(no subject)
I have come to a very important, if not completely rational conclusion. It's been in my head for a long, long time, but new tidbits of information has me posting about it.
My conclusion after many tests and experiments, tests and experiments: Elijah and Josh had had a brief but intense sexual relationship while filming The Faculty, fraught with as much sexual deviance as they could stuff in there (har), with Josh being Elijah's first. However, note the 'brief' part of this declaration, while I add that it was not simply just quick, but extremely BITTER. We're talking vinegar and cough syrup cocktail bitter.
How I have I deduced this?
Strongest proof:
--Elijah and Josh seemed like fantastic friends during filming, and by all accounts, the lads and Rob-Rod often sat around together, talking shop and dreaming of movies they could make together. Then... nothing?
--'Pearl Harbor' had definitely earned the scorn and hatred from the nation, if not the world, but our normally sweet, innocent and angelic little man lovely lad made DAMNED sure everyone knew he thought it sucked. Quote (referencing an Indie film he liked, can't find which one): "That’s the kind of movie that should be making massive money - not that fucking Pearl Harbor piece of shit!" Why so angry, Lijie? Hmm? I mean yea, it's not a movie you necessarily speak kindly about, but what's with the scorn? Bitterness? Fury? Could it be, I dunno... EX-HATING?!?! Yes, I think that's it!
--A few weeks ago, it was reported that Josh got all diva on a bouncer's ass when he wasn't allowed into an exclusive club in the Hamptons. First off, I call shenanigans, simply because his saying "Don't you know who I am?!" is just as feasible as Lij doing it. We're talking about a guy who rushed into one of his movie premieres because he wanted the media's attention on the unknowns of the cast (this was ICWtR, if I recall correctly). He's always been presented as a humble young man who hasn't let fame get to his head. The only way I could ever seeing this happen is if he was blitzed on wine, but even then it's doubtful. The rumor mill LOVES Josh whenever they can snag him, with almost every male on the planet hating him because he's gorgeous (and as Pan once said, to guys, he DOES have the look of a guy that would screw your girlfriend in front of you) and sexy and awesome, so.. I call rumor, no tag-backs.
So now, all of a sudden, this Lij-blurb shows up in my yahoo!alerts, which reads:
The Lord of the Rings star can't understand why anyone would want to put themselves through the agony of visiting what he calls "overstyled douche cantinas".
In a column for Black Book magazine, he writes, "Crowds of people, dressed in their finery, standing outside, lining up around the block yearning for acceptance - only to enter a loud space with predominantly awful music, bottle service, and neither the room to move nor the ability to utter words that can be heard without shouting.
"I've often wondered why hordes flock to these overstyled douche cantinas."
It's almost as if he uses the media as his LJ, wherein he makes cryptic (and very English-diplomat-from-the 1800's-like) digs at someone he doesn't like. HMMMM.
Wild Speculations Proof:
--Sin City! It's all right there. Why WAS it made entirely in green screen to the point that practically NO ONE met each other because of CGI technology? Tension! I find it a bit odd that, after such a great working relationship 'twixt Josh, Lij and Rob-Rod was so prominently displayed, there weren't any reports or pics of them hanging out during filming or at the film's release parties. They've been at the same events together before as well, and there isn't one hint that they even know each other, never mind worked together at any point. The only reasonable deduction I (and Pan) can make from this is that Rob-Rod shared a cab with them during their breakup-point, was terrified at working with them again but WANTED to, didn't want to look like he was taking sides in casting his new movie project then said, "AHA! I can make the whole movie in green screen without them ever having to come into contact with each other!" No, don't argue this point of my argument, because it's solid. Entirely reasonable. Factual, even. Yes.
--Lord of the Rings. So what, ten minutes after The Fac's finished, Lij jets to New Zealand. Hmmm. Never mind the zombie-movie-making talks he had with RR and Josh, noooo, time for Hobbiton. It was the best thing he ever did, according to his own interviews and articles, but nay, I do not think it was all because of the film itself. His heart had been slain, SLAIN, I tell you, in breaking up with the man who'd taken his virginity. And let's not forget the wild success Lij had in making these movies--a wonderful chance to one-up his former lover, who went on to do Pearl Harbor... whiiiiich takes us back to the irrefutable proof above. See, we've come full-circle, folks! Have I got your faith yet?
--Spy Kids 2 and 3. Lij wasn't in #2, but Michael Christopher (thx I_G, got stuck with the M's or sumfin) McDonald, aka Mr. Frank Connor, HAD been. It's very obvious, in Rob's skipping Lij to the THIRD movie that Mr. Connor had taken sides in the messy breakup. Sure, he plays Elijah's father in the movie, but we all know who the REAL lost, rebellious and deep-hurt-inside character was, and who played him. Obviously, Michael related more to Josh's side, perhaps tried to play mediator but nothing-doing. Lost cause. Kaput. Hate, hate and more hate swelled. And why wasn't Josh called in to take part in this series? Why was he not cast as "Guy #2" to Elijah's "The Guy"? This is an obvious ball of suspicion and tomfuckery to me, as it should be to you.
How it Allllll Iz
Lij and Josh made fast friends on-set: Josh, the not-as-experienced actor who didn't have many connections yet, Lij, the VERY-experienced and hyperactive actor who wanted a friend his age to relate to. Rob-Rod was their 'bringing together' factor. It started off slow, perhaps with Josh not knowing what to make of this young man who liked talking a lot. But Elijah grew on him, and grew and grew, all the while Elijah had an instantaneous crush upon his co-star. And finally, somewhere near the end of filming, they confided a deep attraction to each other and made love to each other's gorgeous bodies until the wee hours of the night. this led to the pictures of opening night, where they're seen together, Josh's arm draped over Elijah's shoulders as if to say, "See this boy? He's mine, alllll mine." Of course, let's not forget the extremely intimate act of giving Elijah his first cigarette. Call "that's unhealthy!" as much as you like, but it's still a very intimate affair, that.
But something happened along the way. While I can't make any deductions as to what it was, exactly, it was something crazy enough to bring about this 12-year silence betwixt the lads. Lij's considering the NZ trip when he promised to take smaller, local roles? The pressure on Josh to find a beard? Elijah wanting something more than quick stops to a diner for dates? Josh's insecurity when it came to his career? Their equal bitterness when the end of the REAL Faculty was changed from Casey and Zeke being the only ones to survive and driving off into the sunrise as an alien-killing team to the Stupidy McHappy ending, thus causing friction between the poor boys? Whatever it was, it hit them hard. With Elijah giving up his cherry to Josh, it made it all that much worse and terrible, and it's something he can't forgive Josh for--even if he'd been entirely consensual, BEGGED for it, even. Lij couldn't bear the idea that he thought he'd made a 'mistake', so he reflected his anger in the media. Josh, in hiding from the scorn and anger of the American Public over 'Pearl Harbor' has to read nasty, vicious attacks from his ex, the only one he's ever loved, which turned him resentful and angry in turn. But there's nothing about HIS take when it comes to Lij's career. Why wouldn't he have reveled in his ex-boyfriend's success in doing LotR, unless there was already a bitter, dark cloud over them? Why weren't there quotes from HIM, dogging out films like 'North'?
Guilt, my friends. Guilt. Which makes him even MORE furious, as really, he didn't do anything wrong. Yet still, those fragrant clove cigarettes hung in their fingers all those years, the two of them having that one, tiny bond.
Then there's Dom, of course. His being Elijah's second hot boyfriend helped Elijah work through the gloom, while Josh pranced around with girls like ScarJo and supermodels. How he tries to hide, to not feel the pain of watching his lover go to B&Bs with the new man in his life, hug and kiss with enough caution to keep people guessing when he knows.
...So, have I convinced you? No, not that I'm a raging J/E shipping lunatic who comes up with half-cocked theories and ridiculous speculations... amirite, amirite? Discuss!!
My conclusion after many tests and experiments, tests and experiments: Elijah and Josh had had a brief but intense sexual relationship while filming The Faculty, fraught with as much sexual deviance as they could stuff in there (har), with Josh being Elijah's first. However, note the 'brief' part of this declaration, while I add that it was not simply just quick, but extremely BITTER. We're talking vinegar and cough syrup cocktail bitter.
How I have I deduced this?
Strongest proof:
--Elijah and Josh seemed like fantastic friends during filming, and by all accounts, the lads and Rob-Rod often sat around together, talking shop and dreaming of movies they could make together. Then... nothing?
--'Pearl Harbor' had definitely earned the scorn and hatred from the nation, if not the world, but our normally sweet, innocent and angelic little man lovely lad made DAMNED sure everyone knew he thought it sucked. Quote (referencing an Indie film he liked, can't find which one): "That’s the kind of movie that should be making massive money - not that fucking Pearl Harbor piece of shit!" Why so angry, Lijie? Hmm? I mean yea, it's not a movie you necessarily speak kindly about, but what's with the scorn? Bitterness? Fury? Could it be, I dunno... EX-HATING?!?! Yes, I think that's it!
--A few weeks ago, it was reported that Josh got all diva on a bouncer's ass when he wasn't allowed into an exclusive club in the Hamptons. First off, I call shenanigans, simply because his saying "Don't you know who I am?!" is just as feasible as Lij doing it. We're talking about a guy who rushed into one of his movie premieres because he wanted the media's attention on the unknowns of the cast (this was ICWtR, if I recall correctly). He's always been presented as a humble young man who hasn't let fame get to his head. The only way I could ever seeing this happen is if he was blitzed on wine, but even then it's doubtful. The rumor mill LOVES Josh whenever they can snag him, with almost every male on the planet hating him because he's gorgeous (and as Pan once said, to guys, he DOES have the look of a guy that would screw your girlfriend in front of you) and sexy and awesome, so.. I call rumor, no tag-backs.
So now, all of a sudden, this Lij-blurb shows up in my yahoo!alerts, which reads:
The Lord of the Rings star can't understand why anyone would want to put themselves through the agony of visiting what he calls "overstyled douche cantinas".
In a column for Black Book magazine, he writes, "Crowds of people, dressed in their finery, standing outside, lining up around the block yearning for acceptance - only to enter a loud space with predominantly awful music, bottle service, and neither the room to move nor the ability to utter words that can be heard without shouting.
"I've often wondered why hordes flock to these overstyled douche cantinas."
It's almost as if he uses the media as his LJ, wherein he makes cryptic (and very English-diplomat-from-the 1800's-like) digs at someone he doesn't like. HMMMM.
Wild Speculations Proof:
--Sin City! It's all right there. Why WAS it made entirely in green screen to the point that practically NO ONE met each other because of CGI technology? Tension! I find it a bit odd that, after such a great working relationship 'twixt Josh, Lij and Rob-Rod was so prominently displayed, there weren't any reports or pics of them hanging out during filming or at the film's release parties. They've been at the same events together before as well, and there isn't one hint that they even know each other, never mind worked together at any point. The only reasonable deduction I (and Pan) can make from this is that Rob-Rod shared a cab with them during their breakup-point, was terrified at working with them again but WANTED to, didn't want to look like he was taking sides in casting his new movie project then said, "AHA! I can make the whole movie in green screen without them ever having to come into contact with each other!" No, don't argue this point of my argument, because it's solid. Entirely reasonable. Factual, even. Yes.
--Lord of the Rings. So what, ten minutes after The Fac's finished, Lij jets to New Zealand. Hmmm. Never mind the zombie-movie-making talks he had with RR and Josh, noooo, time for Hobbiton. It was the best thing he ever did, according to his own interviews and articles, but nay, I do not think it was all because of the film itself. His heart had been slain, SLAIN, I tell you, in breaking up with the man who'd taken his virginity. And let's not forget the wild success Lij had in making these movies--a wonderful chance to one-up his former lover, who went on to do Pearl Harbor... whiiiiich takes us back to the irrefutable proof above. See, we've come full-circle, folks! Have I got your faith yet?
--Spy Kids 2 and 3. Lij wasn't in #2, but Michael Christopher (thx I_G, got stuck with the M's or sumfin) McDonald, aka Mr. Frank Connor, HAD been. It's very obvious, in Rob's skipping Lij to the THIRD movie that Mr. Connor had taken sides in the messy breakup. Sure, he plays Elijah's father in the movie, but we all know who the REAL lost, rebellious and deep-hurt-inside character was, and who played him. Obviously, Michael related more to Josh's side, perhaps tried to play mediator but nothing-doing. Lost cause. Kaput. Hate, hate and more hate swelled. And why wasn't Josh called in to take part in this series? Why was he not cast as "Guy #2" to Elijah's "The Guy"? This is an obvious ball of suspicion and tomfuckery to me, as it should be to you.
How it Allllll Iz
Lij and Josh made fast friends on-set: Josh, the not-as-experienced actor who didn't have many connections yet, Lij, the VERY-experienced and hyperactive actor who wanted a friend his age to relate to. Rob-Rod was their 'bringing together' factor. It started off slow, perhaps with Josh not knowing what to make of this young man who liked talking a lot. But Elijah grew on him, and grew and grew, all the while Elijah had an instantaneous crush upon his co-star. And finally, somewhere near the end of filming, they confided a deep attraction to each other and made love to each other's gorgeous bodies until the wee hours of the night. this led to the pictures of opening night, where they're seen together, Josh's arm draped over Elijah's shoulders as if to say, "See this boy? He's mine, alllll mine." Of course, let's not forget the extremely intimate act of giving Elijah his first cigarette. Call "that's unhealthy!" as much as you like, but it's still a very intimate affair, that.
But something happened along the way. While I can't make any deductions as to what it was, exactly, it was something crazy enough to bring about this 12-year silence betwixt the lads. Lij's considering the NZ trip when he promised to take smaller, local roles? The pressure on Josh to find a beard? Elijah wanting something more than quick stops to a diner for dates? Josh's insecurity when it came to his career? Their equal bitterness when the end of the REAL Faculty was changed from Casey and Zeke being the only ones to survive and driving off into the sunrise as an alien-killing team to the Stupidy McHappy ending, thus causing friction between the poor boys? Whatever it was, it hit them hard. With Elijah giving up his cherry to Josh, it made it all that much worse and terrible, and it's something he can't forgive Josh for--even if he'd been entirely consensual, BEGGED for it, even. Lij couldn't bear the idea that he thought he'd made a 'mistake', so he reflected his anger in the media. Josh, in hiding from the scorn and anger of the American Public over 'Pearl Harbor' has to read nasty, vicious attacks from his ex, the only one he's ever loved, which turned him resentful and angry in turn. But there's nothing about HIS take when it comes to Lij's career. Why wouldn't he have reveled in his ex-boyfriend's success in doing LotR, unless there was already a bitter, dark cloud over them? Why weren't there quotes from HIM, dogging out films like 'North'?
Guilt, my friends. Guilt. Which makes him even MORE furious, as really, he didn't do anything wrong. Yet still, those fragrant clove cigarettes hung in their fingers all those years, the two of them having that one, tiny bond.
Then there's Dom, of course. His being Elijah's second hot boyfriend helped Elijah work through the gloom, while Josh pranced around with girls like ScarJo and supermodels. How he tries to hide, to not feel the pain of watching his lover go to B&Bs with the new man in his life, hug and kiss with enough caution to keep people guessing when he knows.
...So, have I convinced you? No, not that I'm a raging J/E shipping lunatic who comes up with half-cocked theories and ridiculous speculations... amirite, amirite? Discuss!!