(no subject)
Maybe it's just me, but I don't uses friends-filters, and the only filters I have up to use for my OWN journal are ones where I don't want old exes of mine dropping by/my idiot brother or other fam/people on LJ who are just VERY obviously here for fic/etc. to read. 97.5% of my journal is completely open or friended to everyone on my list. I understand some people use them, quite justifiably, and that's your prerogative.
That said, when I assume that I'm a good friend to someone then, when looking through tags to find an older post of theirs then inadvertently find out that I'm being filtered, I get a little sad. One or two posts I can't read? Okay, understandable. I don't need to know everything about you. It's okay. And if, let's say, it was under a tag titled 'Elijah/Hannah Smex!' I wouldn't mind at all, as that pairing is a bitta squick for me (no offense). I have an ebul filter myself, mainly put there so sensitive-readers don't read a rapin', torturin' tale that would make them cry.
But only 3 out of 30 posts visible? Or even 5 out of 60/70? Why am I even on their friend's list? What am I not a part of? Or worse, in that paranoid-everyone's-out-to-get-me way, what are they saying about me? I don't really care if that last one's total paranoia, though, y'know. I don't. If they were a fly-by-night person, one I rarely talk to, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. But when I think, 'Oh hey, I gotta find that post they made ages ago, it was so funny! Can't remember when they made it though, hmm... I know, I'll see if they tagged it!' then go to look and I find this out... well, things aren't that funny anymore. I've been trying for years and years to get over that fear that someone's not telling me the truth, or even 'out to get me'. It's always been a complex of mine. I've been a little sensitive when it comes to feeling out-of-the-loop with real-life friends and family over the past few days. This. Doesn't. Help. That.
Anyway. In off-topic land...
I walked straight into my car last night because I'm an amateur astronomer. Lol. "Damn, the skies aren't very clear, just a little OW." But later, coming back home from the store, I saw the most amazing shooting-star. It looked more like a comet, or fireworks; very short but WIDE and sending enormous sparks into the atmosphere. I freaked. It was right under Altair (I screwed up the star positions BIG time, thinking it'd been Vega... I confused fugging Saturn with Spica. Duh.) and just... gorgeous.
So of course, I went to take the barely-used-thus-far telescope out. I forgot the eyepieces so I went back in, stood around talking with Pan a sec then OOPS, cat gets out. I go after him, not having to go far as he kinda freezes in his spot. But he made to take off, I leapt at him... aaaaaand proceeded to tear my pinky-toe open on the small cinder-block-like row of stone lining our patio. We're talking the entire tip of it almost getting sliced off. Blood, blood, blood, all over the kitchen's linoleum. Needless to say, I chose to play around with Stellarium on the computer after Pan bandaged me up instead of REAL sky-watching.
I heal like a mofo, though. Just redressed it and it deffo looks banged-up, but already healing no prob.
*sigh* 3 outta 30. Still boggled.
That said, when I assume that I'm a good friend to someone then, when looking through tags to find an older post of theirs then inadvertently find out that I'm being filtered, I get a little sad. One or two posts I can't read? Okay, understandable. I don't need to know everything about you. It's okay. And if, let's say, it was under a tag titled 'Elijah/Hannah Smex!' I wouldn't mind at all, as that pairing is a bitta squick for me (no offense). I have an ebul filter myself, mainly put there so sensitive-readers don't read a rapin', torturin' tale that would make them cry.
But only 3 out of 30 posts visible? Or even 5 out of 60/70? Why am I even on their friend's list? What am I not a part of? Or worse, in that paranoid-everyone's-out-to-get-me way, what are they saying about me? I don't really care if that last one's total paranoia, though, y'know. I don't. If they were a fly-by-night person, one I rarely talk to, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. But when I think, 'Oh hey, I gotta find that post they made ages ago, it was so funny! Can't remember when they made it though, hmm... I know, I'll see if they tagged it!' then go to look and I find this out... well, things aren't that funny anymore. I've been trying for years and years to get over that fear that someone's not telling me the truth, or even 'out to get me'. It's always been a complex of mine. I've been a little sensitive when it comes to feeling out-of-the-loop with real-life friends and family over the past few days. This. Doesn't. Help. That.
Anyway. In off-topic land...
I walked straight into my car last night because I'm an amateur astronomer. Lol. "Damn, the skies aren't very clear, just a little OW." But later, coming back home from the store, I saw the most amazing shooting-star. It looked more like a comet, or fireworks; very short but WIDE and sending enormous sparks into the atmosphere. I freaked. It was right under Altair (I screwed up the star positions BIG time, thinking it'd been Vega... I confused fugging Saturn with Spica. Duh.) and just... gorgeous.
So of course, I went to take the barely-used-thus-far telescope out. I forgot the eyepieces so I went back in, stood around talking with Pan a sec then OOPS, cat gets out. I go after him, not having to go far as he kinda freezes in his spot. But he made to take off, I leapt at him... aaaaaand proceeded to tear my pinky-toe open on the small cinder-block-like row of stone lining our patio. We're talking the entire tip of it almost getting sliced off. Blood, blood, blood, all over the kitchen's linoleum. Needless to say, I chose to play around with Stellarium on the computer after Pan bandaged me up instead of REAL sky-watching.
I heal like a mofo, though. Just redressed it and it deffo looks banged-up, but already healing no prob.
*sigh* 3 outta 30. Still boggled.