(no subject)
I was gonna post about our night out at my bosses' party and how fun it was, but...
*We're overdrawn, so no Christmas tree for us this year. Got Gavs' sorted with his presents, along with the other kids, so whatever.
*The car is pretty much done. Gave Pan a ride to work this morning with a NEW noise going on--an unsettling, terrible rattling that grew worse and worse. We have no cash to tow it to the mechanic (I ain't driving this shit anywhere from hereon in), so I'm gonna ask my mom for yet another fucking favor, to see if I can use her AAA card. She usually lets us, but like hell if it matters. It's probably gonna be this million buck problem, so I'm considering us to be carless from now on.
*How the fuck are we gonna get around for Christmas at ALL? I suppose we can ask for rides, but it makes me sick to think about.
I've tried *so hard* to be positive, even when things are at their worst. I've been doing my best to keep Pan from freaking out with Pollyanna-like, "It's not so bad, we'll make it"s, or "We've got it better than some people."s. Well, I've had it. I don't care. I'm just sitting here crying; I wanted to come home, laugh about the fun we had last night, write more Geek, then go pick up Pan at work before my tiny shift at the store tonight. But no--I get to be raging upset and hoping the fucking holidays go by fast, because I don't want to deal with them right now. I was looking so forward to them because things seemed to be getting better, but now? Now I hate fucking everything.
*We're overdrawn, so no Christmas tree for us this year. Got Gavs' sorted with his presents, along with the other kids, so whatever.
*The car is pretty much done. Gave Pan a ride to work this morning with a NEW noise going on--an unsettling, terrible rattling that grew worse and worse. We have no cash to tow it to the mechanic (I ain't driving this shit anywhere from hereon in), so I'm gonna ask my mom for yet another fucking favor, to see if I can use her AAA card. She usually lets us, but like hell if it matters. It's probably gonna be this million buck problem, so I'm considering us to be carless from now on.
*How the fuck are we gonna get around for Christmas at ALL? I suppose we can ask for rides, but it makes me sick to think about.
I've tried *so hard* to be positive, even when things are at their worst. I've been doing my best to keep Pan from freaking out with Pollyanna-like, "It's not so bad, we'll make it"s, or "We've got it better than some people."s. Well, I've had it. I don't care. I'm just sitting here crying; I wanted to come home, laugh about the fun we had last night, write more Geek, then go pick up Pan at work before my tiny shift at the store tonight. But no--I get to be raging upset and hoping the fucking holidays go by fast, because I don't want to deal with them right now. I was looking so forward to them because things seemed to be getting better, but now? Now I hate fucking everything.