I'm Sorry...
So someone has finally put me in my place and let me know how horrible of a person I am. I have finally been rejected and let known that I mean nothing to one person. Regardless of how hard I try, no matter how many times a day I call and no matter what I do for this person, they don't care. I find myself following this person, thinking and holding onto the smallest hope that they may care about me half as much as I care about them. Tonight I watch as my hope dwindles and finally burns out. I find myself turning over ashes trying to find any last trace of hope but I find nothing. So I have thrown myself into work and devoted my free time to trying to win the heart of someone that feels nothing for me. In the meantime, while I have wastes days, weeks, months chasing my false hopes, I have hurt a number of people along the way, one in particular. not only my family, but people that have come to love me in these past months. I worked so hard to try and earn the love of one person that I failed to notice and acknowledge the people that have been there for me and actually cared for me in return. I have ignored them, used them, lied to them, and god knows what else. So I guess I am trying to say that I am sorry for the person I have been. I can't go back and change anything that has happened as much as I would like to. But I can try and start over. I feel as though I have to regrow my heart. I have no trust for anyone therefore I have noone. I have been hurt one too many times and hurt one too many people. So I hope those of you I have affected can forgive me. I LOVE YOU
Christina
Christina