I need a thneed.
I'm so tired all the time. I dont know what's wrong with me. i can sleep for days if i let myself. My schoolwork is going pretty well- last quarter was so bad, i cant let that happen again. I'm still looking for a counselour becuase the one i thought i found isn't covered by our insurance. I keep alot of lights and fresh flowers in my room and that helps me stay pretty chill. thats pretty much what i'm about right now, staying calm, chill, in control, not stressed. Its hard becuase i feel afraid and anxious all the time. Yesterday i was walking to class and there was this big crowd and i suddenly felt so awful i just wanted to run back to my car and cry. I felt like i was drowning, or being swallowed. i am not doing anything extracurricular this term. i just cant handle it. I dont even return people's phone calls, becuase i just cant handle it. Work is starting to become an issue as well. Sometimes i worry that I'll never get married and have kids.
good things about my life right now: 1. All the kid's books that i'm reading right now for my children's lit class make me so happy. I've rediscovered DR Suess and i'm in love, plus i'm reading this really sweet children's novel called Olive's ocean. 2. I've been baking alot, it makes me feels happy and warm and needed. i bake chocolate cake for my dad with german choclate frosting from scratch. 3. i draw alot. i bring my markers everywhere and draw every chance i get. mostly i draw ridiculous cliche little superhero graphics, but whatever. its for me.