part 2
Sheldon: You can try, but you'll never catch me. Bazinga!
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From episode The Einstein Approximation.
Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
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From episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion.
Raj: I don't like bugs, okay? They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
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From episode The Jiminy Conjecture.
Leonard: What were you doing at Penny's?
Sheldon: Well, we had dinner, played some games, and then I spent the night. Oh, and you'll be happy to know that I now have a much better understanding of 'friends with benefits.'
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From episode The Vegas Renormalization.
Penny: So what do you say Sheldon, are we your X-men?
Sheldon: No, the X-men were named for the X in Charles Xavier. Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be, my C-men.
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From episode The Pants Alternative.
Sheldon: Ah, gravity - thou art a heartless bitch.
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From episode The Big Bran Hypothesis.
Sheldon: I'm not insane, my mother had me tested!
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From episode The Griffin Equivalency.
Sheldon: A little misunderstanding? Galileo and the Pope had a little misunderstanding...
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From episode The Nerdvana Annihilation.
Sheldon: I trust Leonard satisfied you sexually last night.
Leonard: Oh good God! Sheldon we don't ask questions like that!
Sheldon: I heard you ask it over and over. How is it inappropriate for me to ask it once?
Stephanie: He did very nicely.
Sheldon: See? She's not offended. And now you FINALLY have an answer.
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From episode The Vartabedian Conundrum.
Penny: I give up. He's impossible!
Sheldon: I can't be impossible; I exist! I think what you meant to say is, 'I give up; he's improbable'.
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From episode The Gothowitz Deviation.
Leonard: For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?
Sheldon (intrigued): You have a sarcasm sign?
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From episode The Big Bran Hypothesis.
Sheldon: I am not crazy, my mother had me tested.
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From episode The Jiminy Conjecture.
Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for 'soup' tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not 'soup'; it's 'courage'.
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.
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From episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency.
Sheldon: Cause of Injury: Lack of Adhesive Ducks.
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From episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency.
Sheldon: *After just being jailed, at the biggest guy in the cell who's sitting on a bench* That's my spot.
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From episode The Excelsior Acquisition.
Sheldon: I made tea.
Leonard: I don't want tea.
Sheldon: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea.
Leonard: Then why are you telling me?
Sheldon: It's a conversation starter.
Leonard: That's a lousy conversation starter.
Sheldon: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.
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From episode The Maternal Congruence.
Sheldon: Interesting. Sex works even better than chocolate to modify behavior. I wonder if anyone else has stumbled onto that.
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From episode The Gothowitz Deviation.
Sheldon: Leonard, you may be right. It appears that Penny secretly wants you in her life in a very intimate and carnal fashion.
Leonard: You really think so?
Sheldon: Of course not. Even in my sleep-deprived state, I've managed to pull off another one of my classic pranks. BAZINGA!
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From episode The Monopolar Expedition.
Leonard: I'm just saying, you catch more flies with honey then with vinegar.
Sheldon: You catch even more with manure, what's your point?
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From episode The Gothowitz Deviation.
Sheldon: Howard, you know me to be a very smart man. Don't you think that if I were wrong, I'd know it?
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From episode The Jiminy Conjecture.
Sheldon: Hello Penny. I realize you are currently in the mercy if your primitive biological urges. But, as you have an entire lifetime of poor decisions ahead of you, may I interrupt this one?
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From episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation.
Penny: Would it be weird if I used your shower?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: (to Sheldon) No!
Sheldon: No?
Leonard: No!
Sheldon: (to Penny) No.
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From episode Pilot.
Sheldon: What exactly does that expression mean, 'friends with benefits?' Does he provide her with health insurance?
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From episode The Vegas Renormalization.
Sheldon: You can't make a half sandwich. If it's not half of a whole sandwich, it's just a small sandwich.
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From episode The Guitarist Amplification.
Penny: I always tear up when the Grinch's heart grows three sizes.
Sheldon: Tears seem appropriate. Enlargement of the heart muscle, or hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, is a serious disease which can lead to congestive heart failure.
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From episode The Einstein Approximation.
Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
Rate this quote:
From episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion.
Raj: I don't like bugs, okay? They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
Rate this quote:
From episode The Jiminy Conjecture.
Leonard: What were you doing at Penny's?
Sheldon: Well, we had dinner, played some games, and then I spent the night. Oh, and you'll be happy to know that I now have a much better understanding of 'friends with benefits.'
Rate this quote:
From episode The Vegas Renormalization.
Penny: So what do you say Sheldon, are we your X-men?
Sheldon: No, the X-men were named for the X in Charles Xavier. Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be, my C-men.
Rate this quote:
From episode The Pants Alternative.
Sheldon: Ah, gravity - thou art a heartless bitch.
Rate this quote:
From episode The Big Bran Hypothesis.
Sheldon: I'm not insane, my mother had me tested!
Rate this quote:
From episode The Griffin Equivalency.
Sheldon: A little misunderstanding? Galileo and the Pope had a little misunderstanding...
Rate this quote:
From episode The Nerdvana Annihilation.
Sheldon: I trust Leonard satisfied you sexually last night.
Leonard: Oh good God! Sheldon we don't ask questions like that!
Sheldon: I heard you ask it over and over. How is it inappropriate for me to ask it once?
Stephanie: He did very nicely.
Sheldon: See? She's not offended. And now you FINALLY have an answer.
Rate this quote:
From episode The Vartabedian Conundrum.
Penny: I give up. He's impossible!
Sheldon: I can't be impossible; I exist! I think what you meant to say is, 'I give up; he's improbable'.
Rate this quote:
From episode The Gothowitz Deviation.
Leonard: For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?
Sheldon (intrigued): You have a sarcasm sign?
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From episode The Big Bran Hypothesis.
Sheldon: I am not crazy, my mother had me tested.
Rate this quote:
From episode The Jiminy Conjecture.
Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for 'soup' tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not 'soup'; it's 'courage'.
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.
Rate this quote:
From episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency.
Sheldon: Cause of Injury: Lack of Adhesive Ducks.
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From episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency.
Sheldon: *After just being jailed, at the biggest guy in the cell who's sitting on a bench* That's my spot.
Rate this quote:
From episode The Excelsior Acquisition.
Sheldon: I made tea.
Leonard: I don't want tea.
Sheldon: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea.
Leonard: Then why are you telling me?
Sheldon: It's a conversation starter.
Leonard: That's a lousy conversation starter.
Sheldon: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.
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From episode The Maternal Congruence.
Sheldon: Interesting. Sex works even better than chocolate to modify behavior. I wonder if anyone else has stumbled onto that.
Rate this quote:
From episode The Gothowitz Deviation.
Sheldon: Leonard, you may be right. It appears that Penny secretly wants you in her life in a very intimate and carnal fashion.
Leonard: You really think so?
Sheldon: Of course not. Even in my sleep-deprived state, I've managed to pull off another one of my classic pranks. BAZINGA!
Rate this quote:
From episode The Monopolar Expedition.
Leonard: I'm just saying, you catch more flies with honey then with vinegar.
Sheldon: You catch even more with manure, what's your point?
Rate this quote:
From episode The Gothowitz Deviation.
Sheldon: Howard, you know me to be a very smart man. Don't you think that if I were wrong, I'd know it?
Rate this quote:
From episode The Jiminy Conjecture.
Sheldon: Hello Penny. I realize you are currently in the mercy if your primitive biological urges. But, as you have an entire lifetime of poor decisions ahead of you, may I interrupt this one?
Rate this quote:
From episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation.
Penny: Would it be weird if I used your shower?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: (to Sheldon) No!
Sheldon: No?
Leonard: No!
Sheldon: (to Penny) No.
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From episode Pilot.
Sheldon: What exactly does that expression mean, 'friends with benefits?' Does he provide her with health insurance?
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From episode The Vegas Renormalization.
Sheldon: You can't make a half sandwich. If it's not half of a whole sandwich, it's just a small sandwich.
Rate this quote:
From episode The Guitarist Amplification.
Penny: I always tear up when the Grinch's heart grows three sizes.
Sheldon: Tears seem appropriate. Enlargement of the heart muscle, or hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, is a serious disease which can lead to congestive heart failure.
Rate this quote: