The danger and the power, the friend and the foe.
This has been.. by far.. the most emotionally conflicted twenty-four hours of my life. I think my head's still spinning.
I woke up beside Tasuki yesterday morning, which s the start of a good day by any means. No complaints there.
While at work, I see that Schuldich has replied to my post. I can't figure out if I'm shocked, terrified, or some insane mix of both. We argue about perfection, and things seem strangely normal. In fact, the normalcy of it all makes my hair stand on end.
Continue working.
Haine calls. Of course, I worry, I meet him, I worry more. This is normal. We go to the cafe.
Tasuki is at the cafe. I remember suggesting that he should try it out, but I was somehow surprised to see him there. He seems-- uncomfortable, so I make my way over to him. Things calm down between he and that Axel fellow, all seems well. But this point, I'm ready to leave.
...
Tres. Tres walks in. Of all people, at all times, he just shows up. This is not a bad thing, but my hair stands on end again. I must have looked tense, because Tasuki and Axel both asked if I was okay. Tres overhears me, and speaks.
A rather long, awkward, painful, thoughtful, and yet somehow refreshing conversation takes place. Tasuki seems to get more uncomfortable. Of course, this makes me uncomfortable. At some point during this exchange, Haine asked me for advice about Nill and found myself amused. After that, it was back to being slightly sad.
Hikari.. is singing, and has been for a while. He's dressed like a woman again.
Doctor Faust seems to be brutalizing a muffin, which I choose to ignore. The man did not look well, and his antics were more than just a little unsettling. Tres seems unsettled as well, and I suggest he goes home and gets some rest. He does not argue.
Things are looking well, and Tasuki and I are making our way to the door.
And Hikari corners Tres. He looked.. almost helpless, which really didn't sit well with me. I asked if he needed an escort home, to which he acknowledged me with a glance. So, I wait. Hikari seems to finish up, but then asks if he can dance. Tres says yes, and I am certain of his doom.
I ask Tasuki to take me home. We're getting ready to go, I say goodbye to Haine and Nill, and Tres of course.. but when I do I note this trapped expression on his face. Still, I go.
And outside.. it seems that Tasuki had gotten the wrong idea about the past between Tres and I. He was jealous, I explained.. probably rather poorly, because I was shaken and feeling guilty for abandoning Tres. He told me to go back, but.. I couldn't bring myself to. I stayed with Tasuki instead.
And continued explaining.. and let my feelings for him slip, which I do not regret.
He ended up telling me he felt the same way. I don't think I've ever been as happy in my whole life as I was in that moment.
So happy that.. I kissed him. We've kissed before, but.. I've never taken it upon myself to kiss someone like that. And I learned for a fact just how good of a man he is. I'm overwhelmed. The feeling can only be described as euphoria.
We went home and went to bed. And I just woke up at his side again. it's a wonderful thing. Twenty four hours, and I wouldn't trade them, not even the uncomfortable parts.
Tres-- I'm sorry about leaving last night, I didn't know what else to do. There was probably nothing I could have done, but-- somehow it just felt like abandonment. Are you okay?
Oh, and Haine wanted me to give you his number, so here it is. xxx-xxxx.
Please let me know that you're well, it would be most reassuring. Again, I'm very sorry. Though- from what I did see as I was leaving, you're a very good ballroom dancer. Even if it was with Hikari. x_x;; Hopefully that offers some comfort?
Tasuki-- Thank you for another wonderful evening, and just being there for me. I'm getting to the point that I don't know what I'd do without you, and I don't want to know. I'm so glad to have met you. <3 Loki sends his love. I'll see you when I get home tonight.
Time for a new day. I have to wonder if this one will be as eventful, but I somehow don't think it can compare.
On a slightly different note, why does this song remind me of Hikari? Strange.
I woke up beside Tasuki yesterday morning, which s the start of a good day by any means. No complaints there.
While at work, I see that Schuldich has replied to my post. I can't figure out if I'm shocked, terrified, or some insane mix of both. We argue about perfection, and things seem strangely normal. In fact, the normalcy of it all makes my hair stand on end.
Continue working.
Haine calls. Of course, I worry, I meet him, I worry more. This is normal. We go to the cafe.
Tasuki is at the cafe. I remember suggesting that he should try it out, but I was somehow surprised to see him there. He seems-- uncomfortable, so I make my way over to him. Things calm down between he and that Axel fellow, all seems well. But this point, I'm ready to leave.
...
Tres. Tres walks in. Of all people, at all times, he just shows up. This is not a bad thing, but my hair stands on end again. I must have looked tense, because Tasuki and Axel both asked if I was okay. Tres overhears me, and speaks.
A rather long, awkward, painful, thoughtful, and yet somehow refreshing conversation takes place. Tasuki seems to get more uncomfortable. Of course, this makes me uncomfortable. At some point during this exchange, Haine asked me for advice about Nill and found myself amused. After that, it was back to being slightly sad.
Hikari.. is singing, and has been for a while. He's dressed like a woman again.
Doctor Faust seems to be brutalizing a muffin, which I choose to ignore. The man did not look well, and his antics were more than just a little unsettling. Tres seems unsettled as well, and I suggest he goes home and gets some rest. He does not argue.
Things are looking well, and Tasuki and I are making our way to the door.
And Hikari corners Tres. He looked.. almost helpless, which really didn't sit well with me. I asked if he needed an escort home, to which he acknowledged me with a glance. So, I wait. Hikari seems to finish up, but then asks if he can dance. Tres says yes, and I am certain of his doom.
I ask Tasuki to take me home. We're getting ready to go, I say goodbye to Haine and Nill, and Tres of course.. but when I do I note this trapped expression on his face. Still, I go.
And outside.. it seems that Tasuki had gotten the wrong idea about the past between Tres and I. He was jealous, I explained.. probably rather poorly, because I was shaken and feeling guilty for abandoning Tres. He told me to go back, but.. I couldn't bring myself to. I stayed with Tasuki instead.
And continued explaining.. and let my feelings for him slip, which I do not regret.
He ended up telling me he felt the same way. I don't think I've ever been as happy in my whole life as I was in that moment.
So happy that.. I kissed him. We've kissed before, but.. I've never taken it upon myself to kiss someone like that. And I learned for a fact just how good of a man he is. I'm overwhelmed. The feeling can only be described as euphoria.
We went home and went to bed. And I just woke up at his side again. it's a wonderful thing. Twenty four hours, and I wouldn't trade them, not even the uncomfortable parts.
Tres-- I'm sorry about leaving last night, I didn't know what else to do. There was probably nothing I could have done, but-- somehow it just felt like abandonment. Are you okay?
Oh, and Haine wanted me to give you his number, so here it is. xxx-xxxx.
Please let me know that you're well, it would be most reassuring. Again, I'm very sorry. Though- from what I did see as I was leaving, you're a very good ballroom dancer. Even if it was with Hikari. x_x;; Hopefully that offers some comfort?
Tasuki-- Thank you for another wonderful evening, and just being there for me. I'm getting to the point that I don't know what I'd do without you, and I don't want to know. I'm so glad to have met you. <3 Loki sends his love. I'll see you when I get home tonight.
Time for a new day. I have to wonder if this one will be as eventful, but I somehow don't think it can compare.
On a slightly different note, why does this song remind me of Hikari? Strange.