Casey's face looked darker-a deep blush was setting in. He leaned in closer and said, “The way Mr. Furlong's ass looks in denim.”
Zeke couldn't help from jolting back to stare at Casey with widened eyes, making the boy laugh. “Huh??”
“What? C'mon, he almost NEVER wears jeans, but when he does?”
“You're... a freak,” Zeke replied. This made Casey outright giggle.
“If I wanted news, I'd read the paper,” he said.
Zeke did his best to seem amused, snorting and shaking his head. But they'd again touched on certain subjects, where Zeke wouldn't look awkward or weird if he started asking questions. “Okay, okay-never mind teachers. What about fellow students?”
“As in...?”
“Who would you fuck?”
“Um... no one.” Casey gave Zeke a look; Zeke went still, staring back until Casey let out a guffaw, cocked an eyebrow and said, “Zeke, I'm a total, complete, hopeless bottom.”
That didn't help Zeke at all. He needed to clear his throat; his face felt like it was on fucking fire... “Okay, who would you let fuck you, then?” he asked.
Casey hmm'ed, stretched his legs out and crossed them at the ankles. The way he leaned back with his shoulders hunched up, a cool, thoughtful expression on his face-Zeke needed to bite his lip, hard. “Actually... no one,” Casey said.
Dear god. Zeke focused on his beer, contemplating smashing the neck of the bottle against the nearby rock and shoving glass shards into his wrists. “No one, huh?”
“At school, no. Now, this one guy I met, at the comic shop? Fuck me, yeah.”
“Yeah?”
“Mmm. Blond hair, green eyes, one of THE best GMs I've ever had the pleasure to know...”
Zeke didn't know what a 'GM' was. Gay Man? Great Meat? Green Monster? Zeke fit the bill when it came to the last choice, wondering if Casey could be wooed if he went to the hairdresser and got colored contacts. Zeke tried focusing on what Casey was saying-something about one-hundred-sided dice and how this jerkoff had made their 'D&D game sound so real! but he was too stuck on wondering what it was about himself that hadn't made Casey explore his options, ones closer to home.
He JUST said, friendships getting ruined, not all gay guys wanna fuck their male best friends... Zeke tried thinking, but it was no use. What was it, holding Casey back? Did he not see Zeke as a possibility... was Zeke, oh god fucking hell shitting shit Christ fuck no, friend-zoned? Would Casey ask him out to a gay bar, only to field possible dates his way? Zeke started imagining Casey leaning in close, nose and lips brushing against his ear, cherry-cola scented breath washing over Zeke's cheek as he asked, Hey, the blond, muscle-bound slab o' man by the men's room, whattaya think??
“Earth to Zeke...?”
Zeke snapped out of his reverie, Casey somehow reaching past his inner conflict. “Huh, what?”
“You looked lost,” Casey said.
“No, just-thinkin',” Zeke replied. He tried chuckling again, having them come out sounding more like coughs. “Okay c'mon, there's GOT to be someone at good ol' Herrington High. C'mon.”
“Well, no. Not really.”
“Like, okay...” Just say it. Make it funny. Whatever you do, laugh, be all 'ha ha', metaphorical... “Like, me? Be honest.”
A pause followed, Casey staring at Zeke with intensity for a moment before puffing out a lone, breathy laugh. “As in... would I fuck you?”
“No, would you let me fuck you? Remember?” There. He'd done it. He somehow kept a grin on, even though Casey's was nowhere to be found. He didn't look mad, just-confused. “Just... curious,” Zeke added.
“Hah, why? Is this some weird way of asking me out?”
“No!” Zeke nearly spat. “Just... c'mon, it's one of those things. Kinda like, a girl-any girl-you wanna know if she thinks you're hot, y'know?”
“No?”
“Well, not YOU, specifically. Oh come the hell on, you know what I mean.”
Another pause followed, until finally... thankfully, a small smile twitched the corners of Casey's lips. “Well maybe. But... no,” he said.
“No? Like... you wouldn't fuck me?”
“BE fucked by you, y'mean.”
“Whatever, you--”
“It's a question I will never, ever answer.”
Everything in Zeke, from his brain to his heart and straight to his toes, stopped dead. “Wh... huh?” he muttered.
“Okay, let's say I said, 'no'. That'd hurt your feelings in... some weird, weird way. And if I said yes, it's just be plain old weird,” Casey said. “So whatever my opinion is... I plead the fifth.”
Zeke was so close, TOO close. He needed to know. Now. “No c'mon, you can't do that,” Zeke said.
“Oh, I sure can, boy.”
“Come on. Please?”
Casey let out a musical laugh and he stood. “Why do you wanna even know? And you call me a freak?”
“It's just one of those-things. Okay, okay...” Zeke had to find another way to do this. Perhaps if it wasn't so personal, getting Casey's opinion in a more roundabout, innocent way. “So we walk into a gay club. How many guys do you think would hit on me?”
“Why would you... walk into a gay club?” Casey asked.
Zeke had to groan as he too stood, one hand shoved into his pocket while the other held his dying cigarette close to his lips. “It's by mistake, or hell, I just GO with you to have fun. Whatever. How many guys?”
“I... dunno. Loads, probably.”
Score! Zeke cheered in his mind. Now they were getting somewhere. “The guys who go for the tall, dark handsomes, right?” he replied jocularly, even daring a coy grin.
“Well, sure,” Casey said. His smile was awkward, almost making him look uncomfortable. “You, uh-wanna head back to Stan's and see if they got the cake out ye-”
“I bet you'd be jealous. Even just a little bit,” Zeke said. He was putting as much 'fun and games' in his voice and words as he could muster, but Casey's expression only deepened into confusion and... was that fear?
“Huh?”
“Y'know, like... you're there, with me, and I'm getting all this attention...”
“Wait, wait, wait. Who says you'd be getting all the guys glomming onto you?”
“You did, a second ago. You said, 'loads, probably,'” Zeke replied.
“Even if that DID happen... why would I be jealous?” Casey asked.
This was ridiculous. Zeke suddenly felt hollow, cold. He looked away, took the last drag from his cigarette and threw it down to the ground. Another smoke was lit as he stamped it out with his boot. “Never mind,” he said in a voice way too bitter for Casey to ignore. The boy's expression sobered a little, his eyes blinking fast.
“What's wrong?”
“Nuttin'. Let's head back, see if... they got the cake and... shit,” Zeke said, but he didn't make any moves to head back onto the trail. He let out a long, steady stream of smoke into the air around them as he shook his head. Casey stayed still for a moment as well until he sighed and took two steps back.
“Yeah, okay. They have two kinds, Stokes said; a marble and a vanilla,” he said.
“Cool,” Zeke said.
“Yeah. What kind are you gonna have?”
The question felt so fucking stupid. Zeke made a derisive laugh and rolled his eyes. “I don't give a shit, probably both, why not?”
“What's wrong?” Casey blurted, stopping dead to stare at Zeke with intensity.
“Nothing, why?”
“Cos'. You're acting all weird and stuff.”
Zeke ground his teeth together, took another quick drag and said, “Hey, I just asked a simple question and you can't answer it, so whatever.”
“Which... one?”
“Which one what?”
It was Casey's turn to groan in frustration. “You've only asked me, like, twenty-billion questions since we hit the trail, asking for specifics isn't-”
“Would you date me, THAT one.”
The quiet that came now made Zeke feel like he was standing on a giant anthill. The discomfort he felt in the way Casey gazed at him now was damned-near crippling. “You-you never asked that. You asked if I'd fuck... or whatever, let you fuck me, what... ever,” Casey finally replied.
“Whatever,” Zeke muttered.
“Yeah.”
Zeke gnawed at the inside of his cheek and stared at the wisps of smoke coming from the tip of his cigarette. Before he could get frustrated, say stupid stuff he didn't mean as if Casey deserved any of that, he sighed and asked, “You got a pen?”
“Uh... yeah, why?”
Instead of saying anything, Zeke held his hand out, impatient. Casey frown-smirked, shrugged and reached into his pocket. A pen was drawn out and handed over. Zeke reached into his pocket with his other hand; the receipt from his and Casey's coffee-stop was there (“When the hell are we going to have to prove we paid for two small coffees and a cruller, anyway?” had been Casey's question when Zeke said 'sure' to the drive-thru worker's receipt offer). With a tremulous sigh, Zeke propped a knee up on the log, smoothed the slip over his thigh and wrote:
Do you like me? Check 'yes' or 'no'
Two crude boxes next to each option were made and in a flick of his wrist and eyes averted to the ground again, the note and pen was handed to Casey. The boy took it, read and stood very, very still. It felt like hours had passed before he snorted. “Wow,” he said.
“What?” Zeke murmured. When Casey only continued staring and smiling, Zeke sniffed in a hot breath and let it out in a hiss. “What?”
“Never got one of THESE before.”
“Not even from your... whatever, that comic guy?”
Casey flicked his eyes up over the paper, grinned then turned away. Zeke swallowed what felt like a hot, burning coal as he waited for Casey to turn back and hand over his answer. Even if it wasn't the one Zeke hoped for, it was the answer-Casey's answer. But when Casey finally turned back to face Zeke, the paper was stuck into his back pocket. The shit-eating grin Casey wore was maddening. “As I said, it's top secret,” he said.
“Huh?”
“I'm gonna go with vanilla, I think.” Casey took another few steps back, still grinning, before turning to head back onto the path.
“Hey. Hey,” Zeke said, going to follow in long strides. Before he could get in front of Casey, the boy stopped suddenly and turned. Zeke halted quick to avoid a collision. “You gotta give it back-“
“Who says?”
Zeke blinked furiously, unable to tell whether Casey was being playful and sweet, or stubborn about giving Zeke his 'final answer'. “C'mon, Case... I've...” He stopped to take a deep breath. “I've never DONE that before, and now I feel like an idiot.”
“Why?” Casey asked. He looked at Zeke, incredulous for a moment before scoffing and smiling wider. “Zeke, what you just did is so fucking adorable, I could scream.”
“So fucking seventh-grade, you mean.”
“You're so thick, god.”
“Huh?” Zeke muttered.
Casey made a long, tired sigh, leaned forward and looked at Zeke through the tops of his eyes. “The reason I don't wanna give the note back-is because I wanna bring it home, make a homemade frame out of popsicle sticks, glue and glitter and immortalize the moment. Hang it right on my wall.”
The 'yes' box had been ticked-off, without question. However excited Zeke was growing inside, he felt an odd disappointment. “But... it's my note. I'm supposed to get it back,” he said.
“I can make you a copy on my scanner?” Casey offered.
“Not the same. I want it, so give it.” For the next few seconds, Zeke tried being cocky, smirking and holding his hand out and flicking his fingers Casey's way. But when Casey's expression went soft and sad, the deep blue of his eyes mixing with the reflection of starlight above, Zeke felt a fluttering tremor build up in his stomach.
“Can I keep it... please?” Casey asked in a voice Zeke had never heard from the boy before. He could've asked for the keys to the GTO, or one of Zeke's kidneys; the soft yearning he'd put behind the words was enough for Zeke to sigh shakily and place a hand over Casey's hip. He curled a finger into a belt-loop and pulled Casey in.
“Let me see it, at least,” he said.
“Promise to give it back?”
“Mmhmm.” Zeke licked his lower lip and let his hand travel around Casey to the pocket. He was tempted to start groping the boy's ass right-off, but chose to smile, grab the paper edge sticking out and take a look.
Do you like love me? Zeke read, next looking down at the 'yes' box which held an uncountable amount of check marks.
“Zeke?”
“Mmm?” Zeke hummed, staring at the additions Casey had made.
“Just... one problem.” Casey took a slow, deep breath then let it out, saying, “I can't hide again. Coming-out, it was... it's still fuckin' scary. If we're gonna-”
Zeke shushed Casey by taking his chin to tilt his head and place the first of what would most undoubtedly be followed by many, many kisses upon the boy's lips. If there was ever a time for the cosmos above to explode and rain down on a pair of inconsequential humans, this was it; this kiss was world peace material, in Zeke's view, anyway. Going by Casey's light, barely-audible coos he made against Zeke's mouth, he felt the same way. Zeke broke away, but not entirely. He kept his lips close to Casey's, whispering tiny kisses while asking, “Senior banquet's this coming Friday. You got a date?”
“'Don't think so, I could check,” Casey said, his smile going bright and broad. Zeke matched it, nodding his forehead against his new lover's.
“Before that's the senior day-trip to the lake. Wanna share a blanket?”
“Oh, god... Gabe's face. His fucking face...”
“Will be broken in a dozen places if he steps to that shit.”
Casey shivered in what had to be a good way, going by the pleased-sounding groan he made deep in his throat. “But... we should... come out before that,” he said. It was Zeke's turn to tremble when Casey slid his tongue over Zeke's upper lip, smooth, slow and wonderfully-wet. “Like-make-out in the band hall first thing Monday morning.”
“Or we could just go eat some cake with the twenty-some-odd people back at Stan's,” Zeke next suggested. Casey's eyes flared wide then narrowed in an instant.
“I could get frosting on my chin and you can help with the clean-up.”
However delicious an idea that was, Zeke snorted with amusement and said, “Yeah, that's a stretch. You should've been born with a built-in bib, the way YOU plow blindly through a meal.”
“Well, now that you're my official, on-call napkin... are you gonna complain?” Casey asked before giving Zeke's lower lip a light bite and suck.
“Mmm-nnn-nope,” Zeke said in a throaty drawl. He then pulled away and took his new one-and-only's hand to bring him along, someone who hadn't noticed that Zeke had slipped the 'Yes or No' note into his pocket. He didn't plan on keeping it, as he wanted Casey to swear that he WOULD, indeed, make a special arts and crafts project out of it. But for now, he just wanted to hold it, have the proof on him that he'd finally done something right in his short but crazy life.