Again with the health care.
I am at church, on the church computer. I found out when I returned from NYC that my referral from PP to FC didn't go through. I had to wait for that. Then I scheduled an appointment for last Tuesday, at 1:40. My meeting in Seattle was at 6:00. That gave me a good hour and a half for the appointment. When I got there, they told me, "Oh, the doctor isn't here...he may not be here until around 3:30." Well, I needed to go be interviewed by the Vestry. So I said I couldn't do that and could I please have another appointment. So they booked me for noon today. I went at noon, was told, "Oh the doctor isn't here...maybe around 1:00?" So I sat and waited. And waited. They said I could leave and they would call my cell, so I left to go to the grocery store. But then came back and waited. Until 2:30, at which point I went back to the desk and said, "
Excuse me, I've been waiting two and a half hours - when might I see the doctor?" And they said, "Uh, he was here but he left again. He'll come back. Want us to call your cell?" I said yes, and now, three and a half hours later, I am sitting at church, waiting for a call.
I don't blame Farmworkers - they are a good clinic and what's happening to me is pretty standard for people who are poor with no insurance. (What I inferred about the way they are talking about the doctor's schedule is that he may not be paid at FC? And that his patients are at the hospital, often delivering and he needs to be there? He has to go whenever the hospital pages him and then work in the FC visits around getting paged.) I worry bc it intersects with my body stuff in unhealthy ways. Like, I HATE GOING TO THE DOCTOR AT ALL. I hate the scrutiny. I hate having to talk to a stranger about my body which I don't like. I got hit by a car going 30 mph - hood of the car, rolling, flying, landing in the middle of Boren and Spring Streets in Seattle during rush hour - and only went to the ER because one of the bystanders MADE ME. Like, would not leave until I went. Walked me there (it was a block away, conveniently). But I didn't have insurance then either. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to be looked at and billed for it. I wanted to go to work. It was smart and kind of that person to take care of me, because I was, of course, hurt. But everything in me wanted to not go. I hate doctors. I hate them, hate them, hate them. And I am shit-awful at standing up for myself medically in any way. I simply do not have internal resources to self-advocate for body stuff; I need people around who will make me take care of my body.
I am about to abandon it today. I have writing to do for a meeting tomorrow. I need to write. I'm tired from Lilly's birthday party last night. I wanted to go to the Y but forgot my sneakers. I might go to Pilates and do it barefoot. But for serious, if they don't call in the next half an hour, I am gone. I leave for Alaska for a month on Sunday, and if it's something serious, then it's something serious, because I'm on the boat, and there's not a whole lot that can be done about it.
Excuse me, I've been waiting two and a half hours - when might I see the doctor?" And they said, "Uh, he was here but he left again. He'll come back. Want us to call your cell?" I said yes, and now, three and a half hours later, I am sitting at church, waiting for a call.
I don't blame Farmworkers - they are a good clinic and what's happening to me is pretty standard for people who are poor with no insurance. (What I inferred about the way they are talking about the doctor's schedule is that he may not be paid at FC? And that his patients are at the hospital, often delivering and he needs to be there? He has to go whenever the hospital pages him and then work in the FC visits around getting paged.) I worry bc it intersects with my body stuff in unhealthy ways. Like, I HATE GOING TO THE DOCTOR AT ALL. I hate the scrutiny. I hate having to talk to a stranger about my body which I don't like. I got hit by a car going 30 mph - hood of the car, rolling, flying, landing in the middle of Boren and Spring Streets in Seattle during rush hour - and only went to the ER because one of the bystanders MADE ME. Like, would not leave until I went. Walked me there (it was a block away, conveniently). But I didn't have insurance then either. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to be looked at and billed for it. I wanted to go to work. It was smart and kind of that person to take care of me, because I was, of course, hurt. But everything in me wanted to not go. I hate doctors. I hate them, hate them, hate them. And I am shit-awful at standing up for myself medically in any way. I simply do not have internal resources to self-advocate for body stuff; I need people around who will make me take care of my body.
I am about to abandon it today. I have writing to do for a meeting tomorrow. I need to write. I'm tired from Lilly's birthday party last night. I wanted to go to the Y but forgot my sneakers. I might go to Pilates and do it barefoot. But for serious, if they don't call in the next half an hour, I am gone. I leave for Alaska for a month on Sunday, and if it's something serious, then it's something serious, because I'm on the boat, and there's not a whole lot that can be done about it.